I need dating advice ASAP!

Hi

I'm new in this forum and I need some dating advice.

First thing you all need to know is that I am an idiot and that is why I made a mess of this situation.

But here is the deal. I have known this girl for about 8 years now. In the beginning, I knew she liked me, but I was in love with someone else so I didn't do anything about it. As time went by, from time to time, I thought about going out with her because she is very pretty and very nice. But, she liked me and I was still in love with someone else, so I chose not to do anything.

This was the situation until last year. We went to a party and she was dancing near me. But me being the idiot I am, I didn't do anything. Then, in February or March, there was an event here in my town that we both attended. But she didn't talk to me that day, even though, a friend of hers and her seemed to stay near where I was for a good amount of time while we were there. A month later, I went to a bar and she was there. When I got there, she was sitting near a table where my friends were. I talked to my friends but when I turned back to talk to her, she moved to a table in the other side of the room. I took that very personally as, even though I didn't use to like her, I was almost (sometimes I am hard to deal with, I admit it) always nice to her.

But then something happened. She went to the bar with another guy and I got really jealous. In that moment I knew that I had a thing for her. But I kept my cool, after all, she isn't my girlfriend, so she is free to date other guys. I knew the guy she was with and talked to him briefly. After he went back to his table, she asked him if he was talking to me, but in a way to make it seem that she didn't know I was there. I got pissed off and it was clear by my voice tone, but I managed to keep my cool enough not to say anything stupid.

After that day, I would only see her again in September. We were at a party and I thought I was over her. I was having fun and dancing with two friends of mine (a couple) when a girl that knew them approached us. I was talking to her and thinking about making a move. But when I looked back, the other girl (the one I need help with) had crossed her arms and looked furious. I decided not to do anything about the other girl and left the party. That day, I knew I wasn't over her and that was really into her and I left because she didn't look like she wanted to talk to me and I didn't want to do anything stupid to really upset her.

In the beginning of this month, I saw her again. We were at another party. She smiled when she saw me and said hi to me. I went over to talk to her but only gave her a hug and went my way. This time, I could have approached her and made a move on her. But, I got afraid. Every negative thought possible crossed my mind. "She will reject you", "after all, you've done, do you really think she would want to be with you?" are just a few examples. When I left, I was disappointed at myself.

Now the situation is the following. I think she still likes me but she is probably pissed off at me. I know that I like her as I can't take her out of my mind. But I don't see her very often. And after all that happened, I don't know if sending her a message is the best way to try to work things out. But I am out of options.

What would you guys do?

 

You are right. I have to do something. And yes, I am overthinking it. I don't have that problem with other girls. But in this case, I am afraid of rejection. Let's say that this one would hurt a little bit more hahaha. Still, I have to do something.

I was thinking about it even before I read your response and I am going to do what I usually do in these situations. Be myself, be honest and show her that I am interested. It is really all I can do. I can't predict the outcome. And your response gave me more confidence to do it. It also gave me more clarity as I am wasting a lot of time thinking about it, but doing nothing about it, which isn't healthy.

So thank you very much. This was really helpful.

 

I agree. Thanks for keeping it real.

She is special. I've known her for a long time and I won't change my opinion even if she ends up saying no, which is one more reason to ask her out anyway. And other girls show interest in me hahaha. I am just not willing to date any of them until I figure this situation out, which once again, is one more reason to ask her out.

But your point is still valid. I need to do something. I can't live my life like this anymore. It is totally unhealthy. So, thanks for your help.