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PIED cured after 8 months!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by winningover, Dec 28, 2019.

Tags:

Page 7 of 11

May 18, 2020 #121

Deleted Account Guest
winningover said: ↑

My dear friends and brothers here. I always wondered if there will ever come a day where I will be posting under the "success stories" forum. The day has come and I can't believe it. This is my first post under "success stories" forum. 2019 was by far the most difficult year of my life and one of the very few things that gave me hope during this year was success stories I read here. So, I hope someone some day reading this will also get the required force and motivation to get out of the horrible web of porn.

My brief history

I am 30 years old and started on porn at about age 15. As far as I remember, I started on high speed porn at about the age of 17. This means that I have been an addict for at least 12 years if you only count my PMO years on high speed internet porn. On average, I used to PMO for about 3-5 times a week, sometimes less sometimes more but never more than once in a single day.

Why I Started NoFap

I started only and only because of PIED. I seemingly had no other issues with porn. I was quite successful in studies during younger years and I have been quite successful in other areas of life as well after completing my studies. I used the word "seemingly" because now I have realized that porn was definitely affecting me in other areas of life without my realization. And I feel that more benefits are yet to come as I recover my brain and body from porn. I have read many accounts of long rebooters in which they saw improvements in their mind, bodies and overall life for upto two years after leaving porn.

How my Journey started

I got married at the end of 2018. I was very much physically attracted to my wife and was looking forward to having abundant sex. Then came the first night and as you can already guess, I got no response from my buddy down there. That was quite shocking to me considering how horny I was in my mind about our marriage and finally getting the chance to have real physical sex with the girl I love. I thought that maybe anxiety or over excitement got to me and thus no response from my body. I definitely knew that I was not anxious or nervous at all but still your mind brings up some kind of justification to let it go. Then we went to honeymoon for 2 weeks and still my penis wouldn't respond to advancements from my wife at all. 2 months passed and still no intercourse. I didn't PMO in these 2 months as well because I had decided to leave porn once I get married. At that time, I didn't know the damages of porn or whether porn could be addiction. I just had decided that I should not be dependent upon pixels once I have a real physical girl with me. Since I didn't watch Porn or PMO in the first 2 months after marriage, I had unconsciously started my detox as well. I wish the recovery from PMO addiction could be that quick. So what happened after 2 months is that my body went into flatline. Not knowing at all, what is happening to my mind and body, I rushed to porn to check whether my system is still working. It was working indeed. I got erection from porn, could keep erection for long, had an orgasm. Everything was just like old times except that now my wife was sleeping alone in the other room at 2am in the night without getting the physical connection she was supposed to get from her husband and everything that comes with it. My guilt was high but my mind kept telling me that its not my fault. In the third and fourth month of my marriage, my PMO sessions frequency was back to where it was before I got married. I buried the guilt of not having any sex at all with my wife for this much time and tried to go through my life normally. Despite no sex, our relationship went along. My wife was understanding and we both thought that my body need some time etc.

At the end of fourth month, my wife asked me that I should visit a doctor regarding this. This came as a total shock to me since it was clear that my wife is saying to me that there something physically wrong with me that needs to be sorted out. She was right but I tried my best to convince her that there is nothing wrong and she has seen that I get erections when I am asleep and able to orgasm through her hands. This indeed turned to be a moment of change because after that long discussion with my wife, I googled, "Able to get erection with porn but unable to get it with a real physical girl". The results that came through literally changed my life. In the following week, I read hundreds of accounts of different people on this website and others regarding PIED, porn addiction, brain rewiring, reboot, science behind this and what not. I let a HUGE sigh of relief, explained my wife the whole thing. Thankfully, she was really helpful and did her part of research as well regarding this and kept giving me new information here and there.

The REBOOT

And now the real battle begins. I officially started my reboot on 30-Apr-2019. My reboot was "No Porn and No Masturbation". We decided that we will continue the orgasm part through my wife giving handjob since orgasm itself is not the issue but Porn is. I had no idea what I signed up for until withdrawals hit me. In the first one to two months, I went through what they call acute withdrawals which hit you immediately. They were random body pains, stomach pain, insomnia, cravings etc. The most difficult part is Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome or PAWS. They are psychological in nature and start after about 30-60 days. I am still going through PAWS as I write these words right now after 8 months. From what I have read, PAWS may continue for upto 2 years depending upon the severity of your addiction. I think PAWS are the most difficult obstacle in this journey and perhaps one of the biggest reason for relapse. Since they are psychological in nature, your life literally goes upside down. My PAWS include social anxiety, general anxiety, panic attacks for no reason, taking high stress for a very small thing, brain fog etc. As I said above, I am still going through PAWS and will write a separate post on PAWS. People and youtubers don't talk much about PAWS because people don't want to hear about it. The 90 day reboot is not true at all as well for people like me who started on high speed internet porn at young age without any prior real sex experience. And the latest research on yourbrainonporn and long term rebooters have confirmed this. 90 day period "may" be true for people who started on high speed porn at a later stage in their life when their brain and body knew what real sex and real girl is. Sadly, the 90 day period does NOT apply to us AT ALL.

