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1 year and 4+ months I still have femdom

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Kligor, Jan 13, 2020.

  1. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Hi people of the planet Earth.
    Ever since i was little child i was attracted to femdom,when i was 5-6 years old i see some scene on tv which included femdom and then boom i was doomed.Since then i was attracted to femdom.
    TRIGGER WARNING:When i was 5-6 i didn't know anything,how to fap,what sex is?What fetish is?So i think i never got time to develop attraction to ti*s,pus*y you know mostly normal body parts from women.This femdom fetish isn't porn induced because i didn't know what porn is back then,so my question is will this ever pass?Like most porn induced fetish?Or will i ever be able to normal sex(you know what i mean,i m sure).I was about this to ask you all for advice or do someone have similar experience?I very close to total 500 days of nofap,i did 269 no PMO streak in row and this still follows me.Now i don't have problems with fantasy,urges are very rare,when urges comes i have no problem to resist and my femdom fetish is still here,it's very weak easy to control them but it is still here.Thank you for your time.
     
  2. It indeed doesn't look like a porn induced fetish. But if it really bothers you that much, maybe yould consult a psychologist or a sex therapist to sort it out.
     
    Kligor likes this.
  3. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your time buddy,that was long post.
    Yes that isn't porn induced fetish so i think this will stay in my lifetime(This is some normal for me,nothing porn induced anymore i have),i hope i m wrong,but i accept myself how i m,didn't want to be like that.I m not sure about therapy but in future i will give it a try i have nothing to lose.
     
  4. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    I know I keep saying this but stopping masturbating will never stop you getting turned on by it. Please go to a thread in my profile and see the links. You could try some serotonin supplements but look out for side-effects. I urge you to do it asap because the mental damage from femdom porn can be quite severe.
     
    Becoming Jasmine and Kligor like this.
  5. I read an blog post written by a sex therapist about fetishes and how to deal with them. I'm sure it's part of their jobs: to help people live a better life.
     
  6. Ronaldo Machuca

    Ronaldo Machuca Fapstronaut

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    Well when did you realize you had a problem? since you said at 5-6. I assume you are at least 17. meaning oh boy that may take over 10 years as that's the time you were into fendom content. May take less but typically you fully recover depending on the time you exposed yourself to your problem.
     
    Kligor likes this.
  7. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Then i will give it a try!


    Hi buddy,i m 19 years old,yes that is much time.Some people call reboot 90 days.I m on 485 day now that is almost 5.5x times longer period of time so i guess this will stay like this except i do something about this.I realize i have a problem when i was something like a 12-13 years old,but i was always in shame back then to speak with someone about this.When i was 15-16 then i was little worried about this.
     
  8. CuthbertRogerson

    CuthbertRogerson Fapstronaut

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    Forgive me if these questions seem a little curt or rude. But is the fetish that you have so bad? You like to be with a dominant woman is there a problem with dating a woman who likes to be sexually dominant? If you’re both consenting adults and enjoy each other’s company, I’m not sure how that harms anyone.

    I’m thinking as I write this so forgive the train of thought here- am I right that you have the fetish and that is why you resort to PMO to satisfy the fetish?

    If that’s the issue, then maybe removing the fetish shouldn’t be your goal rather changing how you deal with it.

    I think the recommendation to get a therapist is perhaps the best way to go to help you understand your urges and develop a healthy way to deal with them.
     
  9. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    Depends on how extreme the fetish is. Femdom fetishes are paraphilic disorders so causes mental damage if you increase serotonin enough after.
     
  10. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    I understand you,no need to forgive anything you try to help me.
    -If you ask me,then yes i think this fetish is bad(there is far worse i know).But i accept myself how i m and i m not in shame anymore because i know this is something normal i m just ok with this.
    -No i have no problem to try to date girl who is sexual dominant,i like cute and good girl,but no problem to adapt.
    -No that can't harm anyone(Expect me MIGHT that's femdom but there won't be any damage i m sure)
    -There is no another explain why i relapsed :)
    -Yes in future i will visit therapist there is nothing i can lose.

    I just have one negative thing about this i feel insecure to date girl,because of this fetish,but that insecure can't stop me i will date her anyway.I will destroy that insecurity same as i did destroy PMO habit.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2020
  11. This is your answer right here.

