Dating this girl who..

I don't have a lot of experience with this, but here's what I would say:

•If she asks you a question, answer it honestly. If you find her attractive, just say it. What would be false about that?

•Even if you both like each other and think each other is attractive, you should probably get to know her more, before becoming super serious. Find out her personality, independence, self-control, values, etc. You're dating a whole person, not just a physical appearance. Know what you're getting into. And be yourself so that she knows what she's getting into.

 

If you like her give her a chance. Even if her physical appearence isnt ideal, her personality, and other characteristics may make up for that. Granted, you dont want to date someone that you think is ugly. But if youre expecting some mythical person to show up that checks every single box, you will be dissapointed. When I was younger and immature, there were a lot of girls that I didnt give a chance due to some minute thing that shouldnt have been an issue.
I learned from that. So, when I got into my 20s I changed that. If a girl was interested in me and wanting to hang out with me, even if I didnt think she would be my type, I would atleast meet up with her once, even if for a short time, just out of respect for her, and just to give her that chance.
Im not telling you to "settle" for someone youre not interested in, but I am telling you to be open minded.

 

I think the judgement and superficial standards are most of the problem

What if she looked in your families photo albums and said she couldnt date you cause you were bald pudgy and had a half inch penis when you were a baby.

 

In general, I dont believe in lying. But there are exceptions. One is, never make a woman feel bad about her appearance. They are very sensitive about that and most (even the beautiful ones) are self concious about their appearance. I would never tell a woman anything to make her think she isnt beautiful or doesnt look good "enough".

 

So if you dont find her attractive

What you are saying is you want to get laid.

The truth is better than anything.

I dont find you attractive but I want in your pants.

 

The smoothest pick up line I ever heard LMAO

 

i.e., I don't want you forever, but tonight will suffice. LOOOL

Sometimes you just want Miss Right Now.

 

Before you begin dating, you really need to study a little more on the female psyche. Remember that women view themselves through the lens of male approval. Even very ardent feminist scholars understand (unhappily) women's desire for male approval. Feminists argue that this thirst for approval stems from "social constructs." Evolutionary biologists argue that the need for male approval exists in primate social patterns. Christian religious scholars may argue the need for male approval exists in woman's shame due to their deceit that caused our fall from grace.

No matter the source, almost all academic and religious figures find the same phenomenon: Women need approval, constantly, from men they value. Every woman looks to her father for approval, and if she fails to receive that approval she may fall into "Daddy issues." We all know that women with Daddy Issues often spiral into dangerous and self-destructive behaviors that prevent forming positive relationships with men. Sadly, a woman who never finds healthy male approval may be permanently damaged.

If you find a woman interested in you, who you do not believe you approve of, for her sake do NOT date her. You might (I'm not joking) damage her for life. You do not need to approve of her unconditionally. However, if you possess STRONG objections to her, you'll eventually be unable to hide these, and your disapproval will scar her.

Your job from a female perspective involves building her up and providing her approval/attention. Do NOT think she operates like a man, and will well-receive honest critique. If a woman tells a man "Lift for me Bro, I like big arms." A man just lifts. He's glad he possesses a path to pleasing a woman. If a man tells a woman "run for me, I like thin women." A woman may easily shatter. She does not want a path to success, but she wants your approval most of all. This does NOT mean enabling her. You're definitely allowed to set a standard you'd like met, but you must be VERY careful not to damage her mentally through harsh judgement.

Tl;Dr - Women who date men require male approval for healthy self-image, so until you grasp this concept innately, I'd avoid dating women who do not match your ideal.