My PAWS went really bad after about 4 months into reboot. I don't have words to depict what I went through because of my PAWS. Whether it is my work, or meeting with family/friends, you name it. It was a living HELL. My PAWS only starting getting better into my 7th month. Keyword here is better. People need to be aware what is coming at them so that they try to get themselves ready as much as possible.

After about six months into reboot (10 months into marriage), we tried to have intercourse but no success. I started getting some response from my penis but never strong enough and long enough for a successful intercourse. After this, I asked my wife to not give me handjob as well. I decided to go hardmode from here onwards i.e. No porn, No masturbation and No Orgasm.

SUCCESS!

So guys and girls, after 2 months of hardmode and a total of 8 months reboot, I was able to have first intercourse of my life about 2 nights ago. In last 36 hours alone, I have had four intercourse with my wife. My penis gets erect very easily now and with full strength and I am also able to easily maintain my erection throughout the intercourse. This is literally a dream come true for me after a very very long 1 Year. Guys, we have literally destroyed ourselves, our bodies, our minds with this crap. Just imagine the agony of not being able to have sex for 1 year with the girl you love, you married and saw all those dreams with. I cannot even imagine going back to this toxic crap. And after you start having real sex, you can see how different and opposite porn is as compared to real sex. Porn creates a void in your soul, leaves your mind empty just craving for more. Sex is fulfilling and what our body and mind are designed for. I can just go on and on as to how much porn destroys you without your knowledge. And it is coming from a person who had no issues with porn at all before marriage. If it wasn't for PIED, my relationship with porn would have never ended. I NEVER thought that just seeing something could be an addiction and could have such horrible effects on your mind and body. Thankfully, my wife was very understanding, helpful and patient. A normal girl would have left me a long time ago. Abstinence from Porn needs to be your life style, PERIOD! I am not against counting days as it can be very helpful for some keeping track of their success in the beginning. But in the long term, porn doesn't exist for you.

Some Tips & Tricks

Realize how harmful porn addiction is and what you're doing to yourself. Realize that by leaving porn, you aren't missing out on anything fun/good/exciting. Reading all the research, reboot accounts, nofap youtube channels and books in this regard is really helpful. I am attaching a book which I found really helpful.

Leaving porn doesn't only mean that you stop watching that particular content on screen. It means that you stop thinking about porn, stop imagining it, stop playing those scenes in your mind, stop imagining it when you orgasm or masturbate without porn. Even when you imagine or recreate scenes from porn in your mind, for brain, its like you are watching porn. You are only going to prolong your reboot further by doing this. I read this somewhere and I feel it really sped up the rebooting process for me in last 3 months. I know this is really tough in the beginning but with practice and time, it will get easier.

Be very careful about the stuff you watch especially during your reboot. In real life or otherwise. The hot photos on social media, insta, facebook, random websites. The content you watch on tv, movies, seasons and what not. Stop watching anything that may act as a trigger for you. Besides trigger, this will also make your reboot longer and painful. After your successful reboot, you need to make it a lifestyle. Watching random hot bikini babes on pixels is doing no good to your mind.

Find hobbies. Believe me, the extra time and energy you get after leaving this crap, needs to be put into something useful very quickly. Whether it is hitting the gym you have been procrastinating for years, or seeking a real life girl, or improving your skills in some areas or reading a book or meditation. Whatever it is, it needs to start asap after you start your reboot.

Learn about withdrawals esp PAWS and how to go through them. Get ready to go through a difficult phase during reboot but KNOW what lies ahead. KNOW that it is temporary and a much better life awaits you on the other end. The longer you delay your reboot process, the lesser the quality of life will be and eventually the more painful the reboot process. This is emergency. Whoever and wherever you are, you have got to start your journey NOW.

I have also gotten very close to GOD during this time so this point is for those who believe there is a Creator out there who made us and everything. Get close to God. For Muslim Fapstronauts, start reading and understanding Quran immediately. The code to success has already been given by our Creator. Start praying 5 times a day to begin with. For all others, get close to God, speak to God who is in your heart all the time. I know if you truly approach Him, your journey will become easier.

Ending Remarks

I hope my above post may help someone out there trying to get out of this vicious porn trap. Just don't get disheartened if your reboot is taking a long time. I got really down after 7 months into my reboot when I was still not recovered from PIED and PAWS were killing me. Just then I read some of the accounts here:

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/por...-erectile-dysfunction-is-taking-way-too-long/

And it gave me motivation to push on. And now fast forward 30 days and I have recovered from PIED for life. FOREVER. Just imagine if I had given up at that time and stopped believing or relapsed???? I can't even begin to imagine how lost I would have been then. Just know and realize that this is the only way forward. Besides PIED, porn is also a major reason of depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, anhedonia or other brain related conditions in our generation. You only get to know the difference when you throw this poison out of your body, brain, soul and life for forever! May God bless you all.
Click to expand...

