27 year old and still a virgin

30 and still a virgin too.

Some days it kills me and then others I don't care. The worst thing is that I haven't at any point actually tried to lose it, even though for a long time sex was all I thought about I just took care of that with porn or my own imagination. I had chances to lose it when I was younger but didn't feel ready at the time and that was it. I've since often considered going to an escort but just couldn't bring myself to do it, now I've broken my libido so even that doesn't actually appeal to me anymore.

I've also built up sex in my head as being this impossible task, it's all so alien to me now that I wouldn't know where or how to meet a girl or even how to talk to one. I'm not even a bad looking guy and I workout etc but I'm a cocktail of social ineptitude, I've avoided this stuff for so long that I feel like I just missed the boat and I'm now basically a lost cause. I won't consider online dating either as I'd probably end up using it as a fap app, maybe one day in the future but swiping through pics of women definitely isn't a good thing for me right now.

I don't know, maybe nofap will help fix my brain or at least give it a nudge in the right direction, it had positive results on my dick before so here's hoping.

 

Hey, do not go to an escort just to lose your virginity - there's no point. I would say forget about that stuff. You say that some days it doesn't matter to you right? If you're like me, those are the days when you feel self-confident, am I right? If so, work on your confidence in yourself - I believe that if you're a virgin, but don't make a big deal out of it, a girl will not make a big deal out of it either.

You're not a lost cause just because you didn't have sex earlier, c'mon man - it's your limiting beliefs talking.

I think that it might be that you still think that sex is the most important thing in the world - so if you suck at it, you're worthless. I think that girls are much more tolerant than you think. And sex is just a part of the world, not all of the world - and I know what I'm talking about because I also thought that way.

As regards talking to girls and creating an opportunity to talk to them. Attend a dancing course where you swap your partners all the time during a given class (actually it's the only valid way to learn how to social-dance properly). You'll have PLENTY of opportunities to talk to girls in and out of class. I've had my fair share of those (I'm a dance instructor now) and there's even a group of people (guys as well as girls) who attend a course SOLELY to find a partner - and quit as soon as they find one. You can be one of those if you're not interested in dancing that much.

 

virginity is a virtue is not something to be teased
it takes a minute to lose your virginity, call a prostitute and lose your virginity, but you will also lose your soul.
go ahead so you will find a girl you love and you will do it with her

 

I understand your feeling. I had the same feeling for a long time, I was in my mid 20's. But actually, I was thinking about it so much that it kept away the love and the sensual experience. At the moment I was very happy, in the end I was sad it wasn't what I expected it to be.

So just try to let it go, enjoy the moment with your date, your girl, and automatically you will flow into it. Also don't give yourself pressure to perform as you saw on all these video's, just enjoy and do what you both like.
I've been there, it's easier said than done I know...

Afterall, it's not a big deal, only in your own head .

 

I can relate. I just don't know how it works for other people. I know how people meet but I don't know how they get closer. When I meet a woman I can talk normally and even make a friend but I just can't imagine how to act romantically, like touch, let alone kiss. I guess this is because my crushes were never reciprocal. It's always puzzled me and probably always will.

 

At least you can talk normally so that's something to build from, I've isolated myself for so long that I've basically forgotten how to even do that.

The only woman I've had any kind of conversation with all these years is the girl who cuts my hair but that's just 90% her talking and me listening, not her fault as I just don't give much back. I'm also bored to tears having to listen to anyone talk in general but again that's all on me. I wasn't like this as a kid, I could talk and flirt with girls just fine back then but I don't know, it just all went wrong somewhere and I don't know if there's any way back for me now.

Maybe nofap can help jump start my brain.

 

Ok, man. I don't know if you are depressed, you might be since you doubt whether there's any way back for you. I highly recommend the book entitled "The Slight Edge" by Jeff Olson. This book gave me hope several years ago, I forgot about it and I recalled it - and the philosophy it preaches - today and it lifted me up. Maybe it will lift you up too.

