My Battle with addiction

Braafie · May 22, 2020

I was introduced to *Fapping at a very young age of 9, another boy much older then me asked,
Have you ever done this before? and he demonstrated in on himself.
I was a very curious boy tried it out for myself. I can, till this day, remember the feeling.
But Little did i know "never make your right hand your best friend".
My child mind was now corrupted forever, with a simple "try this"

I was never the same after that. i started to become secretive, withdrawn, isolated, scared even, of my new found play "Game"
But little did i know i would regret it later in my life. Growing older i started to discover, something happens when i look at lady parts.
and there things started going down hill.

Skip to high school. never had a girlfriend, High anxiety, Scared of girls, can't talk to girls, shy.
and i knew fapping was a problem back then, but damn it was the only thing that made me feel GOOD.

skip past high school, first year at university. Guess who has a Hand for a girlfriend and can't quit porn. yup THIS GUY.
I started seeing a girl and one thing led to another, we were about to do what "Marvin Gay" says best....
yup that night i couldn't get my best friend to work. why Porn, Anxiety, Shame. or First time gitters.

well long story short i broke up with the girl and my life took a turn for the worst.
But Guess who was always there to help me numb the pains of life.
YUP... It was the Internet porn, Back then my dear friend.
Today you are my worst enemy. I will never forgive you for what you did to me,
but know i will break the curse you spoke over me.

In the past year i have had many Relapses. But today marks the first day of my journey of recovery from your ways.
My battle with Addiction

eevahnits · May 23, 2020

To me this looks like an open letter to your porn addiction and I can't help but admire you for writing all this. I think this is a healthy way to acknowledge how it affected your life and how you no longer need it. This is really helpful because you recognize what's bad and you want to change it. You gave a voice to your thoughts and that's a great way of weakening their power because now you can read it and not be afraid of listening to your own words. I truly wish you success man. Always self-reflect and acknowledge your thoughts and just let go of them. Good luck bro. You will beat this. You CAN.

Braafie · May 24, 2020

eevahnits said: ↑

To me this looks like an open letter to your porn addiction and I can't help but admire you for writing all this. I think this is a healthy way to acknowledge how it affected your life and how you no longer need it. This is really helpful because you recognize what's bad and you want to change it. You gave a voice to your thoughts and that's a great way of weakening their power because now you can read it and not be afraid of listening to your own words. I truly wish you success man. Always self-reflect and acknowledge your thoughts and just let go of them. Good luck bro. You will beat this. You CAN.
Click to expand...

Thank you very much. It hasn't been easy but i really am trying and when i heard of nofap i knew i i needed to tell me story because so many other struggle with the same... But are not at the emotional level or putting it into words

Deleted Account · May 24, 2020

eevahnits said: ↑

To me this looks like an open letter to your porn addiction and I can't help but admire you for writing all this. I think this is a healthy way to acknowledge how it affected your life and how you no longer need it. This is really helpful because you recognize what's bad and you want to change it. You gave a voice to your thoughts and that's a great way of weakening their power because now you can read it and not be afraid of listening to your own words. I truly wish you success man. Always self-reflect and acknowledge your thoughts and just let go of them. Good luck bro. You will beat this. You CAN.
Click to expand...

I very much admire this post as well, your open letter to your relationship with porn and how determined you are to conquer it. Very powerful words! I'm touched by this. Like you were 9 years old when it happened and how are 9 years suppose to learn and be kids with this 'new age porn' at their disposable? As you put it, it is very destructive.

I'm sure you will learn plenty on nofap and I really wish you a stress free journey. Take every day as it comes. Don't force yourself to think you have to give it up for 90 days, 100 days etc immediately. Even the very best on the nofap forum will tell you they failed many times on their journey; before they started hitting their big numbers.

The most important thing is you are honest with yourself and always accountable.

Welcome to one of the best, life changing places you will experience! Let us know if you need help along the way.

