This is the longest I have ever gone without porn. It was worse than that. I'll tell you, I really had a low point 6 months ago. My sex addiction was escalating. It was a low point and I just got down on my knees nearly in a fetal position and prayed to God to change my heart. He led me to do a study on repentance and what that means. I looked up a lot of verses and made notes in a note book. Only half way done. But it was very convicting. I am 47 and had issues with porn since I was 18. Not good. It's time for a change. I nearly snapped this weekend, but I made it, through the grace of God.
When I first got convicted of my need for Jesus to save me from my slavery to PMO, I laid down on the floor flat on my back. My heart beat so fast I thought it would explode. I felt like I might die. We witness the spiritual reality when it is manifested in the physical. This is very powerful. That wasn't the end of my PMO, but it was the beginning of the end of it.
Encouraging testimony...thank you. Lord, please bring me to TRUE repentance in every area of my life. "Godly sorrow brings repentance...and leaves no regret". (2 Cor. 7:10).
I'm glad you found the community here! I hope you find it encouraging and challenging. Can you share some of the verses you found helpful in your study?
I am glad. Sadly, i haven't beenable to get past 30 days. My longest was 21 and as of rightnow, i barely get a week. What makes it worse is thst i am at a point where pmo is the last thing i need right now in my life. I dont know whats missing or needs to be added. If its the word, i know the right scriptures to confess, meditate on or study. But, i still find myself indulging pmo even when its obvious its affecting me, physically nd mentally. I feel like i need to go back to the basics but i dont know where to start. Sometimes when i want to study the scripture, it doesnt just feel as fun as going on youtube to watch videos. Sorry i am pouring out a whole lot. Just joined this christian forum and your testimony was a great read.
What's wrong with YT videos? There are some great ones out there! https://www.youtube.com/user/InspiringPhilosophy https://www.youtube.com/user/jointhebibleproject Here is the problem: You are keeping a flame of lust alive in your heart. You do not want to completely extinguish it, because you enjoy a little illicit PMO every now and then. You believe somewhere down deep that this is a pleasurable good -- better than what the Lord has for you. So you keep that flame alive just a little bit, so that your "pump is primed" for when an opportunity for PMO presents itself. You must put out that flame. You must remove it completely and let the Master transform it into what he means for it to be. http://www.graceseattle.org/uploads/documents/Great-Divorce-Lewis.pdf It is hard to trust God in everything and for everything. And yet we know, deep in our bones and within our new hearts that he has given us in Christ, that only he can satisfy. Let him put out the weak, pathetic flame of lust and replace it with the all-consuming fire of the Spirit. You will not be disappointed, I promise. “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses
You are right. Never looked at it from this angle. There are those mornings i wake up and i know what i want a porn free day, but sadly my choices from food to choice of entertainment and many more. By the evening i am full pmo. What makes it worse is that, theres no struggle or strong conflict before i fall. Its like my flesh is armed for it. I have said it so many times that i want to quit for good, but i reallly want to this time. I am entering a new phase in my life and career. I dont need the weight of pmo.