I think that, unfortunately, the willingness to "come back" is a pitfall: we can't. It's just not possible even though it would be great. The only way is forward. I know what I'm talking about - I would also like to come back and repair some (a lot of?) mistakes I made in the past. But I can't. The upside here is that you said that you used to talk and flirt with girls - biologically speaking, you still have those circuits in your brain and you will "learn back" the skill much faster than if you had to acquire it from scratch.

As regards being bored to tears - high five! I'm one of those people who think that 95% of what is being said socially nowadays is bullshit and who often also "don't want to live on this planet anymore."

 

I lost my virginity to a prostitute when I was 23. I know how you feel. I recommend hiring a prostitute, plain and simple. It's legal in Nevada so I went there. I don't regret it at all.

 

Prostitution didn't do that for me it felt really great and now I am less nervous and depressed as I was before, which has led to more success with women. But no pressure do what you think is right for you.

 

There is not a issue being a virgin, just cuz everybody is doing it that you gotta do it too. Chillax bro, it will happen when it is supposed to, when ur married, the RIGHT WAY. keep it together big man

 

I'm 35 and thought I was gay for about 15 years. Still never had sex with a woman, but am determined to do this. Not just for the sake of it, but the right way for me, which means there has to be some sort of connection. A good manosphere post I read from a decent blog said the worse you feel about yourself, the more you idealise women, when in fact just having sex with any woman will get you moving in the right direction, but I don't feel able to go down that route. If I haven't given up, then neither should you.

 

im 24 , virgin , from age 11 i did not got to talk with any girl ,bcz of my school rules and im mechanical student i.e no girls in my class . 13 years no girls in my life (feels bad).

but i dreamed of getting a girlfriend and living a peaceful and happy life .but but but many times i feel that its just dream ,not real , so i get depress that im at 24 still no girls in my life .it made me PMO many times. after every PMO i feel that i want to be with my happy girlfriend but that too dreams.

Also when my friends say that he going out with his girlfriend i get depressed inside(that why im not having anything like that in my life) it too some time made me PMO .

Now i not know how to speak with girls (13 years not spoken to girls as friendly too), also i did not find an environment to friendship with girls. PMO made my dirty and when i look something my mind creates sex images and stories out of it(dreams).

Can some one say some solution for that . i think nofap could help , but i not think it will fix full things of my girl problems.

In nofap i taken hard decisions now:
NO PMO(90 days) ,
Fix my brain dreams about sex.
Going to start slight cardio at day 15 ,then weight train at day 30 ( Because i feel like ,i want to give time for my body to recover from PMO damage, then start workouts) .
Started reading MEGALIVING book .
Also started a process for my goal(stock market).

BUT BUT BUT my doubt.
1.) Should i need to stop dream about having a good life with one girlfriend even ,in dreams i got married too(i should leave because its dreams?)
2.) can i be normal or even attract girls in my life and lead happy life with them after at nofaps or that girls fear will be problem.

 

Hi man,

Off course you can dream of that, no problem with that.

Nofap should help you in finding the confidence to talk to girls.

But know that this Will be also a learning path, stay grounded and go for it!

Just my 5 cents

 

Damn, there are so many socially awkward guys just like me when on the surface you would say there is nothing wrong.... This a sign of dysfunctional society for sure

 

Don't be to concerned about losing virginity just for the sake of doing it.
Keep striving towards the goal of resetting your brain.
Fapping takes away any desires to pursue any real relationships. Focus on cleaning up and then that's the goal. But desire true intimacy not just a fleeting moment.
Honestly a lot of heartache could be saved if we didn't focus so much on just sleeping around.
Once the fog starts to clear and you get about a week or two in you can truly see the benefits and to why you should keep going. In time once you have dealt with this you will attract the right one.

 

Just focus on getting through today.

One day at a time.

 

What helps me immensely is to keep a daily journal - be it a written or electronic one. I keep one here on noFap - you can have a look if you want. I write down the total number of days since I started my journal, the total number of PMO-free days since then and my current streak - the first two numbers are very important because if you lose your streak, you can see that you are not starting from square one again, but you already have XYZ number of days PMO-free. Then I proceed to write down what I have accomplished on the given day. At times, I put in some thoughts of mine if I think I have something important to say. The thing is - keep it EVERY SINGLE DAY.