90 Day Challenge Journal: Rebooting My Dating Life

So like all of you, I am officially starting the Rebooting Challenge (Hard Mode) to regain control of my life. In the past, I did not consider myself an addict since on week-long trips with other people, I would not feel the need to PMO. However, being the introverted guy that I already am, PMO chains to me further to my socially reclusive lifestyle. But breaking off the chains off this 10 year old habit will be tough, and that’s why I am here.
I recently began online dating and found a beautiful, sweet, and smart woman who is reciprocating interest in me. This was the final straw that led me to begin rebooting since I think I have PIED. So at present, I’m setting the goal of a 90 day Rebooting challenge (I’ve successfully completed a 7-day challenge last week). We are planning to meet for the first time over Christmas/New Year in Hokkaido for vacation. Who knows, maybe we can celebrate the New Year with something memorable *wink*.
Even if nothing happens during the vacation, I can still take pride in the fact that I’ve regained control of my life and not let PMO take control of me. Wish me luck and I would love to share this journey with this community.

 

So it's one week into my challenge and my original motivation has challenged. The girl I met on Tinder will be unable to travel for Christmas/New Years. And realistically, if I want to pursue a relationship with her, we should at least meet face to face once. So I'm a bit disappointed but to be fair, the fault is on me for expecting too much. This almost made me relapse yesterday but I managed to hold back barely. I'm not as excited travelling alone but I'm trying to sustain motivation to fuel this challenge. I know that any half-assed attempts will only lead to relapse down the line since there is always that little voice in the back of my head asking to PMO. Hopefully, this forum, the gym, and work will keep me away from PMO. I'm also subconsciously wishing for a wet dream, haha.

 

So I relapsed last night because my Tinder crush 'broke up' with me. When I first started this challenge, one big motivation was to get out and meet girls. Since I'm in a 3rd-tier city in China, I naturally turned to Tinder, where I met the girl I instantly became smitten with. She was beautiful, kind, and successful as a financial manager. I'm not sure if it was obvious she was leading me on, but love probably made me blind to the fact that she was actually trying to get me to be her customer. So when I told her that stock trading is not my priority right now (it's my job), she just deleted me from her friend's list. Anyways, I've learned a lot from this and I hope to come out of this stronger.

 

Thank you so much for your support!

 

So it’s probably high time that I update my journal. It’s been a while since my last entry and I can now say that I’ve went through the highs and lows of NoFap. I’ve felt the urges pounding at my willpower and I’ve felt the clarity of mind after a week of abstinence. Even though I’ve relapsed twice since my last entry, I can feel myself improve with each day that I don’t PMO. (Compared to when I used to M at least once a day)

I want to share an experience with everybody to hopefully show the destructive power of pornography on relationships. I’ve met with a few women in real-life these few weeks. One of them even invited me to sleep at her place, an offer that I accepted twice. We kissed, cuddled, and even slept in the same bed. But for better or worse, we didn’t have sex: the reason was that I could not maintain a long enough erection for penetration. Fortunately, I was able to satisfy her with my oral skills (6 orgasms over 2 days) and she has even stated her willingness to pursue a relationship with me. Nevertheless, this experience has made me even more determined to cure my PIED so that I can fully enjoy relationships.

 

Today marked my first official 21 days of PM (more specifically 7 days of PMO followed by 14 days of PM). I largely attributed this success with no spending too much free time alone. On the weekdays, I would go to the gym, meet with friends, cook at home, or even do work at the gym. On the weekends, I was able to meet with some lady friends I met on Tinder (hence the PM after 7 days). But I must say, even after 14 days, I already can see marked improvements in my sexual health and energy. My morning woods are fully erect and I can maintain longer erections without the need for visual stimulations. The next step for me is to channel my free energy into more productive things like studying for the GMAT and personal financial management instead of going to the gym everytime.