I feel so lost... In need of encouragement

I miss when I was up in 70+ days, I was the best version of myself... Now I'm back on ground. I feel like I hate myself.... Like I've ruined everything around me. My separation anxiety is over the roof as I continue to overthink everything. I don't know what to do. I feel like my communication skills have deteriorated. I feel like a wounded soldier with little to no hope left. I'm not even attracted to porn anymore, I hate it because It's destroyed all of my previous relationships and I now feel it's destroying my current one. I was so enthusiastic just a couple of months ago and now I feel like shit. I'm holding on to the little motivation I have left and using meditation to calm my separation anxiety while using music to calm me in times of darkness. My relationship with God has also deteriorated and I just feel alone and lost. Help me.... Give me words of encouragement because this drug has managed to drive me right into the ground once again.

(Please don't move this thread to relationship forums, I never get the help I need there. Thanks)

 

Thanks Brother. Very true, if I've made it past 70 days before I know for a fact I can accomplish it again! I'm gonna get off the ground and strive to perfect myself.

 

Thanks Driew, I guess I've been struggling with lack of disciple by giving in too easily to the urges of porn and by never giving myself the care and worth I deserve. I need more disciple to keep reminding myself what I want for the future!

 

Thanks for the support. I felt like I was at the top of the world when I was 70 days in. But I've recently come to the realization that even though I've hit rock bottom this is a great opportunity to create a new beautiful beginning.