The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Checking in on day 5. Tomorrow I am an Uruk-Hai.

I feel you. The gym is closed, but do you have a garden you can exercise in?

 

Day 5!

 

day 2

 

Hey my orc friends!
Lets do this together! we should create new club, the little one imagine : u have 4 frriends orcs and we all got day 5 now u have urges but u know that your potential relapse might make we gonna relapse after u so u might find a hidden power to resist the temptation and keep doing

And yes, the feeling of waiting can be very powerful to do wrong things:/

Day 1 startging today

 

Day 2
Need to stay focused. Just not today...

 

224........

 

Day completed well

 

I would have posted "Day 85, etc..." today, but now, very sooooo sadly...


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Day 85 (Once you see the strike-through you know it's bad....)



I feel a little bit dizzy right now.


I just finished using the restroom. Before that, I was feeling very horny. You really do have a sixth sense for these things goodnice....

Out of nowhere.... In the restroom....
I saw the stuff coming out of my _____________....
I was like, 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! PLEASE DON'T TELL ME..... PLEASE DON'T TELL ME!!!'
I later confirmed that it was a relapse. I don't exactly know what caused it, but it was probably because I got so horny and my ________ was in its enlarged state.
The only good news was that I didn't relapse completely, meaning that I didn't let all of the stuff out.



I was so close to day 90, so close to making it to where this would probably be the first journal without a single relapse...
So even if you get horny, it's bad....




Now I understand way more of what @JasonMamoa was talking about on my Reasons for quitting porn journal.

Willpower is temporary, anger is temporary. One day, you'll lose it and you'll need an anchor / another source prepared to fight back with. I have never had another source... That's why I didn't fully understand what he meant. I still don't know a really good source.



I...

F...
A...
I...
L...
E...
D...



Well, lesson learned (partly): Anger and willpower are not the best resources because you'll lose them eventually.

Which means that if they are not the best sources, what are the best sources? I've tried distractions many times and it didn't work.




Imagine you're playing the most addictive video game (a distraction). You stop playing because you feel like you want to get something to eat out of the refrigerator. Then, out of nowhere, you get tons and tons of urges. That's when it can be very hard to control, unless you have reasons to keep fighting this addiction.



I want as many people that like my journal to respond to this specific post. It would really help me if you gave me some (a lot would be better) ideas.


https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/fighting-for-a-new-life.262612/page-9


Challenge to the day I die = Failed


Restarting...


Day 0



Back to being an Orc.

 

Yes, it can also be an chance, I have to find a purpose, otherwise this weeks will be wasted.

 

I still have to go to work every day, so this gives my day at least a bit of a structure. Now I have to find a task, that take the rest of the day. Normally I spend most of this time in the gym, and not gonna lie, I made huge progress over the last months.
Now I gained in less than 2 weeks over 5 pounds... That's what I mean with no progress in life, I feel like I'm going backwards.

 

Yeah, but it always took way more discipline to stick to a workout plan than when I go to the gym. I'm this type of man, who want the things seperated. And one way to do that is by location => Office for work, gym for workout, home for relax and stuff. That also why I don't want homeoffice. I always only studied at the university and never at home...
However I'm gonna try some light cardio in the evening, cycling or something. That should help at least a little.

 

Day 22 check-in!

 

Back to the orc cave. I’m having a lot of trouble getting past a week lately. Need to get focused again.

 

Day 2