Fantastic job man! This is a very inspiring story. It gave me the motivation boost I needed. Plus, it feels good to see another muslim Fapstronaut. Again congratulations brother!
Deleted Account, May 18, 2020

Deleted Account, May 18, 2020

#121

Deleted Account, Ὀρφεύς and Stp890 like this.
May 18, 2020 #122

Stp890 Fapstronaut

173

2,156

123

Raaah_93 said: ↑

, it feels good to see another muslim Fapstronaut.
Click to expand...

I like it,happy to see muslims too!!

Stp890, May 18, 2020

Stp890, May 18, 2020

#122

Deleted Account and Ὀρφεύς like this.
May 19, 2020 #123

Windkick Fapstronaut

168

95

28

Took me the same amount of time to recover from PIED, 8 months. Now, the rest of the benefits seem to be starting to show their face since the PIED is mostly out of the way.

Glad to hear you've cured yourself.

Windkick, May 19, 2020

Windkick, May 19, 2020

#123

M Eezy, Stp890, (deleted member) and 1 other person like this.
May 20, 2020 #124

winningover Fapstronaut

255

819

93

Windkick said: ↑

Took me the same amount of time to recover from PIED, 8 months. Now, the rest of the benefits seem to be starting to show their face since the PIED is mostly out of the way.

Glad to hear you've cured yourself.
Click to expand...

I am still waiting for rest of the benefits to come esp recovery from PAWS. Did you relapse after 8 months? Your badge says 34 days. Also, did you go through long withdrawals?

winningover, May 20, 2020

winningover, May 20, 2020

#124

RockyRocky, Ὀρφεύς and Stp890 like this.
May 20, 2020 #125

Deleted Account Guest

Windkick said: ↑

Took me the same amount of time to recover from PIED, 8 months. Now, the rest of the benefits seem to be starting to show their face since the PIED is mostly out of the way.

Glad to hear you've cured yourself.
Click to expand...

Did u do hardmode all of those 8 months?

Deleted Account, May 20, 2020

Deleted Account, May 20, 2020

#125

Ὀρφεύς likes this.
May 20, 2020 #126

Deleted Account Guest

I tried going hardmode like you Winningover and made it to 70 days hardmode and I thought my pied was cured but then one orgasm sent me back into the flatline. Did u ever feel this when rebooting??

Deleted Account, May 20, 2020

Deleted Account, May 20, 2020

#126

RockyRocky and Ὀρφεύς like this.
May 21, 2020 #127

Musta Fapstronaut

782

782

93

My Journal

winningover said: ↑

Just imagine if I had given up at that time and stopped believing or relapsed????
Click to expand...

This is what's preventing me from slipping. I have gone through this scenario too many times to understand the consequences of what I'm about to do.

Thank you for taking the time to write it all down. Wish you the best in your marriage and life. God bless you brother.

Musta, May 21, 2020

Musta, May 21, 2020

#127

RockyRocky and Ὀρφεύς like this.
May 24, 2020 #128

tokiooo Fapstronaut

9

8

3
winningover said: ↑

My dear friends and brothers here. I always wondered if there will ever come a day where I will be posting under the "success stories" forum. The day has come and I can't believe it. This is my first post under "success stories" forum. 2019 was by far the most difficult year of my life and one of the very few things that gave me hope during this year was success stories I read here. So, I hope someone some day reading this will also get the required force and motivation to get out of the horrible web of porn.

My brief history

I am 30 years old and started on porn at about age 15. As far as I remember, I started on high speed porn at about the age of 17. This means that I have been an addict for at least 12 years if you only count my PMO years on high speed internet porn. On average, I used to PMO for about 3-5 times a week, sometimes less sometimes more but never more than once in a single day.

Why I Started NoFap

I started only and only because of PIED. I seemingly had no other issues with porn. I was quite successful in studies during younger years and I have been quite successful in other areas of life as well after completing my studies. I used the word "seemingly" because now I have realized that porn was definitely affecting me in other areas of life without my realization. And I feel that more benefits are yet to come as I recover my brain and body from porn. I have read many accounts of long rebooters in which they saw improvements in their mind, bodies and overall life for upto two years after leaving porn.