    I just spoke with you in another thread, and I believe you need to train your brain to want that dopamine from a different outlet.

    Try to rewire with a real girl.
     
  12. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    I don't know if you've tried the method in my profile but I urge you to do it if you haven't yet. Trust me, do not keep watching femdom porn as it can eventually escalate to you doing it for real. The mental damage from femdom porn can make you very suicidal if you increase serotonin after. I'm not religious but I'm scared what's going to happen to me after I die (don't ask lol).
     
    Kligor likes this.
  13. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    No i didn't try that method but i read that.
    Did you in past have femdom fetish and you get rid of that with that method?
    i don't know what will happens with me after my death hahah :)
    I don't know but when i started nofap after few months i was suicidal,thanks god i m not anymore.
     
  14. Ronaldo Machuca

    Ronaldo Machuca Fapstronaut

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    Like I said it depends on the person. For those who recover within a year tended to have a minor problem. If your problem is much greater. It'll take more time.
     
    Kligor likes this.
  15. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    I got some idea and i tried that today.
    I will fantasy about vanilla things,because all is in the brain.I will try to change my perspective.
    TRIGGER WARNING:Today i just sit down on chair and start to think scene where i fu*k girl,i thinking that scene for maybe 5 minutes i m no arousal and i didn't get erection,so no success for now.I will watch vanilla porn someday to see what happens might not good idea but i just don't care.Nothing bad can happens.
     
  16. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    I m natural attracted to femdom even before porn,before i know what sex is,what M is bla bla.So that is something which will hard to remove or might even not.
    I disagree,just by hanging out with girl will not change things,for me not.I already tried that,and i know what have aroused me back then.If i listen to my body i know what will happen nothing new.
    I will try vanilla method for 90 days and i will see what happens.Of course i will date girls no holding back.It sounds like sh!t idea but i can't do anything else alone.If i get aroused only once by vanilla during that 90 days i will never again watch those things,because that is my goal,normal sex.
     
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  17. blunt.ever

    blunt.ever Fapstronaut

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    Hi, bro. I read your story and I recognize I'm in the same situation. My femdom fetish is in my brain before as me to descover pmo. What is vanilla method? I woud like to apply if I would know what's about.
     
    Kligor likes this.
  18. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    TRIGGER WARNING:Because when i was around 8-9 when i love being trampled by girls from school.And i always pain attention to feet.(that about feet is not femdom,its foot fetish anyway).Like i said in post above when i was 5-6 i see femdom scene on tv and i got aroused to look at that all the time.I started to M when i was 12-13 and started femdom at 12-13 years old(started PMO at same time).
    Yes,i was never attracted to vanilla.I was never interested to fu*k and that is big problem here,i have no problem to got session by gf,but she would want to have sex too.


    Hi buddy that method is something what i made by myself so i m not sure can that help me or anyone,i just think it can.
    TRIGGER WARNING
    1.Fantasy you fu*k girl(DO this minimum 5 minutes a day)
    2.Watch vanilla porn(normal porn when someone fu*k girl)
    3.Watch pictures of naked girl.
    4.And finnaly date girl and try your best.
    5.But while you are doing first 3 steps don't touch yourself no M no O,just try to get aroused.Try to follow this if you want,and remmeber you just need to get aroused by vanilla and if that happens you win.

    I made this for me by myself so i m not sure can that help,i realize i have nothing to lose.
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2020
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  19. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Yes i will rewire with girlfriend(when i date one haha)
    But i will prepare myself i don't want to bad surprise myself.
    About therapy i will give it a try,nothing to lose.
    Point of this is not to get rid of femdom(it would be nice to to get rid of femdom)but that is my natural state so i think there is no chance,point is getting aroused to normal sex,that surely i can do.If femdom stays no problem,i must develop my self for normal sex too.
     
  20. CuthbertRogerson

    CuthbertRogerson Fapstronaut

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    That's very interesting. I didn't know about the paraphilic disorders. As with all things I guess the key is what you say about how extreme the fetish is. Like most people here these things must be serious enough to be having a negative effect on their lives, hence them joining this forum.

    Thanks for the response and the insight.
     
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