Masturbating once is not a "relapse" it's a "reset" - Risky/excessive masturbation can be a relapse.

Fuck , I didn't know about that e sim stuff , that stuff working on the developing mind is not good

 

Had I not found NoFap, e-stim would have been the next step in my escalating fetishes. I was already researching them at the time. Fetishes are hell disguised as bliss. I'm so pleased to be out of them.

 

Sooo if I masturbate little bit but not even close to the point of orgasm ( I don't consider it even edging ) does that count as a reset? If I get hard and i touch it in a jerking way is it considered as reset? What are your thoughts on this because I'm scared that I accidentally reseted...

 

Don't be confused between a reset and a relapse. They're not the same thing. (See my signature if you want to learn.)

If you started unconsciously to masturbate without porn, and stopped as soon as you realised what you were doing, I'd give that a pass, as long as you don't keep on doing it. I would say, don't reset your counter. It's probably not a relapse, or maybe a small one.

However, if you masturbated deliberately (but without porn), I would say reset because it invalidated your goal. Again, it's probably not a relapse, or maybe a small one.

But, if you used porn, even a little, it is most definitely both a relapse and a reset. Porn is the daddy monster.

 

Okay thank you for your answer!

 

Thanks for this thread. Really useful info. Keep up the good work!

 

Suppose an element of your NoFap goal was to tone done your lust for a particular kind of fetish. Would M while thinking of that fetish but without watching P be considered a full relapse, or just a reset?

I'm asking out of curiosity. I am not resetting until my sexual desires return to normal and healthy ones before the genie comes out of this bottle again.

 

Doing this affects your brain at a physical level. So, definitely a relapse, but probably not a full relapse.

 

Appreciate the clarification. Thanks!

 

Just to be clear...by masturbation you mean masturbating to orgasm. Or do you mean just masturbating = playing around and reaching orgasm?

 

Also I have one more question.
I dont have problem to stop watching porn. But during my journey I did a bit of edging = masturbation without orgasm and while masturbating I imagined all the porn stuff (because I have pretty good imagination skills). Is it fine or should I just reset my day counter?

 

Reset it, no harm in being completely faithful to your purpose of letting go of these bad things.

 

ok thx
And what about edging? Is it considered relapse or when you dont reach orgasm its fine? I would like to know this. Because tbh I barely survive a day without edging.

 

Edging is much worse than completing to orgasm, because of what it does to your brain. If you start to masturbate, it's best to finish it.

Don't use porn, whatever you do!

Do your best to stay away from using your imagination (although it's not as bad as porn). When you start thinking those thoughts, move to different thoughts, e.g. do a puzzle.

 

I agree with Mordobarn: I think edging is a lot worse for your brain than MO'ing. I'm not quite sure on the biology (I tried looking it up but couldn't quickly find it, and I don't fancy spending too much time on a Wikipedia page that includes info about the female orgasm ), but I think that when edging you're on a dopamine high, and this is really addictive. When you have orgasm the rush usually subsides within seconds (for me at least), and you can think clearly again. There's a reason we try to delay orgasm while masturbating.
But I'm not sure about the "If you start to masturbate, it's best to finish it": I get the thought behind it, but I am afraid it might make you think too easily "Oops I masturbated, now I should MO ", and I think that's unwise. If you can recognise yourself masturbating and stop pronto, being determined not to continue your masturbation, I think that's a lot better than continuing to orgasm. However, if after stopping you just keep starting again for the rest of the day, it could be worth it to just relapse so you can think clearly again.
This is just my experience, of course, but I think there's some truth in it.

 

@Mordobarn @Dizzy Lotus
Thank you guys!

I understand it pretty clearly now. If I slip into edging I will try to knock it off ASAP. But if I keep slipping into it for the rest of the day, I will finish it off to orgasm

When I think about it know. For me its basically once I start I cant quit edging. So its like maybe 3times within hour and thats just not the way to go ->I loose more time and essentially its worse than classic MO

 

I saw some comments talking about "masturbating without fantasizing."

What does it mean? How some person can masturbate and not think anything arousing at the same time?

I ask this because I don't know, I was always thinking about something arousing very since day one.

 

That reminds me of someone on a forum for people with overeating problems. The thread was talking about what to do instead of eating when you feel bad, and the poster asked, "But what else can you do when you feel bad?" It was the false belief that eating, and only eating, is the solution to any problem.

It's not quite the same as what you're asking, but it's similar. You have a false belief that you cannot masturbate without some sort of mental stimulus. That's unsurprising, considering that you are addicted to porn (I also used to feel the same).

Someone else on this forum has the false belief that he cannot watch porn if he cannot masturbate, and so considered purchasing a chastity device. While wearing the device, his logic went, he can't watch porn because he can't get hard.

I started masturbating at around the age of 6 (I think). I certainly didn't know about sex back then, and I didn't need fantasy or porn (porn was unavailable and unknown to me). All that your penis needs is physical stimulation. No fantasy or porn is required…

… unless you have PIED. In that case, you can't get it hard without mental stimulus. That's OK, because it means that you can measure your progress during your hard reboot. When it starts to get hard again without any stimulus, you are well on your way to healing.

 

You can read more about it on YBOP.

 

Wondering if you could give me some guidance on something pertaining to what you said about stimulus and healing there, bud. I have a girlfriend but she lives quite far away from me. The quarantine situation ensures that we will not be able to see each other again for some time. I have noticed that my urges and fantasies are growing more and more to be about her than anything or anyone else. I am happy to say this is happening even though I am only 5 days off of PMO. I consider masturbating with her as the stimuli, through my imagination as well as conversations and pictures we exchange, as not a problem in and of itself. It is not reliant on porn in any way.

Do you agree with that assessment and, if so, how many days do you think I should go without MO before I start doing it with her stimulation?