Storytime

Hello Fapstronauts,
my name is Richard (male) and here are some information about me and my situation.

I started using porn at the age of 16. Back then it wasn't a big deal. I lived in america and we didn't have a lot of internet (internet was like storage e.g. 50 GB for a month for the whole family) so I didn't use it a lot. When I got back to germany this pretty much changed by a milestone. I was able to consume more with better quality. It got really bad during college. I lived alone and had high speed internet that enabled the use. To put it in a nutshell, I watched porn a lot sometimes even 2-3 times per day.

Fast forward to today. I'm almost 22 years old, never had a girlfriend, never actually had sex and I feel lonely. Don't get me wrong. I have friends that I enjoy being with but even with them it feels like something is missing. A few weeks ago I got out of a major depressive episode that almost destroyed my life: my grades got really bad, I didn't go outside and I gained almost 15kg, also I masturbated too much.

So what do I want to achieve here. To be honest I'm not really sure. I've read a lot about nofap and it's benefits. Getting more willpower, better skin, better sleep, overall more enjoyment of life. They all sound pretty good but my main goal is to see a beautiful girl somewhere and not only think of her as beautiful but to have a drive to talk to her with the goal of intimacy.

Let's see how this goes.

 

Hey helpinghand4all,
thanks for your kind words. I now have the feeling that maybe my story was a bit exaggerated. To be clear: I feel lonely but not miserable. I've gained 15kg but still look slim and I'm a virgin but I'm not ashamed of it. It's more the fact that I often had the chance to be with a girl but I had too high expactations (maybe because of porn) so I didn't mind to do something with her.

About the Insomnia: Did your sleep ever get better or did it stay bad?

Best, Richard

 

I think it's sad that being a virgin is criticized or shameful in todays soceity. Not everyone is lucky enough or has enough self confidence to talk to a girl in his early or even "later" years. Many of my friends told me that they got in a relationship when they didn't try to be in one. I think you shouldn't try too hard to get a girlfriend and just try too sozialize. As you said, don't put any effort in it unless you have the feeling it could work out. In that case you shouldn't wait and just try it. Maybe it works or maybe it doesn't. The less expectations you have the less it will hurt if it doesn't work out.

Just a side question. NoFap recommends to get a Accountability partner. Do you have one already?

 

Hello and welcome!

We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!