How my Journey started

I got married at the end of 2018. I was very much physically attracted to my wife and was looking forward to having abundant sex. Then came the first night and as you can already guess, I got no response from my buddy down there. That was quite shocking to me considering how horny I was in my mind about our marriage and finally getting the chance to have real physical sex with the girl I love. I thought that maybe anxiety or over excitement got to me and thus no response from my body. I definitely knew that I was not anxious or nervous at all but still your mind brings up some kind of justification to let it go. Then we went to honeymoon for 2 weeks and still my penis wouldn't respond to advancements from my wife at all. 2 months passed and still no intercourse. I didn't PMO in these 2 months as well because I had decided to leave porn once I get married. At that time, I didn't know the damages of porn or whether porn could be addiction. I just had decided that I should not be dependent upon pixels once I have a real physical girl with me. Since I didn't watch Porn or PMO in the first 2 months after marriage, I had unconsciously started my detox as well. I wish the recovery from PMO addiction could be that quick. So what happened after 2 months is that my body went into flatline. Not knowing at all, what is happening to my mind and body, I rushed to porn to check whether my system is still working. It was working indeed. I got erection from porn, could keep erection for long, had an orgasm. Everything was just like old times except that now my wife was sleeping alone in the other room at 2am in the night without getting the physical connection she was supposed to get from her husband and everything that comes with it. My guilt was high but my mind kept telling me that its not my fault. In the third and fourth month of my marriage, my PMO sessions frequency was back to where it was before I got married. I buried the guilt of not having any sex at all with my wife for this much time and tried to go through my life normally. Despite no sex, our relationship went along. My wife was understanding and we both thought that my body need some time etc.

At the end of fourth month, my wife asked me that I should visit a doctor regarding this. This came as a total shock to me since it was clear that my wife is saying to me that there something physically wrong with me that needs to be sorted out. She was right but I tried my best to convince her that there is nothing wrong and she has seen that I get erections when I am asleep and able to orgasm through her hands. This indeed turned to be a moment of change because after that long discussion with my wife, I googled, "Able to get erection with porn but unable to get it with a real physical girl". The results that came through literally changed my life. In the following week, I read hundreds of accounts of different people on this website and others regarding PIED, porn addiction, brain rewiring, reboot, science behind this and what not. I let a HUGE sigh of relief, explained my wife the whole thing. Thankfully, she was really helpful and did her part of research as well regarding this and kept giving me new information here and there.

The REBOOT

And now the real battle begins. I officially started my reboot on 30-Apr-2019. My reboot was "No Porn and No Masturbation". We decided that we will continue the orgasm part through my wife giving handjob since orgasm itself is not the issue but Porn is. I had no idea what I signed up for until withdrawals hit me. In the first one to two months, I went through what they call acute withdrawals which hit you immediately. They were random body pains, stomach pain, insomnia, cravings etc. The most difficult part is Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome or PAWS. They are psychological in nature and start after about 30-60 days. I am still going through PAWS as I write these words right now after 8 months. From what I have read, PAWS may continue for upto 2 years depending upon the severity of your addiction. I think PAWS are the most difficult obstacle in this journey and perhaps one of the biggest reason for relapse. Since they are psychological in nature, your life literally goes upside down. My PAWS include social anxiety, general anxiety, panic attacks for no reason, taking high stress for a very small thing, brain fog etc. As I said above, I am still going through PAWS and will write a separate post on PAWS. People and youtubers don't talk much about PAWS because people don't want to hear about it. The 90 day reboot is not true at all as well for people like me who started on high speed internet porn at young age without any prior real sex experience. And the latest research on yourbrainonporn and long term rebooters have confirmed this. 90 day period "may" be true for people who started on high speed porn at a later stage in their life when their brain and body knew what real sex and real girl is. Sadly, the 90 day period does NOT apply to us AT ALL.

My PAWS went really bad after about 4 months into reboot. I don't have words to depict what I went through because of my PAWS. Whether it is my work, or meeting with family/friends, you name it. It was a living HELL. My PAWS only starting getting better into my 7th month. Keyword here is better. People need to be aware what is coming at them so that they try to get themselves ready as much as possible.

After about six months into reboot (10 months into marriage), we tried to have intercourse but no success. I started getting some response from my penis but never strong enough and long enough for a successful intercourse. After this, I asked my wife to not give me handjob as well. I decided to go hardmode from here onwards i.e. No porn, No masturbation and No Orgasm.

SUCCESS!

So guys and girls, after 2 months of hardmode and a total of 8 months reboot, I was able to have first intercourse of my life about 2 nights ago. In last 36 hours alone, I have had four intercourse with my wife. My penis gets erect very easily now and with full strength and I am also able to easily maintain my erection throughout the intercourse. This is literally a dream come true for me after a very very long 1 Year. Guys, we have literally destroyed ourselves, our bodies, our minds with this crap. Just imagine the agony of not being able to have sex for 1 year with the girl you love, you married and saw all those dreams with. I cannot even imagine going back to this toxic crap. And after you start having real sex, you can see how different and opposite porn is as compared to real sex. Porn creates a void in your soul, leaves your mind empty just craving for more. Sex is fulfilling and what our body and mind are designed for. I can just go on and on as to how much porn destroys you without your knowledge. And it is coming from a person who had no issues with porn at all before marriage. If it wasn't for PIED, my relationship with porn would have never ended. I NEVER thought that just seeing something could be an addiction and could have such horrible effects on your mind and body. Thankfully, my wife was very understanding, helpful and patient. A normal girl would have left me a long time ago. Abstinence from Porn needs to be your life style, PERIOD! I am not against counting days as it can be very helpful for some keeping track of their success in the beginning. But in the long term, porn doesn't exist for you.

