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Jagliana's Journal | An S.O's perspective

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by Jagliana, Feb 4, 2018.

  1. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    Sigh, they thrive on driving us utterly insane.
     
    aricking likes this.
  2. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

    4,195
    7,774
    143
    It would be so much easier to just let them have their way! Lol.
     
    Jagliana likes this.
  3. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 845: 05/21/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he pampered me and made my locks look like a million bucks! he really has a knack for this and I really love when he does it too, it makes me feel special and pretty, like a shiny new penny lol. Then before starting season 2 of American Gods, we had a talk with our preteen and boy, did it take a lot out of everyone involved, I just hope that something, anything sticks. Then we proceeded to watch as he gave me a comforting hand and foot rub, before heading to work.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Problem Solving Steps That Work", in this episode, Freddy Fri shares some fantastic problem-solving steps that will help when you have problems that you need to solve. Remember, what we focus on grows.

    This morning, we finished listening to "How To Stop Caring What People Think Of You" an interview with Gary Vee, on, On Purpose with Jay Shetty. Gary is an investor, a serial entrepreneur, and a 5 time New York Times bestselling author. Overall, the podcast was all right, there were some good points and some... eh, not so interesting ones because Gary has an annoying tendency to keep rambling in circles, taking forever to get to his point. There was a minor trigger there but I got past it. After we were done with the podcast, we spent the rest of the time discussing our daughter and our take on the whole situation.

    Back to homeschooling and dealing with the kiddos.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Minor trigger - got through it.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    How To Solve Your Own Problems


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    aricking likes this.
  4. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 846: 05/22/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me the trifecta, his hands are like magic like I literally feel the pain leaving my body as he does it. We spoke minimally, as we spoke earlier in the morning. We've discovered the Marco Polo app, so we've been sending each other cute videos randomly. We watched some more American Gods and then he had to head out to work.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “The Liberating Power Of Love", in this episode, we get a really special treat as we listen to Maya Angelou as she talks about the liberating power of love. Remember, love that's true will make your soul want to crawl out of its hiding place.

    This morning, we began listening to "THE SECRET Behind His SUCCESS & REVEALS How To WIN IN LIFE" an interview with Kevin Hart, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Kevin Hart is a hugely successful comedian, actor, and producer. We didn't get very far, he paused and began telling me how he had some random thoughts that perhaps he wasn't doing enough in recovery these days (compared to the past) or was getting complacent and then told himself "no, that's not true because everything is actually good", probably because he is now almost 3 years clean and what he needed to do before to stay on track, is just no longer needed because he has changed his lifestyle so much that it's his new normal. He expressed something we both have been feeling, that right now, our relationship is good... content, peaceful, effortless and we are at a point where no matter what happens (issues/triggers/sickness) we do not lose our connection. Even with triggers, as internally upset as I get, we are able to breathe and eventually talk through those emotions and get back to a good place. Both of us felt a huge shift after our last cruise, something changed for both of us and it is difficult to explain, but it is something we both feel. We are both genuinely excited to spend time together, even if we aren't doing an activity - when in the past we would both want nothing more than to be left alone, so we can do our own thing. It is a lot to explain, but what's important is that we both understand what the other means, and neither of us expected to be in a place like this, at least not with each other.

    Today he did not have as much energy as he had the last few times he was swinging into his weekend, so instead of just staying up, he went to take a nap. Once he is up, we'll spend some time together, I can not wait to sit down and have some wine, just the two of us - a "date night" if you will.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Feeling good about where Wade and I are in our relationship.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Dr. Maya Angelou - Love Liberates


