Escort challenge

I knew about Thailand but didn’t know about D.R.

 

Question for the Community, I'm looking for a bit of advice. So me and my Ex have finally broken off all ties with each other around 1 week ago, after 3 months of constant fighting and trying to resolve issues because of me seeing escorts while in our relationship. I've been on the road to recovery for about 2 months now between trying to abstain from PMO/escort sites and seeing escorts. I've put a lot of things in place and I'm finally putting some structure in my life and concentrating on the basic things like sleep,exercise,meditation,diet and hobbies/mastery................But there's still that sense of loneliness and lack of connection with people I'm faced with everyday that really hurts me, especially with lockdown its so hard to connect and socialize.

My question is basically do you think It's a good idea for me to use Tinder at the moment? (purely just to TALK to women and feel connected with people and fill some of that loneliness). I know I can get that connection with friends also, which I've been trying but I don't have a massive social circle but I have been trying to message friends and old friends and skype.......but the loneliness is still there.......I just don't know if its the right time for me to be on Tinder while I've just cut all ties with the Ex, on the road to recovery from PMO/escorts and working on myself, what do you guys think? I mean its just harmless messaging on Tinder and might help fill that loneliness.

Any advice is appreciated!

 

Interesting.......I understand It for sure could be a gateway drug (potential trigger) into acting out on porn. In terms of getting off with the women I'm quite confident I won't because firstly we're in lockdown and its illegal to go more that 2km outside my house and many other reasons. Is using Tinder as a distraction for loneliness that bad an idea for getting over a break up? and when I say purely just to talk to women I mean purely just to talk.

 

I would say that using Tinder as an antidote to loneliness isn't the best way forward. I know that lockdown exacerbates loneliness, which has been recognised as an "epidemic" in today's world, but trying to solve a addiction to prostitutes and porn with Tinder seems like a massively bad idea. After all, the solution to loneliness shouldn't be just women — it should be some sort of community.

There's a hypothesis, with a lot of evidence, that lack of connection is a major factor in all addictions. Therefore, your comments are unsurprising. When the lockdown is over, try to get involved with a charity or a local community volunteer organisation. That sort of thing has tremendous positive effects on loneliness, and you might find that you make friends with like-minded people.

In the meantime, during the lockdown, if you can find an online charity or community organisation to get involved with, even if only temporarily, that would help. I realise that this isn't an easy thing to find.

Good luck

 

I have a question for all of you taking this challenge. A lot of men out there who are afraid of seeing an escort are rightfully so because it's illegal/frowned upon but most importantly its not entirely safe medically.. Didn't any of you at some point contract an STD to make you consider stopping yourself from seeing an escort?

 

That’s something I think about and pray I’m ok. I will be checked soon, local health department are good for getting tested on budget as well as a personal home hiv test kit with your saliva for sale at Walgreens etc. I know I always wore protection except on a couple instances but she wasn’t an escort, that doesn’t mean I couldn’t get it. I wouldn’t take a chance again, even without escort, it’s not safe.

Just because she is pretty doesn’t mean she doesn’t have anything!!!
I did have one condom break on me. Yes I did cum inside her. But thankfully that I didn’t catch anything as I got tested later on. The risk is not worth the pleasure, how would you feel if it broke? I felt like crap.

I hadn’t done it in since end of December so I don’t know the exact time it takes to get a more accurate reading, 3-6 months after contact? But I’m completely over that life and if I do have it, I have to own up to it because I messed up. Life still goes on. Keep living. Keep doing. Everyone who does catch something in this addiction, the good thing is your not likely to die with modern medicine, depending on where your located, but hiv isn’t curable, but it isn’t the 1980’s anymore.
That’s mainly what my mind is thinking about bc at least with other std’s your able to recover, I may be mistaken?
It is very embarrassing, I know. My heart goes out to those who got sucked into this addiction and catch something.

 

Tinder is so easy to get sucked into ogling over other profile pics. You quarantined for 2 km? I’m sorry that sucks. I like some others suggest maybe online church, online communities, I suggest you get yourself together before you look into dating. When you change from this addiction, your not that guy anymore, put him way back, maybe you and your ex can reconnect? But I don’t suggest tinder.

If you can go out more, perhaps when your out try talking then? Keep a distance and be safe. Build your confidence up.

 

Not all STDs are curable, e.g. herpes, which was probably the biggest fear before HIV came around. HIV can take as long as three months, but sometimes much quicker, to show itself in your blood.
For professional advice, refer to your local country's official health service, or ask your doctor.

 

I have same thoughts. I'm only on day 2, and my goal is 6 months. I promise myself if I don't find a woman that I will reward myself with an escort.

 

Thanks for that, that makes sense, bc often I would be in fear of being arrested but heck when I was in the addiction cycle I would still do it anyways! It shows how bad these addictions become. When you start putting other priorities behind, like your work, your relationship, God, health, on and on. When you see these things happening and you can’t stop, that’s a sign your addicted.

 

Oof! No, don't do that! There is no comparison between having an prostitute and having a woman who likes you for who you are. The former is like porn on steroids — a prostitute isn't a reward, any more than taking a shot of heroin is a reward.

Finding a woman isn't like ordering someone online. You need to keep your eyes open, and be a man who is always improving and doing your best, so that you can find a woman who is attracted to you. Remember that a prostitute will pretend to like you, but she knows how to press all your addictive buttons. You'll think that you love it at first, and only later realise that you're now addicted, and a "normal" woman can't satisfy you.

An escort is there for sex, and sex only. A woman who is there for you is there for you, and sex is the icing on the cake.

 

Exactly! it’s just a transactional agreement. Escorts is money for sex, or their time or whatever, and it usually ends in sex, escorts are prostitutes in my eyes. I have a lot of love to give. I couldn’t get love from an escort. I’ve tried many times but it doesn’t work. Or friendship, gosh that doesn’t work either. It’s a very weird relationship and it’s so unhealthy and unnatural.

I’d never feel comfortable being in public with this stranger I just met and I’m here to do this bad deed. And how much time do you want? Real people don’t ask you this.

 

I thought that "escort" was just a euphemism for "prostitute". Am I wrong?

No, it can't work. A prostitute doesn't love her punters; she scorns them as weak, despises them for taking advantage of her financial poverty, and therefore cannot possibly respect them. How could you be a friend or lover (in the true sense of the word) of someone you scorn, despise and disrespect?

I have an acquaintance who fools himself that he can tell the difference between a prostitute who is genuinely enjoying her encounters with him, and those who don't. He justifies his use of them that way. He forgets that many people — prostitutes included — can fake sincerity, especially to a horny and desperate man.

 

Well, man guys I got to fess up. I just blew my streak I just m’d. I was good for 5 months. I just wanna not get to down on myself and go back to what I was doing. I don’t wanna go on a binge. I just was down and stressed and been watching lots of crap on YouTube not porn but it could in a way substitute I suppose. I feel I let myself down and the therapist I hadn’t seen in a few months. I for. Want to see this turn into a binge but I’m sorry guys I f’ed up time to get back up again. I feel bad bc of this girl I like and I didn’t do it thinking of her or anyone but still just feel down a little

 

I need to make myself accountable bc this isn’t good.