35 and older accountability, Group 2

Hi @RightEffort

I appreciate how you're willing to engage and connect with people while you're working out at the gym.

Eye contact, smiling and saying hello are actions that I still feel uncomfortable with, especially in the gym. For many years during my workouts I kept my headphones on and made no eye contact whatsoever. I worked out in complete isolation (much like how I lived my whole life).

For me, music and headphones are still a great accompanyment to my workouts: I listen to music during the cardio portion of my workouts (stairclimber), but I have stopped using them as a tool for disconnecting myself from my surroundings.

I've decided to remove my headphones because I want to feel a greater sense of connection to people, even though I feel uncomfortable and vulnerable without the headphones.

Only recently did I decide to remove my headphones, and only during the lifting portion of my workouts. In between sets remains especially challenging. I still mostly keep my head down, eyes focused toward the ground.

But I am forcing myself, as I pass people in the gym, to at least look them in the eye, smile, and even say "hello" occasionally.

 

I really appreciate your posting this. You have 192 days of clean living and you are wise and humble about it. Thank you for imparting your wisdom and humility. Reminds me that we are ALL succeeding one day at a time.

 

You’re right. I didn’t think of it as at “a dangerous limit” but I was. At that point, it could be a coin flip whether I PMO and that’s not a place I should be.

It was 11 pm and my mind was fantasizing and having a hard time stopping.

I’d love to hear group share ideas for what else I could have done to pull myself back from that limit.

 

well thanks for the warm welcome, here I am, first time in an accountability group. next milestones: 7, 14, 30 and then off to 60, 90 hopefully.

 

Thanks @persona2903 for setting up this group and allowing me to join.
I've been moving from one failure to another and then I found Nofap, I'm not sure what I expected but it is a great resource and I've found so much help here. I'm finding here the help I need to keep going, I know I have such a long way to go but I'm 7 weeks PMO free.
Thanks to Nofap and all you guys for the support so far and I hope that this group will be the next inspiration I need to kick this for good.
Keep up the good work, wishing you all every success.

 

Thanks.
Record keeping after a week.
1. PMO . Yes.
2. Cold showers. Yes.
3. Squats. Yes. 3 times a week.
4. Push-ups. Yes. 2 times last week.
5. Garlic cloves. Yes.
6. Added elbow plank. 75s today.
7. Added intermittent fasting. Once 24 hrs, once 16 hour last week. Planning to do two 16 hrs and one 24 hrs fasting every week.
8. Run/walk. Only 1.5 hr walk last week. Its raining and gets dark sooner. Need to plan better.

 

PMO. Need your advice.
1. I am not doing mental celibacy as I do run my fav P in my head, and I have vivid memory. I am making sure I am not touching my dick when I run it in my head.
2. Deleted all P from phone. Yes. Good job.
3. Still watching tiktok of beautiful girls.
4. I am concerned (or my head is playing this game with me) that my dick is reducing in size by disuse. (And cold showers do make it smaller ). I also had some morning wood, but it was not real hard. My head sometimes tell me to check if it can get hard. My will is winning for now. And I have resisted this urge to make it harder. I do give it some pull and tugs.

 

Thanks for sharing bro - that sounds really good to honor your truth.


What has helped me to go from being shy and timid to bold and free is greater self-awareness of what i am beyond my physical body. When I recognize the soul in me i can recognize the same soul in others and this gives me the freedom to be able to look people in the eye.

If/when your ready to take this to another level let me know and I can write you up some suggestions that i would do if i were in your shows, because in the past I was there and I have some potential insights to share - maybe no promises.

Until then good on you for challenging yourself and expanding your personal space - You are a powerhouse for doing this because your making the world a more loving place

 

Great job for being aware that you are NOT doing mental celibacy.

If your ready - its now time to ACTUALLY stop your addiction - which is in your own mind -

Through your intention and sincier commitment to bettering yourself, you have the capactiy and abilty to stop this immidetly.

All you need to do is to take a deep breath, do a prayer or connect to your vision.

use every temptation in your thoughts to connect you to your soul/vision/higher self.

Dont be hard on yourself if you slip and give in to thoughts but the moment you realize you choose to stop and do not give it any more room.

If you keep thinking those thoughts your relapse is gauranteed and you are only causing suffering to yourself.

its like a hungry person fasting keep looking at food behind a glass wall. it is suffering.

I suggest meditate more and connect to your essence because right now your addicted mind is keeping you in thecycle of misery.

But sometimes we wont listen or care until we have had enough, so the question is have you had enough?

If so then stop this, just my personal suggestion - if it doest resonate throw it away and ignore me

 

I've really been enjoying everyone's comments! This is my first time joining a group. It's great to be able to check in here each day and get more ideas and inspiration to stay on the best path.

I was doing really well in September and October. Then in early November, I caught a cold for a week. The pain wore me down and I made a bad decision to return to porn. It was an important reminder that physical and emotional pain can leave us more vulnerable to making poor decisions that lead to setbacks.

I hope everyone can stay happy and healthy this winter! If you catch a cold or feel stressed out by the holidays, maybe that's a good time to check in here on this thread and get re-inspired to stay on track!

 

Hello everybody! I´ve been free of PM for 68 days. Today was an intense day. Bible class in the morning (3 hours), I attended the whole class, chatted with the teacher and he was pleased to see that I read the Bible regularly.
I went to the afternoon class (3 hours), I also attended with enthusiasm. I shared a Christian song with the group (which counts a lot since none of my classmates are Christian, not even the teacher ... I remember that on 10/31 she didn't like me not eating the Halloween candy)
Then, in my class, in which I am the teacher (1 hour. Theme of the day: Union with Christ), I think I have given a very good class. I wish everyone could believe in the truth of the Gospel.
In the evening I went to the gym (1 hour today). I traded a lot. Thank God, since I returned there I have not been tempted again.

 

great reminder - your right sometimes unexpected stuff can really trip us over.

Another dangerous one is over tiredness or insomnia - that can really make the will power go extremely weak the same way as doing drugs or drinking

 

regarding 1)
One of my biggest triggers is being sleepy but actually rolling around in bed and not being able to fall asleep. PMO'ing in this case often "helped" as some kind of sleeping aid, but then you wake up the next morning with a terrible feeling of course.

 

@dasher good job, looks like your routine is well thought out and comitted - what about the garlic gloves though? Where is the connection to PMO?

 

I have read the rules and would like to join this group.