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    aricking and Wade W. Wilson like this.
  5. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 847: 05/23/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Netgear Router.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, everything was going seemly normal, he was working on a puzzle at my parent's place and then a 3D puzzle at ours, so he skipped the massages due to his own back pain. As we sat there drinking some wine and watching American Gods, a scene there triggered me a bit, I wanted to make a remark out loud (something I would have normally done), but I held it in instead because a while ago, he had asked me if I could stop making a certain type of comments because it puts him into shame, etc. After a while, it was time for bed and he noticed that my mood had shifted. He began to ask me and I told him, I won't go into the whole exchange but let's just say I ended up spending a better half of an hour trying to justify my trigger, breaking it down plus he brought up an older post, where I spoke about how he would pick a prime over me; if he never knew either of us (which also spiraled into a long back and forth). Initially he said he just had one question to clarify the trigger (cause/effect) for himself, but that turned into a full-blown interaction, causing me to go over the same points over and over, while he was telling me "it doesn't make sense"... well, no shit, it's a trigger - my trigger, it won't make sense to the person not going through it. Anyway, I don't want to keep explaining the same stuff.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Attract What You Want In Life", in this episode, we hear from the great Wayne Dyer on How To Attract What You Want In Life. Remember, what you focus on grows. What you think about expands, and what you dwell upon determines your destiny.

    This morning, Wade set up the new Netgear router I had purchased and WOW what a difference in speed. I was wondering why at 400/400, both my direct and wifi were so utterly slow! (reaching like 50/50 max) and complaining to Verizon was useless, however, after speaking with my brother and having him check out my old router remotely, we discovered the POS from Verizon was over 6 years old with no updates/firmware available. Their new router was over $400, plus higher rates for the upgraded service. So, he recommended I try buying a router from a third party and see if that helps and I can now say, with 110% confidence, it sure does and for a whole lot less money. I'm grateful/thankful that Wade spent all morning setting it up. We had to skip our walk anyway, as it was raining and miserable outside, we did speak momentarily about the issue from last night and he said that he would rather I make those comments because that is easier for him to deal with than what ended up transpiring - I told him no because he already asked me not to do it, that it puts him in shame, so why would I do it!? makes no sense. Anyhow, I have a feeling we will talk about this some more until it is more resolved.

    Now, I'm working on some client work and he is running around fixing stuff around the apartment. It's going to be a long, dreary, and lazy day.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Holding it together, even when dealing with a million different things (people's issues).:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    How To Attract Exactly What You Want


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    aricking and Wade W. Wilson like this.
  6. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 848: 05/24/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Ride.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me the trifecta and it was so soothing. We spoke earlier in the night about the issue from before, things seemed to have settled a bit for me. After watching American Gods, we went to bed. Unfortunately, it was one of 'those nights', didn't get much sleep.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “No Excuses: Take Full Responsibility For Your Life", in this episode, we get encouragement from Les Brown to develop a no-excuses mindset and start taking full responsibility for your life. Remember, you can have the results you want, or you can have excuses, you can't have both.

    This morning, we finished listening to "THE SECRET Behind His SUCCESS & REVEALS How To WIN IN LIFE" an interview with Kevin Hart, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Kevin Hart is a hugely successful comedian, actor, and producer. During this interview we learned that he had a difficult life and overcame a lot... how to show up even though you might not be liked, what was harder: being a great comedian or being a great businessman in comedy, is having a great partner’s support important to success, how to thrive despite your mistakes, what is the thing you admire most about your life that most people don’t know about, what are the biggest lessons you have learned from your wife, what are the habits in your personal life that you practice day-to-day to better yourself, what are you dreaming about for the next ten years, and where did your emphasis on solitude come from. Then we stopped by Home Depot to get some stuff, it was going okay and then we had an incident, I got triggered but I also noticed him slip. He does not believe that he did, but I am fairly certain. Anyway, we discussed it a little on the ride back, but he stopped because he was going into fix-it mode and that would not solve anything, maybe make things worse. I hear him when he tries to explain how he feels about me these days (and how he disregards others) and I want to believe him too, but I just don't think it is possible when deep down, I was never his first pick and the only reason it has changed now is because of connection, not raw attraction. And, it kills me to be aware of it all like this.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Hair looks fabulous still.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Losers Make Excuses


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    aricking likes this.
  7. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 849: 05/25/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Ride.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me the trifecta and it was wonderful as usual. We finished watching American Gods (only 8 episodes?! it's like they aren't even trying!) ... anyhow, when we went to bed, he began whispering sweet things into my ear, about how this moment was perfect, a perfect end to a great day, and then he added "with a perfect woman" and unfortunately, I was still triggered from what happened at the store. I could not process that in peace, it caused a conversation that led to an emotional/tearful breakdown on my part because I hate that my triggers and issues can ruin what should be sweet moments, etc. Anyhow, it actually felt good to cry it out, get things off my chest, and then finally fall asleep.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “What Having It All Really Means And Is It Even Possible", in this episode, Kate Marie O'Brien explains what having it all really means and if it's even possible. Remember, the secret to having it all is believing you already do.

