Alone and suffering

More than once I thought about ending my life and even these days I think about it. But what’s keeps me going is hope. I believe in God and I believe He loves me and loves you too. I’m sure He has something planned for us. And that should keep us going.

 

I wish I knew the words to rid your suffering and pain.

May peace and strength be with you today.

I've noticed, during "recovery", that at times my demons resurface, and that at times it's very scary to confront these demons without the aid of my usual escapes: PMO, fantasy, p-subs, marijuana, and alcohol.

And I often struggle dealing with people. I often feel anger and at times rage. What helps me is humbly asking God to remove my anger, insecurity, and ego. I pray to God for more understanding and acceptance, because I want friends and family in my life. I want to trust and support people, and I want people to trust and support me.

 

Hi man,you are on good way i wish you all best.Life can be miserable,life is unfair,but if you want to live you must stick with that and accept that.I know how it is to have suicide as idea.I was sexually abused by pedophile when i was kid,when i was about 15 years old my father have kick my mom and younger brother from house,when i was 15-16 years old my father,me,grandmother and grandfather have lived just by grandfather pension,in that time we only have to eat bread.That was time when i was like i don't wanna die but i ain't keen on living either,year ago was last time i have suicidal though.
Now when i m older i have job,i have private job too,my mom come back home with my brother i have personal solve problems with my dad.Long story in short i want to tell you if you don't believe in yourself nobody will,defeated is only one who think they are,good luck friend.

 

Sounds exactly like me on my darkest days. My Christmas wasn't the best neither. I was sleeping all day wishing for it to end before it started. Fortunately it is soon over. Christmas can be a pain if you have no family to celebrate with.

30 days no PMO is great. What is the next thing on your list? Work out in the gym maybe? Buy some nice clothes? I dont believe that you are ugly. There is no such thing. Be proud of yourself. Walk with a straight back, make strong eye contact. Develop conversation skills and so on. No one will see you as ugly if you walk like a champion.

 

Hang in there and look to Jesus. Cry out to Him and pour out your heart to Him. Give Him your heart. He wont disappoint you. John 3:16. You can inbox me if you want to chat more. Hang in there!!!

 

have faith in god and he will lead you to the right path but he wont help you get laid. f he could, he would have already done so.

 

ofka

 

I’d recommend joining a 12 step program in your area or seeking therapy. You can check out my journal if you want- I am doing the same.

 

[QUOTE = "TheOtherABC, post: 2368706, członek: 369779"] Dzisiaj kończę miesiąc NoFap.. Chciałbym tylko umrzeć!

Jeśli jest Święty Mikołaj, Jezus, Bóg - proszę uczyń ten dzień ostatnim dniem mojego życia. Jestem przegranym, który nie jest w stanie znieść bólu, ale zbyt boję się popełnić samobójstwo. [/ QUOTE]

I know what you feel bro

 

Man this post made me sad, it reminded me my youth. Also alone, family away, no friends, rejected from the world, weak and tired, depressed and scared. Find someone to talk to if ur experiencing crisis, there's international suicide hotline many people told me it's really helpful.
I don't know what to say but hope you will get better soon and just know the depressive thoughts and feeling are only emotions. Suicide thoughts as well, they are emotions so don't act on it. They shall pass, then they might come again, but just know in the end they will pass and never come back. Just believe that

 

thats how life is for some people. sucks when you are born with the wrong genetics. imagine how live would be if you were white and good looking.

 

He should give his life to Christ and ask Him to take full control of it.
Andhira, being white is not the end all and be all of human existence, neither is looking good. Both ideas are shallow and just plain wrong.
White genes are not superior to others. And being white does not make one genetically "ok" or superior to being of another color or race. Its people who hold these superiority complexed views who are a primary reason why the whole world is jacked up in certain ways till this day because its running off of fuel mixed with these lies from religion to economics to politics to health, to housing, to education to you name it.

 

What probably kills me the most is being ignored. Feeling invisible with no response when you try and connect with people. The days passing while I still have that void in my soul. I wouldn’t commit suicide but I do have a frustrated anger.

 

this is what ugly men live