Some Tips & Tricks

Realize how harmful porn addiction is and what you're doing to yourself. Realize that by leaving porn, you aren't missing out on anything fun/good/exciting. Reading all the research, reboot accounts, nofap youtube channels and books in this regard is really helpful. I am attaching a book which I found really helpful.

Leaving porn doesn't only mean that you stop watching that particular content on screen. It means that you stop thinking about porn, stop imagining it, stop playing those scenes in your mind, stop imagining it when you orgasm or masturbate without porn. Even when you imagine or recreate scenes from porn in your mind, for brain, its like you are watching porn. You are only going to prolong your reboot further by doing this. I read this somewhere and I feel it really sped up the rebooting process for me in last 3 months. I know this is really tough in the beginning but with practice and time, it will get easier.

Be very careful about the stuff you watch especially during your reboot. In real life or otherwise. The hot photos on social media, insta, facebook, random websites. The content you watch on tv, movies, seasons and what not. Stop watching anything that may act as a trigger for you. Besides trigger, this will also make your reboot longer and painful. After your successful reboot, you need to make it a lifestyle. Watching random hot bikini babes on pixels is doing no good to your mind.

Find hobbies. Believe me, the extra time and energy you get after leaving this crap, needs to be put into something useful very quickly. Whether it is hitting the gym you have been procrastinating for years, or seeking a real life girl, or improving your skills in some areas or reading a book or meditation. Whatever it is, it needs to start asap after you start your reboot.

Learn about withdrawals esp PAWS and how to go through them. Get ready to go through a difficult phase during reboot but KNOW what lies ahead. KNOW that it is temporary and a much better life awaits you on the other end. The longer you delay your reboot process, the lesser the quality of life will be and eventually the more painful the reboot process. This is emergency. Whoever and wherever you are, you have got to start your journey NOW.

I have also gotten very close to GOD during this time so this point is for those who believe there is a Creator out there who made us and everything. Get close to God. For Muslim Fapstronauts, start reading and understanding Quran immediately. The code to success has already been given by our Creator. Start praying 5 times a day to begin with. For all others, get close to God, speak to God who is in your heart all the time. I know if you truly approach Him, your journey will become easier.

Ending Remarks

I hope my above post may help someone out there trying to get out of this vicious porn trap. Just don't get disheartened if your reboot is taking a long time. I got really down after 7 months into my reboot when I was still not recovered from PIED and PAWS were killing me. Just then I read some of the accounts here:

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/por...-erectile-dysfunction-is-taking-way-too-long/

And it gave me motivation to push on. And now fast forward 30 days and I have recovered from PIED for life. FOREVER. Just imagine if I had given up at that time and stopped believing or relapsed???? I can't even begin to imagine how lost I would have been then. Just know and realize that this is the only way forward. Besides PIED, porn is also a major reason of depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, anhedonia or other brain related conditions in our generation. You only get to know the difference when you throw this poison out of your body, brain, soul and life for forever! May God bless you all.
Click to expand...

What to say bro but congratulations and thank you! Your story is a light at the end of a long tunnel when there is no other light for us long rebooters.
Our situations are quite similar, main difference Im older.
Im 7 months porn free, flatlining for the past 70 days and 30 days in hardmode.
Lately I started dreaming again, which was not the case during PMO days. Read somewhere that is a good sign. What was your experience with dreams? Did you also regain dreams during reboot and if yes at what stage?
God bless!
tokiooo, May 24, 2020

tokiooo, May 24, 2020

#128

Ὀρφεύς likes this.
May 24, 2020 #129

Saitama1000 Fapstronaut

43

65

18

My all time favorite post. Happy to know there is an end to this crap. I want to get rid of PMO and all its consequences. I am on my first week and thanks to your message I know what is waiting for me. You gave me a great inspiration to quit and I will keep on the fight. Thanks again.

Saitama1000, May 24, 2020

Saitama1000, May 24, 2020

#129

RockyRocky, Musta and Ὀρφεύς like this.
May 25, 2020 #130

healmyself321 Fapstronaut

184

249

63

Tank you for sharing your story with us and motivating us to keep going.Im glad you made it and came here to help us do the same,keep it up my friend and thank you for saving me from relapsing today!

healmyself321, May 25, 2020

healmyself321, May 25, 2020

#130

RockyRocky and Musta like this.
May 25, 2020 #131

winningover Fapstronaut

255

819

93

Bigdog1776 said: ↑

I tried going hardmode like you Winningover and made it to 70 days hardmode and I thought my pied was cured but then one orgasm sent me back into the flatline. Did u ever feel this when rebooting??
Click to expand...

