1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Someone talk me out of this (trans escort)

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Fallacious D, May 22, 2020.

  1. Or just help me rationalize this. Trigger warning btw.

    Last time I relapsed, I started by looking up trans escort sites and browsing the different "providers." Then it escalated to videos of trans escorts fucking male clients. Now I'm on a nice clean monk mode streak of 6 days. But I just can't get the idea out of my head. I feel like I can't be happy unless I go through with meeting up with one of these people. Keep in mind, I'm a hetero, and I'm not interested in a relationship with a trans person, and I'm also a virgin. But the thought of doing it seems really appealing, beyond even having a girlfriend or a normal relationship.

    Of course, my mental health comes above a temporary thing like that, and I want to recover before anything else. But shit... I really am having a hard time seeing a reason NOT to do this. I wish I was in flatline so I didn't have any desire for the sexy-feelies, but alas. Can anyone help me negotiate this situation?
     
  2. Mistersofty

    Mistersofty Fapstronaut

    187
    427
    63
    Well if you say that you’re heterosexual, then I would say that you’re in for a rude awakening should you attempt to live out this fantasy.
     
  3. Have you done something similar?
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. Mistersofty

    Mistersofty Fapstronaut

    187
    427
    63
    Nope, that was never my thing. I’m just making an assumption. We already know that porn addiction leads us into areas that are against our nature. So I’m guessing that if you sought out this experience in real life, you’d probably be disappointed. These things generally don’t end up well, but I guess for some of us, it’s a wake up call at best.
     
  5. At the very least, I think I'll try to get a full 90 days and then see if I still want to do it. There's no need to interrupt this reboot prematurely.
     
    Deleted Account and FreeSpirit99 like this.
  6. Self-Actualized Men

    Self-Actualized Men Fapstronaut

    23
    131
    28
    Hi Man! I have an experience similar to yours that I think will sufficiently convince you why this is a bad idea. I did the same thing and reached out to a Porn Star to engage in a femdom fantasy and it was far from what I expected. The net result is that I was more aroused actually watching videos of this Porn Star than actually hooking up with her! It was the Super-Stimulus of Porn that I was really craving (Thats how addictions work, we always want to escalate) not the women or the act. Read my Thread "My Experience With a Porn Star - (The Truth About ED & Fetishes)" if you are interested in the full detailed experience.

    I highly recommend looking over my experience before you make any decisions. The truth will surprise you. Wish you the best man, let me know what you think.
     
  7. Mistersofty

    Mistersofty Fapstronaut

    187
    427
    63
    I’d be willing to bet that after 90 days clean, your mind will be much more in tune with your true nature.
     
  8. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    Damn I was going to comment and link the thread as well lol. Seriously though OP read this thread its a good one.
     
  9. Self-Actualized Men

    Self-Actualized Men Fapstronaut

    23
    131
    28
    Haha beat you to it! Been meaning to reply to your last comment btw, I will later tonight!
     
    Deleted Account and AtomicTango like this.
  10. @Self-Actualized Men I've read your post by the way. It seems like there is an assumption that I wouldn't actually like it. How do you know? I could theorize that your inability to perform with this porn star was due to some kind of anxiety, but I don't want to trivialize your experience. However, it is just an anecdote.

    It should also be noted that I sincerely disbelieve that my fetish is porn-induced. I see it as a natural sort of curiosity. Now, let's assume that I go through with exactly what I want, and I enjoy it just as much as I predict I will. Then in reality, is there truly a valid reason that I should withhold myself from experimenting?
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. Wave tamer

    Wave tamer Fapstronaut

    770
    669
    93
    Yes there is a massive reason why you shouldn’t because it’s highly addictive and will mess you up. I imagine it’s very expensive and will leave you broke. It’s very easy to catch HIV from escorts especially male ones as the act isn’t very clean. And I don’t think it’s exactly natural for a bloke to have boob implants and facial surgery and charge you to have a with him!
    Off putting enough?
     
  12. Metis07

    Metis07 Fapstronaut

    278
    361
    63
    It’s like to ask ‘why shouldn’t I try methamphetamine out of curiosity?’
    Many of us here started pmo out of curiosity and where did it bring us? I think almost everyone here would say I wish I never have done it in the first place.

    90 days hard mode reboot is a good idea be the way, forget about it for 90 days and ask yourself later.
     
  13. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I know you asked someone else but I'll add my two cents to this...

    For the longest period of time, I genuinely believed a lot of my fetishes weren't porn induced, just like you. I really did think a lot of it was just a part of me and it wouldn't go away even on a long streak. To cut a long story short, it turned out I was wrong. Over the course of my previous 90+ day streaks, almost every single fetish I have had over the course of my time watching porn has almost completely faded and only the very strongest still remain to be purged. This gives me hope that those will also fade away given enough time and enough effort rewiring.