    This morning, we had to return to Home Depot because he wanted to return some items. Initially, my fears were swirling around, I was afraid of a repeat of yesterday. Luckily, it wasn't that bad there today, we went in, did our thing, and left. We spoke on the drive back and he was nagging me about being more positive and accepting the compliments he gives me with a thank you instead of a shrug or "yeah right". I'm not a hippie, but whatever I will try - if I'm in the mood of course. Then we had a nice lunch that Wade prepared as a family. Now we are taking both girls to get antibody blood tests, someone please give us strength................ we do not know if we will survive the impending outbursts.

    Please take a moment today to remember those who have been lost.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: How my yoga pants fit, even though I've gained a few pounds.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    'HOW TO HAVE IT ALL' - What That REALLY Means


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  8. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 850: 05/26/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) The Internet.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me the trifecta, which really helped relieve my headache that was bugging me all day! even a total of 8 Advils did NOTHING! anyhow we talked, well vented about some back and forths we had with my parents a little earlier. Both of us were also so happy that our kids acted like champs during their blood draw (antibody test). My mood was better also, which was good. Then we went to watch, analyze, and make fun of our latest 90-day fiance episode, before heading off to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Relationship Struggles: Potential Problems and How To Fix Them", in this episode, Julia Kristina Counselling shares some great solutions if you often find yourself struggling in relationships. Remember, the goal when it comes to entering into a relationship should be to find someone who not only changes your status but also changes your life.

    This morning, we had to stop by our kid's school to pick up some items that were left at the school, from our little one's class. It was surreal to have to pick up her items, that were placed in a black trash bag... kind of spoke volumes about the situation we currently find ourselves in. It's so depressing, as I am writing I look to the side and see a matted photo of our daughter the kindergarten teacher made at the beginning of the year and was probably on the classroom wall this whole time... I don't know, it just gives me such a weird pit of the stomach feeling of loss. I know this sounds petty and I am not comparing it to those who have lost loved ones, but I feel sad for her, missing her Spring Concert, all of fun "crazy hat" days, graduation, her teacher, friends... I can not even begin to imagine how confusing and traumatic it is for a 5-year-old to have been attending school, seeing the same teacher and friends daily, to then abruptly be removed from that environment, without even getting to say goodbye or really understanding why. I am doing everything I can to make this as easy as possible for her, last weekend I arranged a meet up on Zoom with some of her classmates and they were all so happy, so I intend on making this a weekly event.

    Anyhow, back to homeschooling...

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I finished putting together my kid's assignments for the week!:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Do You Struggle to Have Healthy Relationships? If So, You May Be Codependent


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    aricking likes this.
  9. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 851: 05/27/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Cold Water.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, Wade was working all evening (overtime) and we didn't know if he would stop by the house or go straight into his shift, depending on when his OT was done. While he was there, my brain was going haywire, the weather was nice and I could not stop myself from imagining how much 'fun' he was having with all those women there in tight pants, which over time was making me more and more depressed and anxious. I was getting to a point where my rage/fear was becoming so overwhelming that I didn't even care whether he went straight to work or stopped by. He kept sending me messages that he missed me, normally I'd be over the moon, however, I had let him know what was on my mind... his quick response to that was "don't worry about it, no one here is bothering me" - which to me is a nonanswer/answer, it's vague and he didn't address whether he is slipping or whatever. So his messages did nothing to ease the thoughts swirling in my head, instead, I began wondering if he was just doing it to 'deflect' from what may have been going on there. He decided to stop by at home, he came in and hugged me tight, telling me he missed me so much, more than usual etc., but we never really addressed what I've been going through for the last 6 hours, so I did not feel present with him at all. We didn't do much, obviously skipped the trifecta, he made himself a meal and ate, he had about an hour before he had to leave for work but he wanted to just relax and watch tv, so we did that and then he went to work. I barely got any sleep, it was one of those nights - I was tossing and turning for most of the night.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Bounce Back When Going Through Tough Times", in this episode, Les Brown talks with us about how to bounce back when you're going through tough times. Remember, the ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy.

