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How my masturbation addiction begin (at the age of 6 years )

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by PhantomAssassin, Sep 25, 2019.

  1. PhantomAssassin

    PhantomAssassin Fapstronaut

    Hello,
    This is the most embarasing story and I told nobody about it, I may have been younger but lets set the age of 6, one day I was with my brother-in-law in my grandma's house and she took us outside, there was this strait bars vertically from ground that me and my brother-in-law descided we are gonna use to hang on them. Then we come up with a game: Whoever stays longer, wins. And as i hanged in there my dick was in a such position that I felt that feeling for the first time, closed my eyes ignored the pain from hanging and hanged there AT 6 YEARS AGE. It is fucking disturbing, my brother-in-law was like "I fell why you are still hanging" and I stayed even after he said that, the feeling....just....first time I felt it...


    AAAANYWAYS

    Then we got to the apartament and I come up with the idea to put my dick tight to the bed and grind, and sure it worked.... ugh.. Its hard to keep going but I will.
    I started doing that infront of my grandpa and grandma telling them that im massaging my belly.... I started doing it everytime before bed, started doing it infront of my mom, and infront of my little brother......... WHICH I FEEL SORRY ABOUT since i TEACHED HIM AND HE STARTED DOING IT TOO !!!! I feel so ashamed right now, but I have to keep going... At this point my parents started telling me to stop it, so I had to hide from them but i deffinitely didnt stop, it became like and everyday thing, everynight thing, and everywhere thing... I have so much emberassing storys with this so called "grinding" but i dont want to get into detail...


    UNTIL I started cumming, after I realised that i introduced myself to the full experience called "PMO" since right after that I was told about the existence of porn...
    And you know how things go from there...
     
    Deleted Account and Asgardian36 like this.
  2. Overforme

    Overforme Fapstronaut

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    I will never forget my friend Edwin showing me grinding too at a very young age, and then my friend Mike showing me AOL porn images, and my friend Carl showing me VHS porn tapes, And then Aaron showing me cam sites and Scott showing me Bangbros... and eventually me discovering all the popular free streaming sites ... and eventually getting into harder and harder porn material... it's a vicious circle man. I wish sometimes I just could have grown up in the 70s. People I know that grew up in that era dont seem to understand the porn addiction problem. I missed the mark by 1 decade.. born in 83.
     
    Asgardian36 likes this.
  3. I can somehow relate to your story, but the difference is that I was 5 years older and discovered the devil inside the house with nobody watching me. And I'm saying "devil" without really being a religious person.
    I remember lying in bed and shoving my penis into some nasal spray's box and feeling good about it. The itchness after several minutes of doing it made me swear I would never do it again. And guess what, I was already caught in this deadly loop, the next day I was doing the same freaking thing. And from there on I can't remember much about this behaviour and really, about regular daily life things, which is sad and understandable (fapping).
    Now I've come up to a point where I could fall into a really hard depression if keeping going. After hundreds of attempts throughout more than a year and a few breakdowns after THAT moment lately, I really feel like I can't live my life like that anymore. I'm into a new phase now, and my whole future is at stake.
    So that's why I'd like you to be strong and keep going no matter what. Beware you'll lose your interest in NoFap at some point if you don't have your "why" list nearby, as you may have already experienced, but that only happens when the urges kick in.
    It's not that much of a big deal, all we have to do is to simply NOT do something, after all. And I've kinda been good at that over the years.
    Best of the luck, mate!
     
  4. PhantomAssassin

    PhantomAssassin Fapstronaut

    Seriously, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
    You gave me a perfect idea of making a "Why list" in my beloved notebook, which i tend to open every morning and write in it everyday. I hope this keeps my interest closer to its peek. (like when i started with that)
     
  5. Also you could begin leaving a post everyday in the "positive affirmations" thread. Might help you if you are honest with yourself.
     
    Washwaverr likes this.
  6. PhantomAssassin

    PhantomAssassin Fapstronaut

    cant find those positive affirmations, could you link it ?
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Washwaverr likes this.
  8. Asgardian36

    Asgardian36 Fapstronaut

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    dude....i'm sure they knew what was going on yet pretended as if nothing wrong was happening.
     
    Washwaverr likes this.
  9. Silver382

    Silver382 Fapstronaut

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    They just did not know how to address the issue!
    might have been hoping it was a passing thing.
     

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