Frustration because wife is never in the mood

Don’t make the mistake of most married guys here.

be porn free for you — don’t quid pro quo your partner to get it.
You deserve it for you. #freeatlast

 

When you say your wife is never in the mood, what do you mean? Are you putting effort in to actively pursue her, to make her feel wanted and to make her feel more relaxed?

The other thing to do is to simply talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel and listen to what she has to say. At the end of the day she is going to know your exact situation better than anyone on NoFap.

It might be that she just has a lower libido than you and you've got to respect that.

 

All marriages are different and sadly a lot end in "dead bedroom" situations. Of course in a lot of cases this is because of P but that is besides the point. I think you should avoid thinking about what's normal in a marriage and focus on what you want your marriage to be. Obviously there is compromise but you've only been married for 4 months.

On that note, what was your sex life like before you got married? Has it changed significantly?

My advice is still to talk to your wife about this. Push the conversation if you need to. Sex is an important part of a relationship and the sooner you are on the same page about it, the better.

 

I'm a lucky guy, because my wife is rarely in the mood either, but we still have sex most nights. We lie there spooning & she is happy for me to pound away as long as I do her back & feet after, so we each get ours! Even if she doesn't feel like it, she always understands my needs too.

 

Looool we have the same wife. But I usually only do her feet too on the weekends

 

Yeap, I could never do hard mode cause of this! I need sex several times a week to keep me from M or PMO.

 

You need to rule out the following issues, that all affect women's sex life for the worse:

She
- Doesn't get help at home
- Doesn't get attention/love outside the bedroom
- Takes antidepressants (SSRI)
- Takes birth control
- Has physical issues down there

You
- Lack of hygiene, bad breath
- Porn issues (turn virtually all women off)
- Selfish in bed (communicate with her what she likes)
- Don't take care of your body (women are visual)

All this might sound harsh, everyone wanna be loved (and screwed) for who we are, but that is unfortunately not the case. Women are animals, and need to be wooed continuously.

Have you ever seen a male bird going up to a female asking her for a shag? No... He makes sure he is in prime physical condition, he makes a little dance, he shows his feathers, he brings her sticks showing he can take care of a nest. It's work, but that's what gets women going.

 

If your wife refuses there is plenty more fish in the sea.Men are also animals we need to be satisfied constantly.

 

so you are suggesting him to cheat on his wife? that's pathetic and not acceptable at all

 

Hi, very recognisable and relatable.
(so I'm saying things simple here but I know it is hard)

Hardest part for me is realising that I do not need sex.
You can live to be a 100 without sex. And it won't make you shriveled or frustrated or angry.
You make yourself frustrated and angry.

Your wife says no, what's is the big deal? Do you feel unloved, uncared for, not attractive?
Want a solution, make her feel loved, cared for and attractive.
And do not do this the way you would feel loved etc.

If you kiss her with the intention of sex, she'll know and feel it and that will put her off.
Like @Lilla_My says, we are the males and need to go to the trouble of the females feeling secure and attractive but excited too.

In the beginning of a relationship this is easy, everyting is new.
Later in a relationship and in life other things get in the way.

How long have you been addicted? Because this screws with your view of sex, your wife, relationship.
How long have you been doing NoFap and does your wife know?

It could be a thousand things why your wife is not into sex;
you coming on to strong, you always initiating, it is always about sex and she wants emotions and talks.
It could be physical, or just busy at work.

So start a new relationship with your wife. Talk, do things for her but out of love for yourself in the first place, her and your relationship second and third.

I repeat, it is really, really hard. I've been doing NoFap for 10 months. I still get very frustrated when I don't get sex.
You can read all about it in my Blog

Thanks for sharing

 

How is it pathetic.We are biologically wired to mate with multiple partners.Marriage is a social construct not biological.I have nothing against marriage but nature is nature if you repress your nature you will be unhappy

 

Except in my wife's case...when she found out about my PMO Addiction/Chatting to other women online she confessed it really turned her on and we had a week of great sex, making videos, etc.

It's calmed down now though and sticking to NoFap, as I know in long run these things harm relationship.

 

Yes, you have mentioned that in countless threads. But 99,8% of women would consider breaking up with a husband that did that behind their back. It's one of the most vile things you can do to your partner.

 

You couldn't be more wrong. The monogamy gene was found among men in 2008. Studies made on human genealogy proves that monogamy have largely been the norm since 10 000 years back. Polygamy is largely impossible due to the enormous amount of parental investment it historically have taken to bring up a human, not to mention the risk of infanticide. Some people can't keep it in their pants, but they are an exception to the rule.

 

wow. This is epic and awesome ! Thanks!