[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Checking in for day 17/90

 

I agree.

For me this journey also means that you learn to respect your sexuality again. And the sexuality of the person you're with. The problem with PMO is that the other person becomes a masturbation tool. But sex is about a connection. To go to a prostitute after 90 days seems like a waste: Save up all this energy for a person in real life. It seems to me you're now using a prostitute as a replacement for PMO.

Think about it: Why didnt you have a girl in the past two years? I think there are issues in place that you've tried to cover with PMO. Now, and after the 90 days you can tackle those issues increasing your chances with women. Without PMO you become more relaxed, more confident. Not just with regards to sex and relations, in regards to everything. Don't use that just to fall back into your PMO fantasies, but this time with someone you pay. Use that power to give LIFE another go. And build a relationship (could be a casual sexual relationship. Or even a one night stand. But a relationship with a "real" person you don't pay nontheless. If you really want to test the waters, this seems the way to go. At least to me. But if, after 90 days you still want to go out and do it, by all means. We all have our own path.)

 

Day 0. I'm feeling bad, i know that it makes me a bad person, but my mind seems more compulsive and emotional than rational, and that is bad, so bad. I need to study to a big exam in december, need to be free of this addiction the most quickly possible, and i'm ALWAYS relapse ...

I'll need to make a big change in my life, a really big change. i don't know on what, studies, habits, media that i see, etc. All need to change a little to i adapt myself from a new part of my life, which i'm free of porn and any sexual content.

 

Started Challenges August 21, 2019
Longest streak 147 days
Current Challenge 28/90 no PMO

No cold shower those days (very cold outside !). Didn't pray the chaplet.

Habit made:
-cold shower
-pray my chaplet
-wake up quite early

Habits to make:

-wake up (really) early
-schedule the day

 

Day 24

 

4/90

 

Daily check-in, on day 19.

 

Day 25 / 90 ! Weekend ahead ... Be strong fellas ! Keep going in the wrong direction.

 

Day 9 complete

 

Day 3

 

18/90 without any problems

 

8

 

32/90 Wish you a fine PMO-free weekend!

 

Joined nofap Jan 25, 2019
268/294 Good Days (no relapse)
Longest streaks 67 then 51 (4 years later)
Current Challenge 3/90 (ends Feb 13)
Day 93 weight training (3X/wk)
Day 30 reduced alcohol, caffeine and sugar
- nothing significant to report other than my woodworking hobby is now in full swing and taking my mind off PMO which is making staying clean easier
- have a great weekend, my bothers

 

Day 0 again

 

day 16 keep it up guys, no looking back.

 

Keep it up defeats the purpose here. Leave it alone, you mean. LOL

 

I must admit. I relapsed.
So today I am at home for almost the whole day.
I have a lot of stuff to do, but I was looking for something that I can enjoy, maybe a new episode of tv, maybe a new video from my favourite youtuber, but I can't find any.

6pm I was searching for normal movies but I clicked on the button that I must not click, found some rated movies and saw some nudes. I closed it and stop looking at it.

Later the day at 12am
Browsing again those rated movies, and this time clicked on the movie and started to watch. Watched some movie sex scenes.

Then I still did not masturbate, but the feeling of PMO was so so so strong.
Later at 2am I watched p and MO.
What to do when I have already watched some sex scenes? I just feel like if I watched, then I allow myself to PMO.

When I was searching for rated movies, or watching p, my mind is still clear at the moment, I know exactly what I am doing, BUT I can't hold myself. The rational me is not loud enough to stop me, I just give in like that.

I think this was again boredom and stress.
What I learned from this incident is the boredom and stress emotion can cause me to relapse.

Solution:
I need to write down a list of stuff to do whenever I meet such boredom and I must discipline myself following through.
I am going to write the list immediately after I post this, and stick it to the wall beside me and my desk so it will remind me all the time.
Usually, I am pretty busy so I can no PMO easily but like today when I have a lot of free time, I relapsed.

I feel really bad for relapsed. I know, it just for this moment, it is life, life has lots of ups and downs.
And I feel sorry to all of you for not making it to 90 days, I don't know what to say, I always say want to make it to 90 days, and it sounds good, but when I can't make it, I feel like shit, really.

Some words to encourage myself, I am changing my lifestyle, it's not 100% of no PMO yet but I managed to not do it for most of the time. I must get back up now. The inner demon inside me is still asking me to watch more, to indulge more. HOLY CRAP.

 

Day 2
Relapse is not an option.

 

RELAPSED AGAIN.....

A new movie trailer came out , i saw and suddenly my mind craved for some nudity, this night time is a real threat to me majority of my relapses occurred at this time , as per my promised i am not gonna intake any food for next 24 hours , starting now , this time let my mind suffer and get punished for what he has done to me . If i wont take some hard measures then i wont be able to get succeeded in my life and i will remain like this only .

I write my another post after my 24 hour punishment and i will let you know how it happened and what i have learnt from it . I ll drink water and max 1 glass of milk if necessary ( milk ).