Relapsed again last night. Day 0. Left my phone in my room which obviously was a bad idea. Part of it tho is that I have recently sort of forgotten why I'm in this fight in the first place. Lots of low-grade depressive episodes. I'll do some reading at some point tho, jog my memory, and should be back in the saddle sooner or later.
Day 13/90 No PM Day 422 at attempting this challenge Day 145 weight training (M, W, F) Lifestyle: reduced caffeine, desserts and alcohol
Bro , GOALS are what you need to fight depression , they give your life direction , pick something that scares you , a big goal in something you really want to do . For me it was swimming an ICE MILE , that's a mile in 5 degree water or less . When I started training for it , it took 40% of my thinking off worrying about my alcoholic mum and caring for her , it took the focus off her and redirected it to cold water swimming . It worked wonders for me , now I am training for a very very hilly 200km bike ride , that's what keeps me going Try it and see .
I made it a week then relapsed. I feel like a dumb-ass, but I did realize something important. I don't just have a porn/masturbation addiction, I've got a *fetish* addiction. Actually a few of them, but one in particular is the worst. I have to not only overcome my PMO urges, but in the process I must break my fetishes - they're killing my whole sense of self-esteem and feeling of control over my life. They are acquired fetishes by the way, I did not have them until I had exposed myself to tons of porn over a couple decades. When I've been successful with nofap I have felt them diminish and begin to fade. And when i relapse I'm tempted to "feed" them again and, predictably, they get worse again. I know this sounds dumb but I didn't really see this so clearly until today. Hopefully this new information about myself, and my own personal challenge here will help me develop a smarter and more successful strategy going forward. Day 0.
I m 30. I am tired of compulsive masturbation even though I have a gf now. I have masturbated around 30 times in the last 10 days. This may be due to the fact that I have got plenty of time to do so because of ongoing corona virus lock down. I am suffering from ED as I often fail to get erection while having sex. I don't have any / ambition / goal in my life other than having orgasms. I have got a decent job which pays me well and where work is also not too much. So, I want to get a reboot hoping that I might get some purpose in life.
Day 6 Today, my country Germany put harder restrictions on us citizens. These are tough times, but I won't relapse.
This is what got me last night. My brain starts making up excuses like "What does it matter anyway?" and such, and the rest is predictable from there. I think we need to develop a good counter-strategy for these vulnerable moods. Like instead of just giving into the defeatist mindset, maybe reply with practical affirmations like "I don't have to let this rough patch deter me from my long-term goals, this mood will pass like it always does."
Day 13 today guys! Two weeks tomorrow. Feeling thankful that I have avoided fantasising on this streak, which is usually a massive precursor to P. Going to try and stay mindful of this so I don't slip into that way of thinking!
Day 40 No PMO day 9 building self confidence. Haven't had any urges during my quarantine and during this insane boredom yet am always on net. Seems I have gained alot of control over my urges.