My reboot was not hard mode. I am doing hard mode now to cure PAWS. So this wasn't my case but many ppl have reported here that they start flatlining or things get worse after orgasm. 70 days is not long enough to start having orgasms. And how did you have orgasm? Did you masturbate?

tokiooo said: ↑

What to say bro but congratulations and thank you! Your story is a light at the end of a long tunnel when there is no other light for us long rebooters.
Our situations are quite similar, main difference Im older.
Im 7 months porn free, flatlining for the past 70 days and 30 days in hardmode.
Lately I started dreaming again, which was not the case during PMO days. Read somewhere that is a good sign. What was your experience with dreams? Did you also regain dreams during reboot and if yes at what stage?
God bless!
Click to expand...

I don't remember much about my dreams tbh. A suggestion that I would like to give you though from what you wrote. Start hardmode asap. Keep the hardmode streak to speed up the process. Stop all orgasms. A mistake which I did was not to do hardmode from the beginning. Also, don't lose hope if it takes longer. As we get closer to success, we lose the initial steam that we had so its very important to keep marching on. Some take 1 year, some 18 months and so on. Varies due to many factors. But don't lose hope in the process.

winningover, May 25, 2020

winningover, May 25, 2020

#131

Stp890 and zeusmx like this.
May 26, 2020 #132

Depressed&Out Fapstronaut

376

248

43

Did you experience a symptom of gaining weight?

Depressed&Out, May 26, 2020

Depressed&Out, May 26, 2020

#132
May 29, 2020 #133

MrAlkali Fapstronaut

92

40

18

in your process (or anyone elses) did you feel loss of attraction

MrAlkali, May 29, 2020

MrAlkali, May 29, 2020

#133
May 29, 2020 #134

MrAlkali Fapstronaut

92

40

18

i mean loss of attraction to your wife, im hoping that is a symptom and not just genuine for my girlfriend

MrAlkali, May 29, 2020

MrAlkali, May 29, 2020

#134
May 29, 2020 #135

winningover Fapstronaut

255

819

93

Depressed&Out said: ↑

Did you experience a symptom of gaining weight?
Click to expand...

Nope

MrAlkali said: ↑

i mean loss of attraction to your wife, im hoping that is a symptom and not just genuine for my girlfriend
Click to expand...

Yes, its normal and bound to happen when you hit flatline. Even the risk of relapse is reduced significantly when you hit flatline.

winningover, May 29, 2020

winningover, May 29, 2020

#135
May 29, 2020 #136

MrAlkali Fapstronaut

92

40

18

winningover said: ↑

Nope

Yes, its normal and bound to happen when you hit flatline. Even the risk of relapse is reduced significantly when you hit flatline.
Click to expand...

i dont think im in flatline yet, i have HOCD and feels very convincing

MrAlkali, May 29, 2020

MrAlkali, May 29, 2020

#136
May 30, 2020 #137

winningover Fapstronaut

255

819

93

MrAlkali said: ↑

i dont think im in flatline yet, i have HOCD and feels very convincing
Click to expand...

Yes, many people here have HOCD because of porn. The science behind it is very simple. When you orgasm while watching porn which obviously include male nudity as well, you develop HOCD. Neurons that fire together wire together. Your brain has associated pleasure, orgasm and sexuality with same gender because of porn and only thing that you can do to recover is abstain from porn for life. There are many ppl here on this forum who overcame HOCD after leaving porn. It may take upto 2 years to recover completely from it.

winningover, May 30, 2020

winningover, May 30, 2020

#137

RockyRocky and Stp890 like this.
May 30, 2020 #138

MrAlkali Fapstronaut

92

40

18

winningover said: ↑

Yes, many people here have HOCD because of porn. The science behind it is very simple. When you orgasm while watching porn which obviously include male nudity as well, you develop HOCD. Neurons that fire together wire together. Your brain has associated pleasure, orgasm and sexuality with same gender because of porn and only thing that you can do to recover is abstain from porn for life. There are many ppl here on this forum who overcame HOCD after leaving porn. It may take upto 2 years to recover completely from it.
Click to expand...

it seems so real though, its so convincing and making me think that i am actually gay and dont love my girlfriend

MrAlkali, May 30, 2020

MrAlkali, May 30, 2020

#138
Jun 1, 2020 #139

Sotomayor20 New Fapstronaut

4

13

3
winningover said: ↑

My dear friends and brothers here. I always wondered if there will ever come a day where I will be posting under the "success stories" forum. The day has come and I can't believe it. This is my first post under "success stories" forum. 2019 was by far the most difficult year of my life and one of the very few things that gave me hope during this year was success stories I read here. So, I hope someone some day reading this will also get the required force and motivation to get out of the horrible web of porn.

My brief history

I am 30 years old and started on porn at about age 15. As far as I remember, I started on high speed porn at about the age of 17. This means that I have been an addict for at least 12 years if you only count my PMO years on high speed internet porn. On average, I used to PMO for about 3-5 times a week, sometimes less sometimes more but never more than once in a single day.

