Noticing A Trend

On the topic of productivity, I have been analyzing a trend as of recent. I am caught in a cycle where I jack off by means of procrastination. It is a vicious cycle as I do it by dint of not addressing the big task at hand which only gets bigger the more I put it off. This makes me work past my bedtime and I have two options; either I wake up early in the morning to boost productivity at the expense of some required sleep hours which end up coming back to bite me later in the day or I sleep longer to compensate but I end up oversleeping as I am basically programmed to accept or decline my normal wake up call at 6. There is very small room for delay and even then, it is not very efficient to sleep with the intention of waking up <30 mins later. When I choose the latter option, this sows the seeds of the storm that is to follow later in the day. Sleeping after the body-coded wake up call often makes me lose discipline when sleeping. The two things I decide that I must shelve before I sleep are sexual thoughts about girls and the craving to shift around when I sleep. It is easy to overcome those in the early stages of sleep and then it is like the day is auto saved in your life game and you start the next day. If I sleep after my wake up call, this is where the discipline is broken. I start arousing myself by sleeping on my stomach and let those sexual thoughts flood my mind. Most of them involve ones I know in real life. This causes me to prolong my slumber further by not wanting to quit my "dream". When I wake up, those are prime hours wasted for school work. During this lockdown, I have a schedule that I use for my day. From 6-12, that time is used to intensely attack homework. From 12:00-16:00, I use that time more liberally for leisure and to take out less intense homework. From 16:00 to 22:00, I use that time to work on personal projects and affairs. I should not be doing intense homework after 12:00 because I am like a tank bogged down in mud. That is when the procrasturbation hits if I keep doing schoolwork and don't take a break. This breaks my strategy for the day. Rinse, Repeat. This is why I need to go to bed at 22:00. I should not be seeing the next day without a save. This needs to be done to instill discipline. We need discipline to conduct a NoFap lifestyle.

 

Thik hai.

But locking the door is not the problem for me. Back in my old basement house, I had a door with a lock and I would lock it and watch porn and my excuse that I made up was that my brother comes and annoys me. But in my current house, there are no locks on bedroom doors. I leave it open but for another reason that defeats the purpose. I have developed a sharp sense of hearing anyone walking up the stairs or coming towards my room. If I close it, I am ironically more vulnerable to getting caught because the sound waves will be limited in their journey. Whether the door remains open or closed is a non-factor. It is very astonishing to see a new skill developed because of my addiction. I try to avoid doing it when someone is on the same floor as me but when my mom goes to the other bedroom on the floor for an afternoon nap, I deliberately close her door because I can hear it as an alarm when she wakes up and opens it and will alert me to shut down everything. I go to great lengths to make sure that the risk of being walked in on is eliminated.

 

I have came up up with a strategy that combats against this. An erection requires blood to pump up. I get down on the floor and do some ab exercise so the blood flow can be diverted. I get ripped and stave off urges. Win-Win situation.