The Final Urge - A Story of 1.5 Years of NoFap

My fapping career started at around the age of 12 or so. I can even recall my first introduction with pornograhy. It was a warm sunny day at school when some of the older kids had decided to make use of the school libaries printer and saw that the school field would really benefit from having hundreds of pictures of nude women scattered across it. Up to that point I had always wondered why girls balls didn’t get cold when they wore a skirt. I got my answer that day and many more.


Fast forward 10 years and I was fapping in full force. I had my own computer in my room, a lock on the door and an internet connection that was able to readily deliver instant sexual gratification whenever the desire struck. Wonderful or so it seemed, but in hindsight just another blissfully unaware victim of the first wave of generations of young men to be exposed to easily accessible hardcore porn.


In my early twenties, the signs were starting to show. I was becoming an empty shell of a man. A continual decline in self confidence and a steady rise in social anxiety had been the trend through the years.

I was also losing a sense of respect for myself as the type of porn was becoming more extreme and perverted as my addiction grew. Yet still, porn was the crutch to help deal with the lack of female relationships in my life. I choose the quick cheap relief over actually making any effort and taking postive action.


I discovered the NoFap firstly on reddit, reading through the testimonies of men young and old being able to recover their zest for life by removing porn completely. I was curious, but skeptical and heavily questioned the pseudo science backing it though.

It wasn’t until a year later in the throws of depression that I decided I was ready to fight for a life I deemed to be worthy of living. Ready to go out on my shield, attempting to build a better life rather than laying down and rotting in a pit of resentment and bitterness.


I set myself my first 1 month challenge, I was motivated and determined to see if this practise really had any merits to it. I deleted my entire porn collection that I had built up over the years and was ready to ditch the addiction… I lasted 3 days before returning to a heavy binge and restoring my computer to retrieve my collection lol. I was a failure, but little did I know at the time that the secret to long term success at Nofap is to fail repeatedly at first.


The relapses one by one helped me to understand that the short burst of relief and pleasure isn’t worth the instant feeling of regret and regression on my goal to reach 30 days. Eventually I was successful in reaching my first 30 days clean from PMO.

The benefits were clear by this point, I felt the dark cloud had slowly started to recede and I liked the glimpse of a clear sky above it. I then went on the achieve 60 days and then my final challenge of 90 days.


After I reached the 3 month mark I decided to stop counting the days. I had completed the initial detox period and was sold on the benefits. Placebo effect or solid science, it didn’t matter anymore. My life was starting to change for the better.


My acne had disappeared at the 1 month mark and I’m 99% sure it was directly related to masterbation. If its having a negative impact of my physical appearance then its not a far stretch to assume its also capable of impacting me mentally. This helped to fuel my resolve.


As the months rolled on by, I built my confidence from the ground up. It almost felt like I was rediscovering the person I was meant to be before indulging in self inflicting brain rot that eroded my personality. My social anxiety vanished, while still an introvert at heart. I feel at ease and comfortable in any social setting. My motivation and energy levels are off the scale compared to the Dr.LoveLength of the past.


The discipline I learned from NoFap was easily being channelled into other things, I started working out and maintained a good diet. I shed my scrawny pencil frame and built a body I was more confident in. I stuck to a strict savings plan that allowed me to achieve my dream of travelling around the world. I started dating a girl I would have previously considered myself not worthy of. Any of this seemed a million miles away from where I was at the height of my addiction.


My life began to start when the porn stopped. NoFap won’t fix all your problems at once, but it can give you back the strength and energy you need to fight for a better future for yourself. We were meant for far more than to suffer in our self created prisons. It doesn't have to be that way. It never did.

 

Them days are certainly the worst. The 2 - 4 week mark for me was the worst for urges. sometimes I could hardly think straight and just wanted to pmo to get it off my mind. Everyone finds their own way to ride out the urges. A few of my favourite ones are either going out for a short walk, the fresh air and outside stimulation really helps. Or the good old cold shower for the powerful streak breaker urges.

 

I try to picture the overall mood of a nofap journey like a stock chart thats on an upward trend. Over a larger timescale over the months it looks like its constantly rising but when you make a closer inspection of the days / weeks you can see its a mixuture of volatile drops and rises. I've sure had my spell of bad patches, but they soon pass just fast as the came