Why I Started NoFap

I started only and only because of PIED. I seemingly had no other issues with porn. I was quite successful in studies during younger years and I have been quite successful in other areas of life as well after completing my studies. I used the word "seemingly" because now I have realized that porn was definitely affecting me in other areas of life without my realization. And I feel that more benefits are yet to come as I recover my brain and body from porn. I have read many accounts of long rebooters in which they saw improvements in their mind, bodies and overall life for upto two years after leaving porn.

How my Journey started

I got married at the end of 2018. I was very much physically attracted to my wife and was looking forward to having abundant sex. Then came the first night and as you can already guess, I got no response from my buddy down there. That was quite shocking to me considering how horny I was in my mind about our marriage and finally getting the chance to have real physical sex with the girl I love. I thought that maybe anxiety or over excitement got to me and thus no response from my body. I definitely knew that I was not anxious or nervous at all but still your mind brings up some kind of justification to let it go. Then we went to honeymoon for 2 weeks and still my penis wouldn't respond to advancements from my wife at all. 2 months passed and still no intercourse. I didn't PMO in these 2 months as well because I had decided to leave porn once I get married. At that time, I didn't know the damages of porn or whether porn could be addiction. I just had decided that I should not be dependent upon pixels once I have a real physical girl with me. Since I didn't watch Porn or PMO in the first 2 months after marriage, I had unconsciously started my detox as well. I wish the recovery from PMO addiction could be that quick. So what happened after 2 months is that my body went into flatline. Not knowing at all, what is happening to my mind and body, I rushed to porn to check whether my system is still working. It was working indeed. I got erection from porn, could keep erection for long, had an orgasm. Everything was just like old times except that now my wife was sleeping alone in the other room at 2am in the night without getting the physical connection she was supposed to get from her husband and everything that comes with it. My guilt was high but my mind kept telling me that its not my fault. In the third and fourth month of my marriage, my PMO sessions frequency was back to where it was before I got married. I buried the guilt of not having any sex at all with my wife for this much time and tried to go through my life normally. Despite no sex, our relationship went along. My wife was understanding and we both thought that my body need some time etc.

At the end of fourth month, my wife asked me that I should visit a doctor regarding this. This came as a total shock to me since it was clear that my wife is saying to me that there something physically wrong with me that needs to be sorted out. She was right but I tried my best to convince her that there is nothing wrong and she has seen that I get erections when I am asleep and able to orgasm through her hands. This indeed turned to be a moment of change because after that long discussion with my wife, I googled, "Able to get erection with porn but unable to get it with a real physical girl". The results that came through literally changed my life. In the following week, I read hundreds of accounts of different people on this website and others regarding PIED, porn addiction, brain rewiring, reboot, science behind this and what not. I let a HUGE sigh of relief, explained my wife the whole thing. Thankfully, she was really helpful and did her part of research as well regarding this and kept giving me new information here and there.

The REBOOT

And now the real battle begins. I officially started my reboot on 30-Apr-2019. My reboot was "No Porn and No Masturbation". We decided that we will continue the orgasm part through my wife giving handjob since orgasm itself is not the issue but Porn is. I had no idea what I signed up for until withdrawals hit me. In the first one to two months, I went through what they call acute withdrawals which hit you immediately. They were random body pains, stomach pain, insomnia, cravings etc. The most difficult part is Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome or PAWS. They are psychological in nature and start after about 30-60 days. I am still going through PAWS as I write these words right now after 8 months. From what I have read, PAWS may continue for upto 2 years depending upon the severity of your addiction. I think PAWS are the most difficult obstacle in this journey and perhaps one of the biggest reason for relapse. Since they are psychological in nature, your life literally goes upside down. My PAWS include social anxiety, general anxiety, panic attacks for no reason, taking high stress for a very small thing, brain fog etc. As I said above, I am still going through PAWS and will write a separate post on PAWS. People and youtubers don't talk much about PAWS because people don't want to hear about it. The 90 day reboot is not true at all as well for people like me who started on high speed internet porn at young age without any prior real sex experience. And the latest research on yourbrainonporn and long term rebooters have confirmed this. 90 day period "may" be true for people who started on high speed porn at a later stage in their life when their brain and body knew what real sex and real girl is. Sadly, the 90 day period does NOT apply to us AT ALL.

My PAWS went really bad after about 4 months into reboot. I don't have words to depict what I went through because of my PAWS. Whether it is my work, or meeting with family/friends, you name it. It was a living HELL. My PAWS only starting getting better into my 7th month. Keyword here is better. People need to be aware what is coming at them so that they try to get themselves ready as much as possible.

After about six months into reboot (10 months into marriage), we tried to have intercourse but no success. I started getting some response from my penis but never strong enough and long enough for a successful intercourse. After this, I asked my wife to not give me handjob as well. I decided to go hardmode from here onwards i.e. No porn, No masturbation and No Orgasm.

SUCCESS!

