Power and Freedom

30 days.

I am not the first. Or the last. And 30 days is not a long time. But it is a step in the right direction.

I was told I should post in the success stories thread so other people can learn from my experience.

My inner world and my outer world have transformed. I have more confidence, more energy, more optimism, more focus, more clarity, more life. The darkness and death that gave me a feeling of being a ghost has lifted. The depression has faded. The anxiety has subsided. But life is not rainbows and unicorns. There is still a lot of darkness around me. But I don’t internalize it. So I don’t need to escape from it as often or as long.

But there is something I have noticed in the forums that makes me feel I need to make it clear that Nofap is only the first step. I have read so many posts by people frustrated because they gave up fapping, maybe even porn, but months later they feel no better. They seem to have a common thread. They stopped pmo but didn’t make any other changes.

I deleted Instagram. Which I was using to view and exchange sexualized images. No nudity. No porn. But sexual. I believe this was a terrible addiction.

I exercise regularly. Practice yoga. I have had almost zero alcohol. I rarely eat sugar. I’ve gone out to networking events and met strangers. I meditate. I keep a good sleep schedule. I’ve stopped reading daily news where the content is politically polarized and designed to trigger emotional outrage. I’ve smiled at strangers in public spaces. I’ve journaled. A lot. I’ve celebrated people on this forum for small and big achievements. And I joined the Spartan challenge created by @Kratos_GOW which is where I have been most active and had the most engagement.

For a lot of the first few days, and even two weeks, it seemed impossible. And it felt like the program was just about stopping pmo. But after that it started to feel like the program was about preserving the life I was creating. The inner world I was cultivating. It was about fostering self growth. It was about giving myself the energy I needed to do the things that make me a better human. So pmo became a threat to the life and the reality I wanted to live in, rather than something I was denying myself.

The feelings of isolation and loneliness are fading.

The feelings of bondage are fading.

I am feeling power and freedom.

A lot of people say that Nofap is crap. That there is nothing to be gained. But honestly, what does pmo bring into my life? For a few moments, a rush of endorphins that have been falsely triggered through manipulation and hijacking of my sexuality. Feelings of bondage. Embarrassment. Shame. Guilt. Horror. Emptiness. The list goes on.

Thank you to everyone who made this project and to everyone who has given me some sign of support and encouragement.

Stay Strong

The Alpha Project

 

60 Days Deep

I have focused my attention on the Spartan Challenge created by @Kratos_GOW and the support has been incredible. It is where I have drawn a lot of support. I have also done my best to support others. Which I believe is part of my success so far.

I read over my 30 day post and it seems to me that I don’t have too much to add. The program is becoming my life. Not just no pmo. That in some ways feels like a very small part. A very important one of course.

I think there is something very subtle to point out. In the beginning my effort was focused on how to escape the urges to pmo. So, I did things like delete my Instagram, increase my training, get out of my isolation and meet people etc. Later, I hit this space where the urges to pmo were far less frequent. And now more recently I feel this subtle inversion. It’s like, I have these things I want to do in life, and I have these things I want to escape and avoid. And, pmo is becoming this thing that pops up whenever I feel like I can’t get what I want soon enough or I want to escape from something I don’t feel like facing.

Pmo was once an escape from my life. Then my life became an escape from pmo. And now my life is just my life. I’m not running from life or from pmo. I’m just living my life. And that’s a strange place to be. Because I’m so accustomed to running away from things.

I like the mentality of the Spartan challenge. It’s really worked for me. If you are someone that is looking for support and encouragement come and join us. If you are a long time Nofap practitioner, come and offer some support by sharing some advice.

If you are new to the Nofap concept let me assure you that your life can change if you make the choice. Read my previous entry at 30 days. I’ve had tremendous improvement in my quality of life. Everything is changing for the better. There are still hardships. There are still monsters in my life. But I am far more equipped. I am far more free. Thank you all and God Bless

 

100 Days - To Freedom and Glory

Yesterday I completed The Spartan Challenge created by @Kratos_GOW on this forum.

Every single day without exception for the last 100 days I have logged on to check in for the challenge. What started as a dream of going 60 days before my next pmo gradually turned into me deciding to adopt this as a lifestyle.

In the beginning my focus was on stopping pmo. I increased my training at the gym. Yoga. Meditation. I cut out all social media. Stopped reading daily news. And almost eliminated alcohol and cannabis. A couple of times I consumed small quantities but only twice was I intoxicated during the 100 days. For the first couple of months that was my paradigm. I was doing these things to avoid pmo.

As time passed and I strengthened my good habits I felt much better. Eventually I had my paradigm inverted. I realized that all of these other aspects of my life were much better without pmo. My training. My work. My studies. My relationships. It was about this time I decided I would not pmo anymore because of the way it compromised all these other aspects of my life. I wasn’t running away from pmo anymore, I was running toward my life.

I still have hardship. I still struggle. I still suffer. But what is different now is my capacity to deal with difficulties and push forward to the outcomes I desire instead of being weak and caving to pressure so easily.

What I learned as time passed is that the slavery of pmo is far deeper than I was able to comprehend or imagine. The consequences reach much further and deeper. It is so much more than just the time spent on pmo activities. It shapes my ways of thinking. My emotions. My beliefs about myself and how the world sees me. All in very, very negative ways. As the days passed I saw more and more aspects of my internal world change and improve. Flourish. Revealing more and more layers to the ways pmo compromised my life, compromised me, my being.

I could write all night about the positive changes. The struggles. The victories. The tips. The slipper slopes. And for the past 100 days I have written profusely. And the further I got in the challenge the more I could see what other successful individuals had posted reflected in my own posts. The details are not the same but there are themes in this journey.

One of the most important themes for me has been community. I tried many times to stop this pmo habit on my own with limited success. It was only when I joined the Spartan challenge and participated regularly, daily, interacting with others that I was able to find success.

So, for anyone who is new to this path. And is unsure about how to go along. I would advise two first steps. Number one is to make a choice. To decide. To declare that you will find a way or make your own way. But you either way, you are committed to the journey. And second, find a community that will support you and also hold you accountable. There are many here. Choose just one and commit to it. I had great success with the Spartan Challenge. There are some people in that community who are serious about the journey and helping each other along the way.

Ultimately, this is a journey of the self. In ancient scriptures the restraint of the sexual energies is advised for self discovery and personal evolution. If you have found your way here it is possible you have more than a pmo problem. You have a problem with who you are as a person. The sooner you make a plan to deal with that the better off you will be and the stronger you will be in terms of ending pmo. You will realize that you no longer want pmo at all because you value yourself, you value who you are as a person too much. You realize pmo is not just an escape from life, it is an escape from your self. You realize then that in effect you are a slave. You are not free to be your true self. Instead you a slave to urges. Impulses. Cravings. Desires. And when you truly understand this and feel it as Truth, you will be well on your way to being reborn. Like me. Like many others.

May the Gods smile upon you all

@the alpha project