I'm trying to win my ex back - My letter for her

Hi Mj,
First things first, I am just 17 and have a very little idea about what a relationship means. But I am a boyfriend who confessed about my addiction on day 7 of our relationship. True she hated me for some minutes but then as I explained her about how it works the same way as any other addiction and my fight against pmo on nofap she had her trust back on me. So many factors actually worked in my case like I didn't lie and told her truth as soon as I can and secondly I explained her how I mistakenly went inside that shitty addiction during my early teens. So I know you lied her much (it's ok now) ask her to give you just one last chance (you literally need to beg). The letter seems lengthy. Try to meet her that would make a big impact as it would show that you really care. Last but not least, remember what you said and keep all the promises you make to her. Good luck and remember a girl can never be the only reason to live. Make her a part of your life and not your life.

 

Wow i’m learning so much for my future relationship. Thank you!!

Women are so intuitive and naturally good in this regard. So loving and understanding

 

wise words. i agree not to make a woman your entire life before you’re married. Treat her like a queen but also know that you still gotta do you and keep building up yourself and not let her hold you back too much

 

This is so true and a underrated comment. Lot often when you meet someone new all you think about is talking to them and being with them 24/7 from the good mornings to the good nights. When your significant other runs through your mind all day you lose part of yourself and who you are as a person. I was like this in my previous relationships. This deep sense of attachment is a unhealthy way to go about it.

 

Have you gone through your phone and deleted her pics/messages anything else she sent to you? Honestly re-imagining old memories is not going to help move on. I know at the moment you probably don't feel like moving on but you need to take small steps for letting go. You don't need to drown yourself in pain as that's not going to help the situation. You need look after yourself and build yourself back up.Just remember that you being sorrow is not going to win her or any other women back.

 

Not bothering me dude. Just trying to help anyway I can. I know what you're going through because I have been there. It hurts bud eventually I realized its not worth my suffering

 

I was dumped by girls I was into. I value this experience very much. It tells me that I can survive if I have a breakup with some girl (even very beautiful and intelligent, doesn’t matter). What matters is your actions during relationship and after breakup, because later either you will be proud of yourself, either not so much. Women are not ours (especially nowadays), they don’t belong to men, even if you are married for 50 years and you have say 5 children, she can breakup with you anytime.
On the contrary God will be with you forever and anytime you ask, I think it’s very good that you have started to pray again.
Good luck pal=)

 

Sometimes mistakes are the best teachers, cheer up.
Nofap.com was founded because of a one guy’s mistake (PA), lol.
I wish you to laugh at your situation in some time

 

The flip side to this is you have to be sure, as the addict, that you aren't setting yourself up for failure if you're with somebody that has zero tolerance. Zero tolerance is a motivating factor to get clean, but sometimes it's just too high of a bar to realistically clear without tripping on. I started my journey not really knowing the answer to this. But, if my wife really did have zero tolerance and we had big problems from any small slip, I'm not sure that I would have been able to see our future together.

 

Sure thing, it's completely ok to be sad now, I mean in 1-5 years perspective, for example.

 

I used to be just like you. And I don't mean that in a hurtful way. Just stating that I was the type of guy who sent letters like yours. Figured I would offer my input / advice.

The summer before I started college, I re-connected with my oldest friend. I had known her since I was 5, but we lost touch for years. Immediately we hit things off. I was so in love with her and completely obsessed. We were the exact same person. At least that's what I thought at the time. I'm not going to go into specifics (because it's a long story), but our relationship ended very poorly. She blocked me on all social media, never returned my calls, and refused to acknowledge I existed. I did what you did. Wrote a long letter and shared songs with her. Hell, I even went out of my way to make a video all about our relationship. It was a mistake and just made things worse. This wasn't the only girl I ever word vomited to either.

I was in pain from the break-up for a long time. I felt like life wasn't worth it anymore. I gave up on eating, going to college classes, personal hygiene, etc. It was a bad time in my life. All I wanted to do was win her back or make her regret it all and come back to me...even though she was the reason things ended poorly. If it wasn't for my current fiancée (who was my best friend at that time), I would have never snapped out of it.

Here's another story: My best friend was engaged to this girl for about 2 or 3 years. She was a toxic person and cheated on him constantly. Terrible human being. She ended their relationship, and he is still obsessed with her almost 4 years after. All he does is talk about her, he constantly tags her in things on Facebook, constantly texts or tries to call her, and he even took her and her new boyfriend out to dinner to celebrate her birthday last year. Just pathetic. I have lost all respect for him as a person. I'm not saying you'll ever be like my friend, but he's definitely the most extreme case. He's what happens when a guy can't move past a relationship and refuses to get help.

Obviously my examples had the relationship ending because of the woman's issues. Yours ended because of your problems. The feelings are similar though. I know it hurts like hell right now, but the sooner you realize that your relationship is over, the better. I'm not saying she won't come back one day, but you need to focus on yourself and not her now. Sounds like you're starting to do that, but you need to let go of the "she'll regret leaving me" mentality you still have.

Truth is, she probably doesn't regret leaving you. You lied to her and hurt her tremendously. She's the victim, not you. You only see yourself as the victim, because she left you. I don't mean to sound harsh. I get what you're going through, but the past is the past. It's time to live in the present and look toward the future. The sooner you accept that and move on with your life, the better. Definitely do the No Contact thing others have mentioned. Maybe also look into some therapy, self-help books, etc. I believe in you!