did you have this epiphany ?

I totally agree. Even in the rare instance that it is a loving, respectful couple, I have denied them their humanity because I'm using them as a mere object! The whole system is so abusive and messed up.

 

You are talking about exact cases (examples you have mentioned) I am talking about statistics.

 

And don’t get me wrong, I have no hate towards women and nobody should, I just don’t believe in feminist movement at all.

 

Do you hate the whole movement or certain parts? Personally I don't think there is inequality now except in the Middle East but women were oppressed in the previous century. Although some Indian women get run over for simply disagreeing with their father or husband and often the men won't get jail time because of lack of evidence. And this happens in western countries.

 

I don’t agree with hatred towards men and statement that ‘women are always put behind’. This movement should be against government laws - like to get better child support from government (like I think in Kuwait, when child is born they open a bank account with a nice sum), not against men and their oppression. We (women and men) need to be together against government laws that make us slaves in this life.
As for relationship between men-women I see two possible ways:
1. partnership, when they are almost completely equal, both work, both parenting 50/50 and so on (like many cases in France for example), but the statistics image I have shown must be corrected by some means
2. Eastern way, when men are providers/protectors and are really ‘man’ of the house and women are parenting, cooking, cleaning and obeying in general.
These two are possible, but I believe in second one, that’s in our nature.

 

To be honest I have never really been that into hard core porn. Mostly pictures of women or what some would call porn subs. I think this is mainly since I’ve been fighting this since I was a kid so I have stayed within more “tame” boundaries even though I wish that I avoided even the more soft core or porn sub genres.

Thats not to say I haven’t seen some hard core stuff that was terrible and questionable. I just don’t feel that I’m to blame for it’s production. The person that makes it is. Now do I wish that people would rise up and destroy the industry? Yes I personally would like that. I think it is a great evil. However I am only taking responsibility for my own actions not others’.

 

Also I think that most of us feel that our learning/growth was stunted because of this. Like for sexual things I still felt like an 8 year old for a long time.

 

Did you read the original publication or did you read a summary written by someone else? I happen to work in the scientific community and am painfully aware of how the media can misrepresent my field.

The study I believe you are referencing was a meta-analysis of neuroimaging studies that found similar neural activation between men and women in response to visual sexual stimuli. A journalist might run with this finding with a headline like: "Men and women respond to visual sexual stimulus in exactly the same way; it's a scientific FACT!". It is in this way that people use science to support their own personal beliefs. However, the subject of sexual attraction goes far beyond neural imaging, as the authors discuss, and the value of meta-analysis is dependent on the quality of the data selection process.

I digress. I am no expert in neurology or biochemistry. To have a strong opinion on a matter like this would require a dive into the literature that I don't have time for. If you are interested, I highly encourage you to read the original publication and the broader literature on this topic and draw your own conclusions.
https://www.pnas.org/content/116/31...tm_content=DesignTAXI&utm_campaign=DesignTAXI

Side note: I found no support for your claim that women are more visual than men. Please link your source, as this statement conflicts strongly with everything I have read on the subject (not to mention the abundance of contrary observational evidence).

 

It's ironic, but you embody the female version of "toxic masculinity". You have bought the "all men are tyrants, all women are victims" narrative hook, line, and sinker. The more you post, the more it becomes clear why you are here. You don't want to help. You said yourself you have never struggled with porn addiction. Are you a psychologist, a men's health expert, a social scientist, an addiction counselor? What experience are you bringing to the table that qualifies you to speak to our sexual motivations and addictions? You are, nonetheless, inserting your personal beliefs (and vendettas) into the recovery process of men who have struggled with porn addiction most of their lives.

Similar to the sexist men you despise - men who have no respect for women, men who mistreat women, men who hate women - you show nothing but contempt for men. NoFap is a movement that the porn industry hates. It is changing the way men view women and helping men reform their lives for the better. And here you are, attacking its members, grouping us in with the worst of the abusers. Wake up! Your hatred and bias is part of the problem, not part of the solution.

The way forward is for men and women to work together. There is extremism and toxicity on both sides - let's find the middle.

 

This statement shows a true lack of understanding of porn addiction, cognitive development, and behavioral science. Wow!

 

Sorry I'm late to this thread, back to @shedernatinus's questions ...

I always knew that the porn industry was a nasty misogynistic industry. Sometimes I pretended to think it was OK, but I always knew.

I find it so important to remember this. The porn industry is keen to show us successful actresses who enjoy the choice they made but that is just a sham. I hope for a world where no one sees this as their only 'choice'.

Like others in this thread I hide behind my taste: I always preferred gentle soft porn (preferably girl-on-girl). But you do not have to read many survivor stories (or watch the original 'Hot Girls Wanted' documentary) to see how quickly the industry forces girls through the soft stuff they thought they signed up for and into horrendous demeaning painful stuff.

Strangely it did not. My porn use did make me 'absent' in my marriage, but it was always psychologically important for me to keep porn separate from real life. It was an escape. But this was its own problem, the opinions, feminism, and politics I espoused about women were so far from my secret actions. I am relieved that my hypocrisy is over now.

I am ashamed that I was ever part of the industry as an avid consumer.

My kids are older now, in their mid-twenties. I did not have 'an enlightenment'. The catalyst for me was my wife telling me that she couldn't cope with my porn use anymore, that it had destroyed her self-esteem. That was the push I needed to sort this out.

 

Thanks, exactly

 

No need to go down to name calling, saying that I was always rejected (like you know so) and so on. We are having a discussion, it’s interesting for me to know your point of view, so please show at least some respect
As for my arguments (statistically proven) you call it pseudo-science and that’s ok?