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I relapsed on purpose and now I feel numb.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Gremlin3, May 5, 2020.

  1. May 5, 2020 #1
    Gremlin3

    Gremlin3 Fapstronaut

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    I have been trying nofap for about a year and a half and my longest streak is 39 days.

    Last week I fapped twice in one night because I was angry that I couldnt get erect during my first fap. And I felt like I need to have a "normal" fap before I could restart.

    This night I fapped to Youtube try on haul videos and I feel completely numb right now

    If you are someone who has been doing this for awhile and then fell of the wagon HARD like I did in March, I would NOT recommend "building up." Where you set yourself arbitrary goals and then fap after 21 days or whatever. Don't do that.

    Have any of you ever relapsed on purpose and then gone on a really long streak or quit forever?

    I just want so badly to be there for my parents and my friends but am worried I wont be able to shake the feelings of shame this time.
     
    Gremlin3, May 5, 2020
    Gremlin3, May 5, 2020
    #1
    palindromo likes this.
  2. May 5, 2020 #2
    Avenger 2.0

    Avenger 2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Well I don't think it's a good idea. Relapsing on purpose. You know you've been in the influence of this habit in such a way that your brain looks for 'excuses' to fap. I mean this never really happens that "This is the last time. Now I'll never relapse again." You may eventually relapse. What we don't understand is that we still have a chance to continue, but we get so obsessed that we don't. I've personally had these thoughts earlier, but then I realized that this I why I relapse the most. I never had good streaks by relapsing on purpose. As long as you keep this mindset, your brain will always feel you have a chance even if you relapse. And this keeps on happening. Whenever I relapsed after a good streak I binge. Never do it. This is how our brain tricks us to get it's shot of dopamine. Either now or never.
     
    Last edited: May 5, 2020
    Avenger 2.0, May 5, 2020
    Avenger 2.0, May 5, 2020
    #2
    Shadow™輝ツ likes this.
  3. May 5, 2020 #3
    Avenger 2.0

    Avenger 2.0 Fapstronaut

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    I recommend you to read these books:
    The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy
    Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
    Awaken The Giant Within by Tony Robbins
    These books helped me a lot.
     
    Avenger 2.0, May 5, 2020
    Avenger 2.0, May 5, 2020
    #3
  4. May 5, 2020 #4
    Gremlin3

    Gremlin3 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah you are right, it wasn't a good idea. Not only did i have really strong chaser effects afterwards but you also don't know what you are going to have to deal with the next day and should always be prepared. I know from my experience today
     
    Gremlin3, May 5, 2020
    Gremlin3, May 5, 2020
    #4
    Avenger 2.0 likes this.

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