Withdrawals from Trans and porn

Hi, I’m really struggling with the withdrawals at the moment( I’m on day 23 not sure how to restart the day counter) All the little things people have said to me over the years that have upset me all seem to be coming to the surface. My addiction has probably stemmed from drug induced mental health Psychosis, learning difficulties, strict parenting, massive grief, bullying. I’m feeling stressed, paranoid, unconfident. But I’m prepared to keep pushing though. I’ve been battling my addiction for 5 years had numerous counsellors. But have only made it to 53 days before hard mode. I’ve escalated from porn to prostitutes to escorts, S and M and then trans escorts and transwoman porn. The later have really messed with my mind and self esteem. My last few acting out experiences with TS’s have been really off putting which is worth remembering and I couldnt go through with the act really other than having oral and pretending it was a chic. I’m obviously in the flatline now and realise I’m going to have good days and bad days but it would be nice to hear people’s recovery stories and how long it took them to get out of this horrible mess with trans fetish. thanks

 

Thank you I will give it a read I hope your husband recovers quickly

 

There's a reason your mind took that track. Discovery of what lead you there is important in recovery.[/QUOTE]
Thanks, I think I wanted an escape from pain. And the intensity of that dark horrible world would distract me from it.

 

Thanks guys. I had a massive victory yesterday. I had a job I was working on printing and the computer was messing up. it had been going on for a few days I was trying to keep patient and find a solution. It finally decided that it wasn’t working at all and it was so frustrating. I’m not the best with technology and it brings up a lot of anger towards myself for being so f..king useless and stupid. All of a sudden that rush and urge to say get online and start searching for a TS escorts flooded in and hit me like a tonne of bricks. It’s self punishment, self harm and soul destroying. But somehow I managed to grab that little hook that was in my brain and realise I didn’t want to do it, I quickly unhooked it. And contacted a computer repair shop who are coming out to me on Monday. Then I packed up and got out of there. I’m really please this morning