Accountability for All

Day 1, I'm ready for this and I'm sure that I can come to here everyday!

 

Good luck peskin. The time I save from not fapping I will play badminton

 

I do know about MGTOW and I understand why it exists. I know that there's a vocal part of the community that just hates women and I get that but having your life centered around hate is only going to cause trouble. I'm aware that the main principle is to celebrate yourself and developing your own life. Now that I think about it I've been doing the MGTOW thing unintentionally since I was around 19 which was when my last "relationship" ended.

 

Day 21 today.

 

Day 2. Everytime I want to quit, I think of you as my solid comrades

 

Day 22. Big river rolls on, on and on and on.- Dougie Maclean

 

Starting day 8. I feel sooo mad sometimes. I get angry for little things like my family asking me for help (like, why would I be angry for that???). I play internet games and I'm yelling to people who don't cooperate. I think that for me, the effect of this abstinence is lack of patience and toleration.
On the positive side, I feel more confident, with more self-control, then I can study for more time without getting bored! I'm starting to feel love and compassion again (and therefore, guilt when I hurt somebody because of this abstinence).

 

I relasped again...

 

Day 77

I was just doing a bit of research into why P addiction happens to people in hopes that I could see something that can help myself and maybe some others too. Here's what I found.
You guys might already know but a key aspect that P addiction can happen is the lack of power in someone's life. I 100% can relate to that. After some thought, I realized some stuff in my life that drew me to this dark path.
1. An abusive farther
2. I'm the youngest in my family and I often don't get taken seriously
3. Excessive bullying in school which often made me feel unwanted
4. I asked a girl out when I was around 11 which was when I got into P and I got rejected. The whole school knew and I got bullied for it.
5. Insecure about my body. I'm very lanky and again I was made fun of for it.
6. Abandonment of friends. A lot of people I got on well with in life end up leaving and I would never know why. In some cases when a friend gets into a relationship they don't talk to me till their relationship ends. It makes me think that they think I'm unworthy because I can't get into a relationship.
7. Also in school, I often got told by teachers that I was useless and "won't amount to anything" this changed when I got into college (British college is different, it's kinda like the last few years of high school)
8. Before the lockdown, I was constantly rejected by jobs which made me think that no one wanted me.

All this tied to shame which put me on this path. I really want to stop so that my life can get better.

EDIT:
I should have mentioned this earlier. With the lack of power, you search for it in other ways which many of us go to P. P gives us the illusion of someone being submissive to us. To let us do what we want. Could the work the other way around? Probably. If so then let me know. Thanks for reading.

 

Back to day one. I relapsed early this morning with MO. Dang it.

 

I'm in the exact same boat, relapsed after 21 days. Even though I have an AP I will try to post here daily.

 

It’s hard, starting to build something up and then failing. Somehow I feel optimistic though, like all the progress was not lost.

 

Reset. I M. without P. I don't know, I just woke up in the middle of night doing M. without noticing it after like 15 seconds, then I felt nothing but after like 3 or 4 minutes I got an O.
I feel somewhat bad but I feel I'm getting better, I would be starting day 11. It's better than mi 4-6 days average. This forum is helping me a lot, thanks guys! Let's do this better!

 

Day two the weary day trudges onward.

 

I've noticed this, too. The longer your streak goes on, a relapse doesn't affect you as much. I'm not saying that relapse is fine. The negative effects are still tangible. I never want to relapse again. I'm pointing out a benefit of a long streak of nofap. Take care everyone

 

Relapsing Again and Again but now this time I will be a free man.
Day 1 completed back to the track

 

Day 10 I feel sad, but I don't know the reason.

 

Good Morning Day 2 started