    This morning, I'm still feeling off and just like I mentioned a few posts ago, it makes me feel so bad when he is happy, excited and missing me... and here I am, not 'emotionally there' aka not on the same page because I'm still triggered from yesterday, it's unresolved for me, so it is boiling inside. Then, my parents come to sit with the kids and as usual, my dad just rambles on and on about nonsensical stuff - giving me a huge headache. Because I was feeling the like shit physically (and mentally), we decided to get our grocery run over with today. There were a few minor triggers there, but I am so out of it and still weening off of yesterday that I was able to move through them. Once we got home, Wade went to bed and I stayed with the girls and managed their time as best as I could. I decided to play a joke on myself when I thought it would be possible for me to set them both up and maybe nap for 30 mins or so, within the first 5 minutes my eldest kept sending me messages, then came and hugged me, by putting all of her weight on me and I was like "do you not see I am trying to nap?" and she goes "yeah, but it's just a hug" "oh and can you unblock this and that" ugh... I was up completely, soon thereafter because what is the point. Anyway, I proceeded to make them lunch and now it's time to wrangle the rest of their homeschooling session for the day.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Didn't let minor triggers make me feel worse.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    WHEN LIFE GETS TOUGH


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    aricking likes this.
  10. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

    4,195
    7,774
    143
    Hang in there! Things will get better, the days are long but the years are short. I remember needing to sleep so bad and trying to convince my 4 year old to take a nap. I fell asleep and woke up with her stuffing peanuts up my nose! Lol.
     
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  11. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    Man, I miss their nap time so badly!!! I just want to hide somewhere, but I can't LOL.
     
    aricking likes this.
  12. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

    4,195
    7,774
    143
    This is why cows have a better system than humans! The babysitter cow takes all the babies while mom rests!
     
    Jagliana likes this.
  13. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    WOW, I WISH! :D
     
  14. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 852: 05/28/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me the trifecta and it was great, we spoke about my feelings and how I interpreted what transpired earlier (what I wrote about in my prior post). Then we watched some Outlander before he had to go to work. I felt super sleepy, especially after he was hitting certain spots in my hand, but as soon as he left, I laid in bed staring at the ceiling. I only slept for 1-1.5 hrs this night and it sucks, we are now going on day three of my sleepless nights and I have no idea why.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Taking Care Of Yourself: Remembering To Take Care Of You", in this episode, Freddy Fri shares an inspiring message about taking care of yourself. Remember, the Universe will never require you to set yourself on fire to provide heat for others.

    This morning, I thought he was going to be held up at work, so I was going to go walk on my own, I was considering staying at home but after listening to my dad for about 30 mins -1 hr, I knew I had to go, even if I needed to crawl my way out the door. Wade ended up getting home just in the nick of time and we went for a quick walk. We did not listen to anything, I am on autopilot/zombie mode, so I would not be able to really 'take in' anything. Instead, we both just vented about our nights, plus my insane morning. It was good to get it out. I am so exhausted though, my eyes are opening and closing as I type.

    Well, even though I am passing out, I need to push through all that... because I need to make sure the kids get their school work for the day done.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No major triggers.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Protect Your Heart From Hurt


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
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  15. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 853: 05/29/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he was exhausted and for some reason thought it was necessary to ask me if it was okay for him to skip the backrub, I told him he didn't have to do anything at all, it's not a requirement I have, it was kind of weird that he felt the need to ask me if it was okay? anyhow, I do appreciate the massages, they feel good and help with my pains, but by no means do I want him to feel like I expect them or like it's an obligation. We watched Outlander and he had to go to work after. I went to bed and actually slept half-decent, whenever I sleep for more than 3-4 hours, I consider it a win, even with interruptions.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Understanding When It's Time To Reboot Your Life", in this episode, Myles Munroe and Les Brown talk with us about the importance of time, and when it's time to reboot your life. Remember, people on a path of purpose don't have time for drama.