    I cant say for sure that this will also happen to you, but at the same time, you also cant really know either. To be honest, no one can. This is why its probably a good idea to go 90 days. Honestly, its probably worth going even further because, from my experience, urges start to get really strong around that time as your brain has one last serious attempt to entice you into relapse, and then if you dont give in they 75% go away and only come back very occasionally or if you get triggered by something.
     
  14. Wave tamer

    Wave tamer Fapstronaut

    770
    669
    93
    Over the course of my previous 90+ day streaks, almost every single fetish I have had over the course of my time watching porn has almost completely faded and only the very strongest still remain to be purged. This gives me hope that those will also fade away given enough time and enough effort rewiring.

    I cant say for sure that this will also happen to you, but at the same time, you also cant really know either. To be honest, no one can. This is why its probably a good idea to go 90 days. Honestly, its probably worth going even further because, from my experience, urges start to get really strong around that time as your brain has one last serious attempt to entice you into relapse, and then if you dont give in they 75% go away and only come back very occasionally or if you get triggered by something.[/QUOTE]

    That’s really comforting to know and thanks for the warning about the urges around day 90. Well done by the way dude
     
  15. No, I don't see why any of those reasons should deter me from having sex with someone. I know it's a dude with fake boobs. Sex with anyone can be addictive, there's just no way of knowing whether it will happen to me. I'm willing to bear the financial burden, which isn't really that much. And there is an inherent risk of infection with any sexual activity. I don't see how having sex with a trans person is any different than having sex with a woman, assuming protection is used.
    I don't think these are fair comparisons. Yes, sexual activity can be addictive, but it is also fun and relatively safe if done responsibly. I don't know much about meth or hard drugs, but these substances are created to be addictive. The same with porn - it is an unrestricted amount of pleasure at no cost. Sex is just sex. It's not infinite and free like porn is, and there is no inherent risk of addiction for most people.

    I will, however, agree that until I've gone back to my neutral, porn-free mindset, I should not make any hasty sexual decisions. So that is what I'll do.

    I agree that I should go the "full" 90 days and even further before I start trying to determine what I want sexually. The only thing that's holding me back from living out this fantasy right now is the uncertainty, paired with the knowledge that PMO has damaged my mindset and may be giving me false ideals, like some of you have pointed out. Either way, only time will tell. My hand is forced (literally) because I don't want to be stuck in a relapse loop.

    I guess I've just been having a lot of temptation today, and the smartest thing to do is ignore it. Thanks to everyone for their input.
     
    Deleted Account and Metis07 like this.
  16. Wave tamer

    Wave tamer Fapstronaut

    770
    669
    93
    it sounds like your addiction is speaking or you’re just attention seeking asking to be rescued from something you’re going to do anyway. I strongly suggest you sleep on it.
    When you go to the Std clinic for a test some of the things they ask you are:
    Have you paid for sex with anybody? ✅
    Have you slept with anyone of the same sex ✅
    Have you slept with anybody from another country ✅
    I imagine they ask this as they’re high risks, but could be wrong!
     
  17. Asgardian36

    Asgardian36 Fapstronaut

    1,464
    1,625
    143
    i can relate to you, man. Last year some time in the late months (Nov) i think, I was so fucked up. I went on the dating app and tried to chat up with a few trans because I was not going anywhere with the girls and I knew I had no hope.

    I had urges to go meet this person....I messaged my accountability grp. My friend talked me out of it. He said I would regret it later and that stopped me, man. I know P has been messing with out brain and making us want all unnatural things, If you a hetero and have a hunch that you are gonna regret it later, don't do it, bro!
     
  18. It sounds like you are injecting your personal bias into an issue where it does not belong. If I said that I wanted to be a boxer or a football player, would you then start ranting about the risk of injury etc? I doubt it. Protection reduces risk of disease by a very large margin - if I recall it's somewhere around 99%. And I accept the risk of disease any time I engage in a sex act. This sounds like a moral issue for you, when it's not for me.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  19. Thanks for the advice man. I guess it would help to share that 99% of my non-porn (just M) relapses in the last few years have been to trans fantasies. I feel like there is something going on here.
     
    Deleted Account and Asgardian36 like this.
  20. newsick

    newsick Fapstronaut

    I'd say you shouldn't have sex with someone just for the sake of sex, especially if you've never had sex before. It's not gross or weird to have sex with a trans person, they're just people lol, but I don't think it's wise to have sex with someone you'd never even consider having a relationship with. A huge part of what makes sex good is knowing and loving the person and caring about their pleasure, and I'm grateful that I lost my virginity to a friend and lover.
     

Share This Page