35 and Older Accountability Group

Wed morning check

 

It's interesting to note that in the over-sensationalized article that has been used to claim that Ming is good for us, the only group of individuals (out of something like 6 range of frequency groups - none of whom were people abstaining form Ming completely) that had an even slight (and it was slight) statistically relevant claim to being better off as a result of Ming, in terms of less chance of prostate cancer, were medics (yes, all the individuals in the study were medics) who masturbated typically more than about 20 times a week!!! (or something excessive like this - it was definitely a lot more than once a day, I was shocked when I read the paper over a year ago).

Personally, I am amazed that anyone masturbating this much over the long term can even hold down a job, yet alone function as a medic.

I know many so-called experts (including psychologists as well as some medics) like to claim that masturbating is 'good for us'. They even abuse their professional status while claiming this. The National Health Service in my home country (the UK) even now officially supports Ming, as a result of this crap article!

As someone who has now not even had a single voluntary orgasm in 700+ days I do not believe this. My explanation for the masturbation hype is this:

1. Something like >95% of men probably masturbate. I know we don't want to think of our relatives, friends, etc masturbating, but I suspect that many men - even in their later years - are regularly masturbating. The power of the addiction is so great that once you are hooked, you are hooked. As we all know - quitting Ming is very, very difficult. This, of course, includes most male psychologists and medics. It is very telling that in the research I describe above they couldn't even find enough medics who didn't masturbate at all to form a category for comparison. If I recall correctly, the lowest frequency group was something like 1-5 times a month*.

2. Human beings (all of us) HATE to admit they are doing anything wrong. This especially applies to professionals discussing anything relating to their profession.

Putting points 1. and 2. together, and you can see why 'society' likes to tell us Ming is good for us. Society is also, note, quite incorrectly addicted to the opinion of so-called 'professionals' (think back to the 2008 financial crisis - I rest my case on this point).

Well, as a scientist I am not going to try and scientifically refute this, I am not going to abuse my position. But I will say that in my case (n=1):
Ming is definitely bad for me!

(*and this group DIDN'T have the highest rate of prostate cancer buy the way).

 

Congratulations guys!!!! Excellent work.

 

Day 5 check in

 

I have had a bit of a rough day at work. I handled it well, stood up for myself, enforced my boundaries, didn't back down and roll over as I may have done in the past. But confrontations are hard for me. I feel like all the life and energy has been wrung out of me. Now I'm home alone with all kinds of opportunities for mischief, so instead I decided to post here, and give myself a little pat on the back among my friends here. Going to keep on being a GROWN UP by not running home and doing PMO when I had a hard day. So, here's a "high-four" to me with my wolf paws.

 

Thanks. Have to give credit to this site and the people here, especially in this group from way back when I started this journey. I’m not cured, but I’m definitely happier and healthier than I was a year ago!! Thanks guys (and gals).

 

Sorry guys I was on a trip without internet! But I’m back and starting this year clean ! 60 days !

God will be leading my way!

one day at a time!

God bless all of our journeys!

 

@EcoMunchies and @Pirate3819 well done! Keep at it!

@emanuel_free welcome back! We were worried about your absence!

@Wolf2019 this is huge! Sounds like you are effectively confronting your triggers! Stress and conflict are huge PMO triggers for me too. Also, I used to be a stutterer. I don’t normally stutter anymore but I noticed that if I am stressed out or under pressure AND I M or PM my stuttering comes back. How nutty is that? This leads me to think that P and M are false friends - we exploit ourselves when we are vulnerable and leave ourselves even more vulnerable and defenceless .

 

Day 6 check in

 

check in thurs pm

 

Timber, thanks man! New developments today. I dreaded having to deal with that co-worker today and just avoided him, but at the end of the day he came to my office and apologized! Wow. Did not see that coming. This has turned out in a lot of ways to be the most successful inter-personal conflict I've ever had. I think by standing up for myself I established some respect in his eyes. Still feel like I have been run over by a truck, but that apology went a long ways. Thanks for the support!

 

Still haven’t figured out how to have a reset and move on. Day 0 and it’s like Groundhog Day.

Here’s to hope of a new long streak anyway!

 

Reset for me after 12 days. This is near the upper end of my usual range of success of 1-2 weeks. I am not happy about another reset, but in the bigger picture, there have been some extraordinary stressors at home and work over this time and through these days I've successfully managed the stress without PMO. I feel like that's progress. It feels like my capacity to handle stress maturely is increasing. Along with that, over the past couple of months I've just felt like I don't get a lot of enjoyment from PMO. Maybe it's the meds I take, maybe it's aging, but a lot of the pleasure of it is gone and it is just habit and stress relief. Over this latest small streak, I've found that staying busy, especially using an addictive language-learning app, has been helpful. I feel like there is some progress. Maybe I'm just kidding myself. But I think there's something to it.

 

It's important that you don't binge come what may! After two weeks of sexual abstinence(read semen retention) you shall be a different person. Consistency is the key in habit formation!

 

I've decided to reset my goal to overcoming P only, building off of @discovery's advice. I really think I can do this. Divide and conquer!

 

Day 7. Happy to finally get to a 1-week mark again.

Thanks all, this thread is a very good idea as I see a lot of comraderies here.

My personal experience has taught me that mutual support does help a lot in getting rid of any addiction, not just PMO.

 

For the group you gotta keep the counter on for both, but a signature line can work for a P counter. That never worked for me, but it sure did help Discovery.