help me stop my urges

Try to avoid triggers. If you're watching TV and a commercial comes on that has dancing women, look away from the screen. Avoid the racks of magazines in a book store. Don't stare at women/men if they are attractive to you.

 

There is a bunch of things you can do, like cold showers or push ups. The thing is that with effort you start to associate the urge with doing another useful thing, and in time, every time you get an urge you can redirect that energy into something useful.
In my case, I'm trying for so long to have lucid dreams, so every time I had an urge, fantasice, or look sexually a girl, I perform a discreet reality check (Looking my clock or touching my hands mindfully). For you it could be anything, but it would be wise to do something that you can do everywhere (push ups are not an option if you have an urge in the middle of the street or at your workplace).

Keep pushing, you will eventually make it!

 

What do you mean with "what we dont want"?
If you mean the urges to watch porn or M, try to immediately do any other action that requires your full atention, or leave the place you are currently if there is a chance you can M there.
If you mean fantasicing, about porn or about some girls you are seeing, do not get anxious and focus on the bad feeling about thinking that, just let it pass softly and try to focus on other things. If you are walking in the street and you see some girl and start to fantasicing, try for instance to focus in the tree that is next to you, and count branches or leaves... whatever keeps your mind busy.

Every one of us end developing some mechanism to deal with the urges, you have to find your own. But keep trying, and if you relapse (I hope not) do not be too harsh on yourself and try not to succumb to the chaser effect.

 

There's no easy way my friend.
Go out and take a walk.
Do something u love
Meditate and don't react
It's hard but it's possible

 

Welcome to NoFap @dreamchaser52
It is a big step if you can understand what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear.

I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up.
I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down:

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...out-of-the-autopilot-when-i-get-urges.264231/
I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318
You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:
http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2

I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.
To get more focus and feel happier with life I recommend you to start doing meditation.. I have been using an App called Headspace for the last two months which is great if you have never meditated before. The first 10 sessions are free if you want to give a try. I used to feel a bit depressed or feeling without energy to start new projects in my life, and meditation has helped me a lot with this.

Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take new e-course that Mark Queppet launched in his new website, called: " REFORGED MAN: Quit porn and Master Yourself-Be a Man you Admire", it is the updated version of the e-course he used to have in NoFap Academy. It is not cheap ($200) but it is totally worth it because he gives great toold to fight PMO.You can find it here:
https://courses.universalman.com/courses/reforged-man
You can also join his website called Patreon, where he posts great stuff for free every week, and also you can join the pay area to be part of his weekly video calls where you can chat with them in real life, get coaching and listen to other guys's stories and problems too. You can find it here:
https://www.patreon.com/home
You can also use this Excel table to track your reboot. If you did not watch P or MO'd you leave it in 0 and it will show gree, if you did it you fill in in the column (PMO or MO) with the amount of times, if it was 1 it will show in yellow, 2 or more in red. In the left column you can add how strong the urges were each day.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/uvwg7ot0h69dcyu/Counter template.xlsx?dl=0





Counter template.xlsx
Shared with Dropbox




I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.
Let's keep on fighting

Fercho

 

the impulse does not come from your penis, but from your brain. But never associate something unpleasant or too sweet to your drive ... breathe deeply, walk out into the green if you can.