Rationaliser · May 24, 2020

So, are you looking for accountability partners? I do feel every bit of your story and can relate to many aspects of it. It sounds commiting.

I'm in an accountability group of 5 people on Discord aged 20-25 and we're dealing with various struggles of ourselves. We're open to speaking our minds out and hearing each other. One can discuss any area of their life. A voice channel is also available.

We have one spot left. Would you like to join?

If this thread isn't for finding APs, please consider posting in the first two subforums here: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php

Griitings · May 25, 2020

Braafie said: ↑

I was introduced to *Fapping at a very young age of 9, another boy much older then me asked,
Have you ever done this before? and he demonstrated in on himself.
I was a very curious boy tried it out for myself. I can, till this day, remember the feeling.
But Little did i know "never make your right hand your best friend".
My child mind was now corrupted forever, with a simple "try this"

I was never the same after that. i started to become secretive, withdrawn, isolated, scared even, of my new found play "Game"
But little did i know i would regret it later in my life. Growing older i started to discover, something happens when i look at lady parts.
and there things started going down hill.

Skip to high school. never had a girlfriend, High anxiety, Scared of girls, can't talk to girls, shy.
and i knew fapping was a problem back then, but damn it was the only thing that made me feel GOOD.

skip past high school, first year at university. Guess who has a Hand for a girlfriend and can't quit porn. yup THIS GUY.
I started seeing a girl and one thing led to another, we were about to do what "Marvin Gay" says best....
yup that night i couldn't get my best friend to work. why Porn, Anxiety, Shame. or First time gitters.

well long story short i broke up with the girl and my life took a turn for the worst.
But Guess who was always there to help me numb the pains of life.
YUP... It was the Internet porn, Back then my dear friend.
Today you are my worst enemy. I will never forgive you for what you did to me,
but know i will break the curse you spoke over me.

In the past year i have had many Relapses. But today marks the first day of my journey of recovery from your ways.
My battle with Addiction
Click to expand...

Welcome to the Nofap community. Porn is indeed an enemy. Get some materials about the effects of porn on your mental and physical health. This I believe will keep you motivated. Stay determined and the table will turn in your favour.

Griitings · May 25, 2020

Braafie said: ↑

I was introduced to *Fapping at a very young age of 9, another boy much older then me asked,
Have you ever done this before? and he demonstrated in on himself.
I was a very curious boy tried it out for myself. I can, till this day, remember the feeling.
But Little did i know "never make your right hand your best friend".
My child mind was now corrupted forever, with a simple "try this"

I was never the same after that. i started to become secretive, withdrawn, isolated, scared even, of my new found play "Game"
But little did i know i would regret it later in my life. Growing older i started to discover, something happens when i look at lady parts.
and there things started going down hill.

Skip to high school. never had a girlfriend, High anxiety, Scared of girls, can't talk to girls, shy.
and i knew fapping was a problem back then, but damn it was the only thing that made me feel GOOD.

skip past high school, first year at university. Guess who has a Hand for a girlfriend and can't quit porn. yup THIS GUY.
I started seeing a girl and one thing led to another, we were about to do what "Marvin Gay" says best....
yup that night i couldn't get my best friend to work. why Porn, Anxiety, Shame. or First time gitters.

well long story short i broke up with the girl and my life took a turn for the worst.
But Guess who was always there to help me numb the pains of life.
YUP... It was the Internet porn, Back then my dear friend.
Today you are my worst enemy. I will never forgive you for what you did to me,
but know i will break the curse you spoke over me.

In the past year i have had many Relapses. But today marks the first day of my journey of recovery from your ways.
My battle with Addiction
Click to expand...

Porn is indeed an enemy. Educate yourself with the effects of porn on your mental and physical well being. Stay determined and you will have your life back. Good luck on your journey!

Deleted Account · May 25, 2020

All the best @Braafie, feel free to join the 'The Matrix' challenge if you wish.

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