So guys and girls, after 2 months of hardmode and a total of 8 months reboot, I was able to have first intercourse of my life about 2 nights ago. In last 36 hours alone, I have had four intercourse with my wife. My penis gets erect very easily now and with full strength and I am also able to easily maintain my erection throughout the intercourse. This is literally a dream come true for me after a very very long 1 Year. Guys, we have literally destroyed ourselves, our bodies, our minds with this crap. Just imagine the agony of not being able to have sex for 1 year with the girl you love, you married and saw all those dreams with. I cannot even imagine going back to this toxic crap. And after you start having real sex, you can see how different and opposite porn is as compared to real sex. Porn creates a void in your soul, leaves your mind empty just craving for more. Sex is fulfilling and what our body and mind are designed for. I can just go on and on as to how much porn destroys you without your knowledge. And it is coming from a person who had no issues with porn at all before marriage. If it wasn't for PIED, my relationship with porn would have never ended. I NEVER thought that just seeing something could be an addiction and could have such horrible effects on your mind and body. Thankfully, my wife was very understanding, helpful and patient. A normal girl would have left me a long time ago. Abstinence from Porn needs to be your life style, PERIOD! I am not against counting days as it can be very helpful for some keeping track of their success in the beginning. But in the long term, porn doesn't exist for you.

Some Tips & Tricks

Realize how harmful porn addiction is and what you're doing to yourself. Realize that by leaving porn, you aren't missing out on anything fun/good/exciting. Reading all the research, reboot accounts, nofap youtube channels and books in this regard is really helpful. I am attaching a book which I found really helpful.

Leaving porn doesn't only mean that you stop watching that particular content on screen. It means that you stop thinking about porn, stop imagining it, stop playing those scenes in your mind, stop imagining it when you orgasm or masturbate without porn. Even when you imagine or recreate scenes from porn in your mind, for brain, its like you are watching porn. You are only going to prolong your reboot further by doing this. I read this somewhere and I feel it really sped up the rebooting process for me in last 3 months. I know this is really tough in the beginning but with practice and time, it will get easier.

Be very careful about the stuff you watch especially during your reboot. In real life or otherwise. The hot photos on social media, insta, facebook, random websites. The content you watch on tv, movies, seasons and what not. Stop watching anything that may act as a trigger for you. Besides trigger, this will also make your reboot longer and painful. After your successful reboot, you need to make it a lifestyle. Watching random hot bikini babes on pixels is doing no good to your mind.

Find hobbies. Believe me, the extra time and energy you get after leaving this crap, needs to be put into something useful very quickly. Whether it is hitting the gym you have been procrastinating for years, or seeking a real life girl, or improving your skills in some areas or reading a book or meditation. Whatever it is, it needs to start asap after you start your reboot.

Learn about withdrawals esp PAWS and how to go through them. Get ready to go through a difficult phase during reboot but KNOW what lies ahead. KNOW that it is temporary and a much better life awaits you on the other end. The longer you delay your reboot process, the lesser the quality of life will be and eventually the more painful the reboot process. This is emergency. Whoever and wherever you are, you have got to start your journey NOW.

I have also gotten very close to GOD during this time so this point is for those who believe there is a Creator out there who made us and everything. Get close to God. For Muslim Fapstronauts, start reading and understanding Quran immediately. The code to success has already been given by our Creator. Start praying 5 times a day to begin with. For all others, get close to God, speak to God who is in your heart all the time. I know if you truly approach Him, your journey will become easier.

Ending Remarks

I hope my above post may help someone out there trying to get out of this vicious porn trap. Just don't get disheartened if your reboot is taking a long time. I got really down after 7 months into my reboot when I was still not recovered from PIED and PAWS were killing me. Just then I read some of the accounts here:

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/por...-erectile-dysfunction-is-taking-way-too-long/

And it gave me motivation to push on. And now fast forward 30 days and I have recovered from PIED for life. FOREVER. Just imagine if I had given up at that time and stopped believing or relapsed???? I can't even begin to imagine how lost I would have been then. Just know and realize that this is the only way forward. Besides PIED, porn is also a major reason of depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, anhedonia or other brain related conditions in our generation. You only get to know the difference when you throw this poison out of your body, brain, soul and life for forever! May God bless you all.
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing your story. I am not much into porn but been masturbating regularly on a weekly basis for the last 13 years. I decided to go hardmode two months ago but after 60 days, I no longer feel any attraction towards women and no erections at all. Could this be a sign of flatline. And do you think supplements can assist in this journey especially Ashwagadha. Some one recommended to me once in this forum.
Thanks
Sotomayor
Sotomayor20, Jun 1, 2020

Sotomayor20, Jun 1, 2020

#139
Jun 1, 2020 #140

EnglishTosser Fapstronaut

66

69

18

Did you have many wet dreams? When did you release you were cured? I'm struggling to get an erection even alone these days.

EnglishTosser, Jun 1, 2020

EnglishTosser, Jun 1, 2020

#140

EdSucks likes this.

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