    This morning, after ranting for a bit... sigh, seems like something we have to do every morning now... what a week! anyhow during our walk, we began listening to "The Importance Of Putting Yourself First & Making Kindness The New Norm" an interview with Khloe Kardashian, on, "On Purpose with Jay Shetty". Both of us, but especially Wade decided to listen to this interview with an open mind... you know - given who she is and what we as a general public assume/have seen or heard about her/her family. For those who have been living under a rock for the last decade, Khloe is most well-known for her role on the reality television series Keeping Up With The Kardashians. She is the sister of Kim Kardashian. So far, both of us are enjoying her point of view on kindness and appreciating everyone around you, from busboys to drivers. Just a small gesture like saying please, thank you or hello can make a world of difference to another person and both of us know this from personal experience. Wade would greet workers on our last cruise with a loud and hearty "HELLO!" or "Good Morning!" and they would reply with shock, one was so touched that every time she saw him, she would shout "that's the nice guy who always says hello!" or something like that. It feels good, for both the giver and receiver. We are looking forward to hearing what else she has to say, who knew? lol. #StopJudging #Guilty

    Back to homeschooling... it's FRIDAY! that means I get a school break tomorrow, sheesh, never thought I would be saying this, these days.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Minor triggers on the trail, but I got through them quickly.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Perspectives About Possessions


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    aricking and Wade W. Wilson like this.
  16. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 854: 05/30/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Wade getting home.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me the trifecta and it really soothed out pains I was having and I really thought I would get some sleep after that, but boy was I wrong. After he left for work, the situation in NYC got worse protests/riots and targeting of police. One precinct in Brooklyn was completely overrun and a level 4 mobilization was called, something that hadn't been done since 9/11. So, I was stressed and worried all night for Wade's safety, sigh.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Stop Wasting Time And Get Busy Living Your Life Your Way", in this episode, an inspiring message encouraging you to stop wasting time and get busy living your life your way. Remember, we have the choice every minute of every day to be busy living or be busy dying.

    This morning, thankfully Wade made it home safe and sound. Then he got into a 'debate' with my dad - a huge difference of opinion, as usual, which I have told him countless times is useless with him and only ends up giving himself major stress. Anyhow, on the way to shopping, we both talked and vented our frustrations about everything, and that always helps. It was warm, so more people were also out, which means more triggers for me... today was no different. Luckily, although I got triggered, I was still so distracted by all of the chaos from this morning, I was able to move through it a bit quicker. However, the more I think about one in specific, the more riled up I get (internally). No matter what is happening, somethings never change.

    I hope Wade and I have some sort of peace today, I can not take any more shit or I might explode.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Big trigger, but other distractions helped it pass.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    DON'T WASTE TIME


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
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  17. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 855: 05/31/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he washed and brushed out my hair, it is so helpful when he does it because my hair weighs a ton and it would take me 5 times longer to do, what he does in about 30 mins. Then we continued watching Outlander, both of us were mentally drained and exhausted so we went to bed shortly after.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Avoid Overwhelm And Follow Through On Your Goals", in this episode, we get 5 great tips on how to avoid overwhelm and learn to follow through and achieve our goals. Remember, you are what you do, not what you say you'll do.

    This morning, during our walk, we continued listening to "The Importance Of Putting Yourself First & Making Kindness The New Norm" an interview with Khloe Kardashian, on, "On Purpose with Jay Shetty". She makes a lot of good points and they are even more meaningful given what is going on in the world right now. She circles around it, without naming it but I believe she is trying to describe the ability to emphasize. One part that really hit home was around 29:43: "I can't explain something to someone when this is only the level of their understanding and their want, to understand. People also have to have the desire to want to learn more and want to open up their mind too, unlike if I'm closed up and if I'm just some bitter person where I live my life like the world is unjust and why do bad things happen to me it's like to me - there's no good, there's no bad things happening. It's the energy of the world, how you handle it, is then again, another ripple effect from how I think more things are going to happen to you but if I'm sitting here like life sucks life is so unjust unfair all these bad things are happening then oh my gosh you're just gonna attract all this heavy stuff but if I'm like 'okay that was not the best but I'm gonna figure out why' and let me try to move on and still let me not misdirect my energy let me try to be happy". Also during our walk, because the weather is nice... there were more than enough triggers for me. One of them was walking right in front of us, for most of the walk and her being right in front of my face (and his) was really giving me some enraging thoughts that I had to use a lot of mental energy, just not to become too snappy outward. We spoke a bit about it in the car, however, my position still stands, no - I do not believe I will ever get to a point where I will believe he would [physically] want/choose me, over them. That kills me a little bit inside, daily... like a poison sucking the joy out of my life.

