Performance anxiety

You may not appreciate this answer, but I hope you seriously consider my words.

Select your partner well. That's what you need to focus on at this point. You have no ability to fully control how a first-time experience will play. You're addressing a high-stress, hormonal-charged, life-changing event. Even someone with no anxiety issues, and no PMO issues, could face challenges during their first serious intimate encounter. Compounding this, you're a person who 1. has a PMO problem of some kind, 2. has an anxiety issue of some kind.

Someone with an addiction AND an anxiety problem must be very careful with his choice of partner. You need someone understanding, and stable, enough to handle any issues that might arise. If you receive any rejection/anger from your future partner, that's a huge red flag. Communicate clearly, and if you feel the need to conceal your issues due to your partners' negative reaction you should run.

Consider an alcoholic with social anxiety learning to date while attending AA. He'd need to find a supportive woman who understood his panic in social circumstances, and his anxiety around alcohol use. If he received judgement or anger, we'd all recommend he seek a new partner ASAP before he suffered a relapse or deepening of his mental issues.

This isn't purely predictive. You may be fine, you may need to spend some time working through issues with a future partner, but if you don't choose an understanding, stable, and loving woman you could end up with deepened PMO, and anxiety, issues.

 

It sounds to me like you're a normal, and healthily functioning, male. Any hiccups you possess will iron themselves out as you progress in a relationship. Considering your self-control, I'd strongly suggest pursuing a marriage and not a sexual dating relationship. This will give you the time and space to work out any anxiety issues with a partner you know won't leave. Further, once you're comfortable enough to date a woman for a long-enough period to marry her, it's unlikely you'll face the same anxiety issues.

Tl;Dr, congrats on being a fairly-normal dude, so get married!

 

Yes. I mean that if you're in a committed relationship with a caring woman your anxiety (and hers, remember women are far more self-conscious than us) will lower. You really sound like a normal man. Get married bro'!

 

Its normal to be nervous. My first sexual experience, ... even though i was ready and excited, i was nervous and scared at the same time. Luckily it was a girl i had been friends with for a month or so and i trusted her at this point. I was honest with her and she knew i was inexperienced, so she took it slow and helped guide me through it. I was 19 and had been on heavy pmo for several years before. But i had no problems performing when the time came.
Youll do fine man. Just dont rush it. The right woman will come along.
And to the one that keeps suggesting getting married.... Im married and although its great and i recommend it, i dont recommend rushing into that. Youre too young for marriage. You should date a bit first. And definitely date a person 3+ years before even considering marriage

 

Your route won’t be via a bar meet or a one night stand. You will have to become friends first, build mutual trust- trust on your side that she won’t judge you or your manhood if you fail to launch the first couple of times, trust on her part that you indeed find her attractive but you need to go slow to work through some of your own shit, but you are worth the investment in ego and time. I was exactly in your situation and that was my route. Find a girl who is also a potential friend, and when the friendship combines with attraction the magic will eventually happen.