Sex coach: ask your questions

''Use it or lose it'' !

This works especially in sex. The more you have good sex, the better you become.

Also, regarding semen volume, the older you get, the longer you should keep your semen. But you can still masturbate, as long as you do it mindfully, take your time, and don't ejaculate everytime (for men over 50 yo, it should be between once every two weeks and once every month, depending on your lifestyle).

 

@TrueSaiyan
Hi TrueSaiyan, (I am a big fan of dragonball as well)

I know how difficult it can be to get out of a relationship. Time heals, and by meeting new people and reframing your inner dialogue in telling to yourself that you are happy by yourself first, you will regain confidence in yourself!
Don't get attached to the past as you can't change it, but rather focus on the beauty of the present moment, be grateful for what you have (practice being grateful every morning), and focus on your goals.

Here is also a limiting belief that you have in yourself that you need to reframe! Rather than saying ''women are not interested in me'', repeat to yourself, out loud, every morning, in front of the mirror ''I am beautiful, I am strong, I have a lot of skills and a personality that interest others''. By repeating it to yourself, you will gain more confidence and your brain will register it as true.

If you want to meet women, go where women are. Bookstores, coffee places, bars and free events are all great places to meet new people. Especially if you go somewhere where you have a specific interest, you are more likely to meet a woman with similar tastes.
Online dating platforms are ''good'' to hook up online. Remember that it is the same than in real life, you need to appear and be confident on your profile to be able to wake up interest in you.

Time to break that spell! You will write down 3 things that you want to do, three goals, and you will stick them on your mirror or your bedroom door, so that you can see them everyday and focus on them.

Get yourself a vision board, it is super helpful for affirmation and visualization. I can tell you that by doing these, you will get a kick in the ass and get super motivated.

If you don't feel masculine now, you need to change, only you can do that and make this choice.
Do the things that motivates you, that make you feel super happy and energized, and practice them on daily basis.

Find a book on dating or social skills (''how to build report with others'').

Treat yourself with some clothes and accessories that makes you feel yourself and confident. Go out. Meet people.

Also, practice talking to people by just telling compliment. One of my friend used to not be able to talk to women. I gave him the exercise of telling three compliments to anybody, per day, and walk away straight after. It was difficult at the beginning, but now he can easily talk to women and he is not scared of a ''potential no'' anymore.

You will break your negative inner dialogue by reframing it, being positive about your future and yourself, and by practicing being happy and confident!

 

Powerful isn't it?

My sticking note on my mirror say ''The major Key for a better future is YOU''. This added to 10 grateful affirmation every morning, it set you up for the day!

 

Every successful person had or has mentor. If we want to improve, we should never stop learning from great teachers!

''If you fin a great teacher, don;t just learn the subject he is teaching, but all what you can about life in general''.

 

I'm glad to inspire you to be happier in your life...

 

How is the door going?

 

Hi @ThyArtofLust , thank you for your post.

Yes, it counts. When you know they are flirting, why do you excuse yourself? And what are your regrets about?

It's time for you to get out of the cage and express your confidence.

Go along with the flow. As the conversation is going, especially if the lady started it, engage. Listen to her, ask questions, and share your opinion. If there is smiles and laughter, even better.
If there is repeated touch (arm, hands, etc) and if you get closer and closer, this shows mutual interest.

Be honest with yourself and with her, if you want to kiss her or you feel great, tell her! ''You know, I feel amazing with you right now, and I want to kiss you so bad'', whispering in her ear (for example).

We, Men, have to take control of ourselves, of our masculinity, and stop being scared of expressing our emotions and our desires. Be confident and tell others what you really want. Guess what, it may happen!

 

Hi @greenishmoon, thank you for opening up on this thread.

You can ask yourself two questions:
* What am I feeling discomfort about myself when someone touch me that way?
* What are my boundaries for touches that I want others to respect?

Well it feels to me that you already took a good step into talking about it to other people!
Talking about sex has to become like talking about everything else. It has to become natural, without shame, and meaningful.
How do you do that? Start by sharing it with close friends / family. Or even here. By talking about it to people you trust, you will be practicing talking about it in general.
You can also write down on paper and repeat to yourself evry morning ''talking about sex is easy, I am sharing my sexuality in a healthy way and it makes me feel great''. Repetition for your brain.

Love yourself first Greenishmoon. It has to be the foundation. You can't love others if you don't love yourself first. Practice self-love on daily basis, do what makes you feel unique and confident. Then you will be able to share that with others.
Also, get out and meet people. I don't ask you to go straight away dating, but creating meaningful connections with other, even just for friendship, will show you that you can have empathy and bonds with others.

Ever seen those ''free hugs'' people with a sign doing it in the street?
I used to do it a lot in festivals, and it was an amazing feeling. Not only I was receiving love and kindness, but I was also sharing it with others.
If you want kisses and sexual intimacy, you can't expect for it to come and knock on your door. You must go out and meet people, share quality time, and go beyond by sharing your confidence and making it happen! You can do it if you know you can.

 

Hi @Coffee Candy , thank you very much for your question.

You answered to your own question with beauty!

I would add that there is few tools you can use:
* During self-pleasure and masturbation, really let yourself go. Make sounds that makes you feel good (even if they are quiet), express your pleasure the way you want. If you make sounds during solo practice, it will be much easier to do it in duo.
* ''fake it until you make it'' would be an other good way to play. Do different sounds and see what excite you the most. Groan, moan, scream, hiss. You can do that either during solo or duo practice.
* Expressing what you like with words and sounds to your SO will be a great way to increase your pleasure but also your SO arousal. The more you will lead your SO with your sounds, the more they will excite you, and the louder you will get.

I would +1 that. Play with it, sex is a fun and beautiful game.

Also, if you feel that sounds are really not your thing, this is fine. Find your way to express yourself in the most pleasurable way (touch, looks, positions, etc)

 

Been there done that haha

It is a mix of ego stroke and challenge I would say. Especially when you start dating, it is the ''reward'' of what you can do, and you tell to yourself ''I can do it, I can still get numbers, etc''.

How do you move away from that? Stop taking numbers of women you don't have meaningful connections with, and focus on the ones that really trigger your interest and your happiness.

The more you will build meaningful conversation that awake your interest, the more you will want to share time with this person, and the easier it will be to exchange numbers (and especially: to use it!)