[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

47/90 A tough day yesterday. It was a truly challenging few moments but I got through that. I'm grateful for my decision now. I also think I solved the death grip problem. Sensitivity is quite good. After completing the hard mode, the test with girl follows.

 

Checking in for day 5.Weekend will be crucial.

 

Day 70, checking in.

 

Day 57
slightly aggressive

 

I am happy u found it helpful. Hope others also find it helpful.

 

Woww....u nearly made my cry my friend. Its a great exercise. I appreciate u opening up and sharing this, exposing urself to the world and making urself vunerable. Thanks for sharing this.

 

Checking in for Thursday, Friday and Saturday...Been travelling a bit, so couldnot post. Apologies. I am motivated than ever to be Porn free. But I dont want to have any hate and contempt for my past choices. A friend just shared 5 regrets which was very emotional read for me. I instead want to share 5 things for which I forgive myself and I want to move on in my life. I forgive myself for:-
1. Being a Porn addict for a large part of my life. I forgive myself for making a wrong choice.
2. I forgive myself for being a rule bound person who works too hard on everything and always comes up short without appreciating myself. I forgive myself and I will try to appreciate my gifts and people around me.
3. I forgive myself for the lost friends and potential partners I could have had. At times I didnot knew how to approach someone, attimes I was afraid and shy, at times I didn't have the confidence perhaps being an addict...But I forgive myself.
4. I forgive myself for not clearing the prestigious exam I have aimed for many years. I committed blunders on the way. But now I am educated bout what not to do and I have a chance to bounce back. I forgive myself for my mistakes.
5. I forgive myself for not spending as much time with my brothers and sister. Circumstances and my choices didnot give me enough time.

If you found this helpful, I invite you the reader to share your version of 5 regrets/forgiveness you have in your life.

 

B

Brother since u been struggling for so long...I think u may need some new skill...like Meditation?...We all know it but hardly do it...U can try any version u like..It may help u. God bless u.

 

4/90.

 

Day 3. Good. 3/3. Let's do one week. 3/7

 

Post orgasmic illness syndrome, basically you feel like shit for days, dont want to socialise and cant think clearly.

 

Day 2 and dead.

 

Relapsed. Really dont know how to get pass the first week anymore. Need help

 

Making it about self forgiveness is a brilliant twist on the idea of 5 regrets. Well done. I will do the same here too.

 

It is very hard. But I will never lose my goal.

 

Current Challenge 2/90 (ends Mar 12)
291/323 Good Days (average relapse every 10 days, a huge improvement for me)
Day 105 weight training (M, W, F)
Day 42 reduced alcohol, caffeine and sugar
Longest streaks 67 then 51 (4 years later)

Following the brilliant lead of @franco-desiboy, I will re-frame my regrets into self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself for ...

1) being a PMO addict most of my life as I lacked understanding of the consequences of my behaviour and didn't have any better coping mechanism for dealing with emotional pain
2) not letting go of feelings toward my ex-fiance sooner as I lacked the knowledge to grieve and move on properly
3) the pride in my life which also contributed to the estrangement of my brother and I
4) not living up to my potential in life as the feelings inferiority and inadequacy, dictating my life choices, where not my fault. Our home environment growing up was not conducive to having good self-esteem so I also forgive my parents and my brother for their roles in who I was as a child. They too lacked insight and self-healing in themselves to make things better
5) not choosing a career that I had passion for since the one I chose allowed me to be a good provider for my family with a stable income. I push my kids now towards a career they have passion for so to avoid the mistakes of their dad.
6) not pursuing girls I would have wanted to have a relationship with since I was only acting from the level of courage I had at the time

Your brother in this struggle ... ironic how you guys have become the brother missing in my life so thanks for being there.

 

day 3/90

 

complete day9 mind is full of sex thoughts any tip for this but i dont pmo

 

- go for a jog, get busy with some hobby, go out with friends, etc. Just don't stay at home bored with your devices. Definitely don't peak at anything stimulating or you are done for. Hope that helps.

 

8 days