[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Sorry guys, I let you down, and myself down too. Soon after I posted, I got triggered by a cute lady on the late night news. Can't believe something so dumb could break my streak, and that I couldn't even make a full week.

I think I'm in trouble guys. This last relapse has combined with some other personal problems to put me in that fatalistic mindset which leads to self-destructive behavior. I have to find a way to to stay positive even when everything is screwed up in my life.

This then is my new quest. Not just to do another 90-day nofap challenge, but to build a stronger foundation within myself, and a more resilient outlook on life, so that I can persevere going forward. I will mention any steps I'm taking in future posts here as I try again. Day 0.

 

That sounds like what I’m trying at the moment. Whenever I find that I get an urge to do PM, I treat it as a sign that something is wrong and I try to address that problem, instead of using PM to run away from it. Often the problem is me telling myself I’m a piece of shit, being insecure, afraid, etc. So I try to counter that by taking a break and telling myself that I’m a good person and reminding myself of how grateful I am to have this life and everything in it. Usually, the urge goes away with that. Maybe that’s something for you to try too. It’s not easy and it demands constant attention and vigilance, and I failed at it just 3 days ago. But right now, it’s the only thing I know that really works to make the urges less frequent, less persistent and less enduring.

 

Day 0/90
Start again
I am so easily triggered.
My mind is not strong enough.
I need to focus on God.
Focus on prayer.
And I'm going to write out whatever strategy for me to success.
And on the morning of every day, I'm going to spend some time to think about why am I doing NoFap.

 

Day 13 complete. Going towards day 14.

Only by obliterating the evil thoughts before they are created can we succeed!
Hard mode is the best!
Keep up!

 

Day 0 - relapsed. Need to lock down my smart TV!

 

Day 0/90 No PM
Day 409 at attempting this challenge
Day 140 weight training (M, W, F)
Lifestyle: reduced caffeine, desserts and alcohol
- stuck in a rut of self sabotage which I need to find my way out of

 

About to complete day 28. Tommorow I do day 29

 

I have been having some girl issues. Like I have been talking to this girl for like almost a year. And I have told her multi times that I love her. Even though she used to escape such topics, everytime I brought them up. One day I insisted and she told she wouldnt date me. She was like, according to her test I was like a 6/10. But I told her I don't really care and I kept showing her that I love. We still talk now and are in good terms. But I don't get that love vibe back. Like she doesn't show that affection of love and care back. one time she told me that she wasn't ready for relationships untill marriage and she has never been in one.
On Friday i sent her an audio describing her personalities and traits I liked about her and she said "wow, no one has ever described her like that". But also in the audio I told her to open up some more and share with me everything about her. Which she replied by saying "I want to but doesn't know what to do and what to say." Which i can help her with.
The problem is I over think of her and it distracts me alot. I give her time which she doesn't give back the same way.
I really want to be patient with her untill she realizes that am the one. But it pains alot showing her so much care and she doesn't respond the same way.
Sorry to bother you with this. But any tips for me.
Today I had decided to first leave her and give space as I focus on myself. But now am confused after she replied to my audio yesterday. Cause I sent it on Friday but she didn't reply it. Since she didn't reply it then I decided to give myself space.
Now after seeing her reply yesterday.
Am just confused

 

I am sorry, but I feel like she is not into you. You may end up in one sided relationship.
Feelings don't just change that easily, if she said she ain't into you she may have meant exactly that. Be open bro, love is mutual.Still you never know, All the best kyali wange!

 

1/90.
The challenge is on.

 

Day 10/90

 

23/90

 

Day 0

 

Day 47

 

Day 9/90 check in

 

Day 0/90

 

Day 2 No M,
Day 72 No P

))))))))))))) Yess

 

Day 5

 

Day 14 fine.
Day 15 nearing completion.

 

Day 11/90 -and herein lies the paradox -why is it that, as my mind begins to clear, I feel like I'm actually more prone to relapsing...?