Emotionally unstable,need advice

don't worry about it man, you are totally fine. Maybe you just have not-so-bright people around you. I am by myself a lot, and I prefer that.....it's more peaceful, and I can do whatever I want, when I want. besides, who better to have meaningful conversations with than yourself, haha, everyone can agree with that!

 

worry about it man! I can attest that most people are not worth spending time with, however that is no excuse to not socialize with them. If I didn't talk to the people I don't like i wouldn't be talking to anyone. When you are at work/school etc. where you are surrounded by people with whom you don't have any choce, just do smalltak and pleasantries. You need not to go into deep philosophical subjects or personal problems. Once you have weeded out the people you can trust you may do it with them. Also you must assert yourself and stand your ground. Don't agree with everything just because you are part of the crowd. You'll get backlash, but you won't use your identity. The therapisdt/psychologist will only hel;p if he understands the social fabric of human nature. Most psychologists are freudian and reductionists saying it's all in your brain and stuffing you with pills.

 

Yeah this is definitely something you SHOULD worry about. Look up the symptoms of CPTSD. Im no doctor but what you're describing sounds pretty similar. And even if you don't have it, learning those skills (found in CPTSD workbooks) will help you be less reactive and strengthen your sense of self.

 

Have this one sometimes. I think it's due to a lack of self-confidence that leads to paranoia. You think you are worthless and people around you (even best friends) are making fun of you and jokes seems to resonate with you in a kind of sarcastic way, not direct. Some sentences may resonate with what you think of yourself and appear as directly addressed to you even if the person who said it didn't even think about you. It's a weird feeling.

I experienced that in an extreme way for the first time in my life during an acid trip, I was hearing voices which I thought came from around me and I was thinking that was my friends' ones but they simply came from myself talking to myself with voices sounding like coming from out. I was in a state of psychosis, where I could no longer trust my friends, thinking that they were in my mind, raping me from inside...that was a terrible experience, Thought I was becoming insane.

Since then I keep experiencing it at a lower degree, especially while smoking marijuana. My lack of self-confidence, bad inner dialogue are mixing with elements from the outside world making me think that people around me want to hurt me with sarcasm and tricks, but it's just paranoia.

 

Hi, king

Okay. So. No, I don't think you've got psychological problems. All I see is environment / life setup problems. I'm a 25 year old incel, I experience none of the problems you listed but it's not because I think differently, it's because my lifestyle doesn't arise any of those problems. I'm probably more lonely than you, but I also haven't had a single person disrespecting me for over a year for sure. Not that I couldn't take it, but that's a statistic (!!)

I'll just rush through your questions real quick:
0)psychologist. Dubious. I haven't had success w/ them myself and from what I know the overall success rate is quite low. More benefit is gained from changing your lifestyle. Unless you want to get psychologist -> psychotherapist -> get prescribed pills, but then you have to buy the pills and may become semi-dependant and then have to manage your tolerances to certain stimulants or whatever and it's all this little game on top. Do you want it?

I've tried online therapy and 2x live psychologists, was of no value to me. I've never used said pills so I don't have experience, but pills (stimulants, depressants, etc. are the standard approach if you want to change your emotions through working with your psychotherapist). I don't think a single psychologist can help you, most of them don't really know their craft and are too busy with too many clients and their own life (which is also unsorted, typically) and it's mostly mere talk with no benefit, from my experience
1)don't surround yourself with such people, ideally. How do you have such people in your life in the first place?
2)tell me more about those brawls. Fist fighting is dangerous. You don't have a mouthpiece, get clipped, you can lose teeth on worse occasion. Or the opposite, you do that to them and then they want to kill you as a revenge (at least that's my image of a violent environment and fighting, not sure if that's close to reality).
3)how do you get in this situation? Are they in your job or at home or at friend's house?

5)sometimes this personal insult is true. E.g. it unveils and you really have a strong weakness. The question is, can you improve on those things?

6)it's not your biggest problem, actually people like that are the bread and butter of the society and I've got massive respect for them, for helping us others and doing their job properly and cleaning up and caring about nature and etc., you shouldn't change it, you should find people who appreciate your hard work there and value what you do for their and the overall benefit of everybody. On the edge case, if they don't give a shit. Make a goal, say, you won't help Igor (who doesn't respect you). Break the goal down, do it, checklist it. Repeat it, then move to another person. You don't have to change your habits in one day. It can start with simply not helping / not wasting your energy on one person in your cycle who doesn't care about you.

 

Np, my pleasure. It costs nothing to me to write.

Oh. But fighting skill is good. It makes you quite unafraid, in general. You've been punched in the face, you've punched others. So, I still recommend taking boxing classes and, ideally, doing some 'real' amateur fights for an amateur record to ground the skill being more real. Plus some BJJ or at least MMA if you actually plan to get into fights, because ground game is needed some of the time.

3. I think, you should eye a way out of the store. It's an entry level job meant mostly for people who didn't develop their career. Do you have skills in any other professions? Can you train yourself for a change in profession? Doesn't have to happen overnight, but changing the profession in under a year would be good. Software development is good, but you have to get good at it and then improve even more. Everyone wants a good software developer but being a legit good software developer is hard.

5. don't hate it. List it, embrace it. These are the areas where fixing them gives you the most improvement and most happiness if you've managed to change them. So, say, you have 10 flaws. If you keep track of them. Either now or after a month you can find a way to improve in one of those flaws. Once you've listed the flaws, this might even happen naturally, because you know what your flaws are. If you know, they become something you can work on. A radical example, let's say, I dunno, you lisp, for example. That's terrible, right? Oh, this is why you don't get respected? Etc. this is why people can't understand what you say and then they ask you to repeat and you can't and everyone thinks you've got autism or something. Most lisp(s) can be cured up via voice training. Get cash, voice training, real improvement in less than 80 hours of effective training. Same if you think you're skinny and weak, for example. Via training properly you can get in better shape than 93% of other men.

6. For sure. It's a tough life. You can't fix it right now, in one go, unless you see an option to (say, you can withdraw $10000 of debt, run away and never pay the debt, that might solve all at once in 2 days). But else, it takes time. You can only pick one or a couple of fixes at a time, deploy those fixes and then go from there. There's a reason these piece-of-shit people around you exploit you, they've sensed they can get away with it. The easiest solution, in my opinion, is don't try to fix it, move away, get more successful than them, eventually. For being threated bad, if it repeats in new place, you know it's from how you carry yourself or the local culture or both. If it doesn't and it's fixed out of the box via moving, great, you fixed a core issue and it was the piece-of-shit people around you, not some universal thing.