    Anyhow, we got home, looking forward to a lazy Sunday, maybe a BBQ for lunch... then Wade and our kids had a blowout over electronics... I just can't, especially with the constant debates with my dad every morning... it's too much for me. On top of all those stressors, I also have to worry every time Wade goes into work.


    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Kept my opinions on what was going to between Wade and our eldest to myself, letting them handle their issue amongst themselves.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    5 Things to Do When You Have Too Many Ideas and Never Finish Anything


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    aricking likes this.
  18. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 856: 06/01/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he painted my nails to my favorite color and then gave me a nice hand and foot rub. We continued watching Outlander and then went to "bed" and after some fun... we finally went to sleep lol.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “What To Do When Enough Is Enough", in this episode, Les Brown tells us what to do when you've reached the point in your life where enough is enough. I sure as hell know all about that! Remember, do not confuse who you are with the job you do.

    This morning, during our walk, we finished listening to "The Importance Of Putting Yourself First & Making Kindness The New Norm" an interview with Khloe Kardashian, on, "On Purpose with Jay Shetty". Both of us have been pleasantly surprised by this interview and the depth of character Khloe has, it was awesome. Then Wade got notified that his shift would be changing to 12 hr ones, due to the riots, now I can forget about sleep for the next few weeks. Not to mention if the school has a drive-by graduation for our little one, he will miss it. This is all so crazy, as if worrying about COVID wasn't scary enough, now this.

    Going to try and mentally decompress, if my kids will allow it.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I got triggered at the start but was able to bring myself back, so we could enjoy the rest of the walk.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Love Yourself


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    aricking likes this.
  19. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 857: 06/02/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Photoshop.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me the trifecta, and he heard how much my back was cracking, the relief was so good. Then we watched some more Outlander, shortly after he left for work in this crazy environment. I barely got any sleep.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Technique Celebrities Use To Reach Their Full Potential", in this episode, we learn the technique all successful people use to help them achieve their full potential. Remember, you become what you think about.

    This morning, we did a quick grocery run because neither of us knows how long his 'new shift' will last. I also don't know why my body is reacting to stress (?) in the way that it is, I'm so exhausted. I'm overwhelmed. I want all of this to stop and I'd like to go back to 2019, I'm sorry I ever asked for 2020, sheesh.

    Jumanji level 6 sucks, I hope we make it to level 7.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Got past a minor trigger, quickly.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Every Celebrity Uses It


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    [​IMG]
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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
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  20. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 858: 06/03/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Cell Phones.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he still gave me a hand and foot rub, even though he was tired and I told him it wasn't necessary, but he insisted... as we watch 90 Day Fiance, before the 90 days and it was comical as usual. I am grateful for it of course, since it does help me, but still. We decided to try going to bed together and checking how much disturbance his new schedule would cause me as he packs up to leave for work in the middle of the night... it wasn't too bad though, because I went to bed with him (luckily I was tired enough, from not sleeping the night before). The other option was sleeping in different rooms, as we did when he had COVID.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Steps To Creating A Life Plan", in this episode, we listen in as the great Jim Rohn talks about the how's and why's of proper life planning. Remember, a goal without a plan is just a wish.

    This morning, I did not walk, since Wade is working and right now, it is just not safe in our neighborhood. So, I am handling the kids, making sure their schoolwork is done. I miss 2019. I want my husband safe and at home.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Tried to stay positve.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Jim Rohn: Making A Plan For Yourself


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    aricking and Wade W. Wilson like this.

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