Day 1 No Porn. I need advice!

Sobretension · Jun 16, 2020

Hi everybody.

I'm 19 years old and I have done PMO for at least 6 years. During this time, I sometimes had problems with my erections while being intimate with a girl. Recently, I started dating a girl that I really like, and I'm having one of the most meaningful relationships I've ever had. The problem is, even now that I despise every aspect about porn and I haven't masturbated to it since last month, I don't seem to be able to obtain a full erection while being with her. Yesterday I tried to see if i could get one by watching porn and I had one full erection in just 2 minutes. Judging by this, and the fact that I don't have any illness other than Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism (which is treated) I've decided to start my journey here and stop PMO, since that is the main root to my problem, a problem that sadly has been with me for far too long.

Some things that I really wanted to ask you guys are:
- Your experiences with nofap and what should I do while being in it (exercise, meditating, etc.)
- How long does the flatline last
- If it is ok to be intimate with my girl during this process (I've read that it is beneficial to be intimate during nofap, and even masturbate while thinking about your girlfriend/boyfriend, as long as porn isn't implicated)
- How to deal with stress (I'm a med student so I'm really stressed most of the time, I wanted to know how to deal with it, specially during flatline)
- Who should I tell about this

Every experience regarding any of those topics I previously wrote is of really high value to me, so please, write as much as you want.
Thanks and have a good day!

(Edit) I'm making a journal for anyone to read

nick323 · Jun 16, 2020

Hi buddy. I will write on the points.
1) At nofap, you are depriving yourself of a serious source of dopamine, so you need to find yourself another source of dopamine (sports, walking in the evening, learning something new). I don’t know about meditation, can someone write.
2) Everyone has a flat line in different ways depending on what damage was done. Therefore, you better keep a diary and document your condition.
3) I'm in hard mode, I don’t know. Maybe someone else will tell you.
4) In nature, evolutionarily, stress is a hormonal regulator of the need for adaptation. Normally, it is balanced by either testosterone or norepinephrine. Therefore, you need physical activity (gym, horizontal bars, expander, running, walking). If you work physically, you can do breathing exercises or find some kind of hobby (sticking airplanes and fish, if you don’t have any dependency, you can watch different useful channels).

Sobretension · Jun 16, 2020

nick323 said: ↑

Hi buddy. I will write on the points.
1) At nofap, you are depriving yourself of a serious source of dopamine, so you need to find yourself another source of dopamine (sports, walking in the evening, learning something new). I don’t know about meditation, can someone write.
2) Everyone has a flat line in different ways depending on what damage was done. Therefore, you better keep a diary and document your condition.
3) I'm in hard mode, I don’t know. Maybe someone else will tell you.
4) In nature, evolutionarily, stress is a hormonal regulator of the need for adaptation. Normally, it is balanced by either testosterone or norepinephrine. Therefore, you need physical activity (gym, horizontal bars, expander, running, walking). If you work physically, you can do breathing exercises or find some kind of hobby (sticking airplanes and fish, if you don’t have any dependency, you can watch different useful channels).
Click to expand...

Thanks for the advice nick. I've started to do exercise and I find it really helpful.
And I will make myself a diary when I hit flatline.

nick323 · Jun 16, 2020

Good luck Sobretension. Glad to help.

RamboErecto · Jun 16, 2020

Go day 90

the best of luck

Sobretension · Jun 16, 2020

MercyOverpowersAnger said: ↑

These are some of things that worked for me to 'fix' ED but it might also work for you:

- Lessen the masturbation. Doing no PMO will help a lot.
- Workout. This is genuinely great for so many reasons.
- Eat the right type of food. A healthy diet = a healthy mind.
- Reduce your drink intake. If you smoke, take drugs, that too.
- If you are a prone masturbator, stop that immediately.
- Honestly, you also need to stop being nervous / overthinking. This can happen involuntarily but you need to be in control.

As for the other questions:

- I tend to spend more time on here when I'm online, than other websites.
- Interact with the members. They are super friendly and everyone will offer their time to help.
- If you have a girlfriend, and you trust her, I would personally tell her. She could help you overcome this addiction.
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Thanks for replying!! After reading your thread, I knew that your point of view would be extremely helpful, as you seemed really serious and determined.

I plan to follow the advice that you told me. Specially the part about being less nervous, I need to get relaxed when I'm intimate with a girl.
I also wanted to ask, do you think that having sex/oral sex/cuddling is harmful while rebooting? I've read that it's the exact opposite

Sobretension · Jun 16, 2020

RamboErecto said: ↑

Go day 90

the best of luck
Click to expand...

Hola rambo. Veo que sos de España jajajaj, yo soy de Argentina. Saludos y gracias por tu respuesta

Quiero preguntarte una cosa, debería apuntar a 90 días o ir de 30 a 60 a 90 viendo como me siento?

RamboErecto · Jun 17, 2020

Hola. Soy de Argentina pero vivo en España.

Si te limitás a hacerte una paja X día te vas a terminar haciendo una paja incluso antes. Mi consejo es siquiera contar los días.

Saludos

thedeskman43 · Jun 17, 2020

Hey man, I'm at day 10 right now. I'm also a student and have quite a lot of stress from time to time. I always thought that pmo was a great relief for that, but in fact it makes things a lot worse. Masturbating will relief stress for a very short period of time, but after that the stress levels will get worse. I believe it's the same as eating foods with high-levels of sugar: they give you an extreme energy boost but after some time you feel very down and feel the need for that sugar again and get dependent of it (you're a med student so correct me if I'm wrong lol). So you will definitely have a lot of moments on which you are very stressed and would normally do pmo to get calm again. Those are quite uneasy moments you have to put yourself through. A great way for me to deal with the stress-peaks is by working out or going for a walk. The urge to pmo on those moments is a habit that you've created over time and really the only way to escape that habit is by changing what induces the habit or, in case you can't change that, learning your brain that the trigger that used to trigger pmo now triggers something else (like working out) or learn yourself to ignore the trigger so it'll disappear.

Also, when you are very close to a relapse, taking a cold shower will most likely do the thing.

Here's something else I found on the forum which I think is extremely useful advice:
Be aware that your primitive brain makes connections between addiction and ambient environment. for example, if you always watch P and M in the bedroom, you need to change furniture there. Make sure your bedroom look different. Just make the place that you use to exercise addiction look different so that your brain does not get triggered.
I didn't change the furniture in my room, but just being aware of it that this is how the brain works has helped a lot. Knowing that when I enter my room to study my brain ignites this signal of hornyness just because I enter the room has helped me to suppress the urges.

That's most advice I can give atm. I'm just a rookie myself.
Feel free to message me in case you want to. Having someone to talk to definitely can't hurt.

Sobretension · Jun 17, 2020

MercyOverpowersAnger said: ↑

Ah. I'm glad you feel that way. This forum will help you a lot in your recovery, make sure to realise its full potential.

People have their own opinions about that. Some people have found it helpful and some have found it harmful. It will be up to you to decide what works best for you.

Personally, if I am experiencing ED, I would avoid the touching (or the like) just so that I can recover properly and quickly. But there is nothing absolute. Different things work for different people.
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Thanks. I feel really lost right now. I don't know if I have ED or PIED to be honest. If I had PIED in the first place, I wouldn't be able to have at least a 50% erection, which hasn't happened. I need to be more relaxed around my girl

Boxerito · Jun 17, 2020

It may seem a silly advice but try to read a novel that really captures your attention. It will transport into a parallel universe free from the shackles of addiction. Put yourself into shoes of another person (the characters of a novel) instead of the "me me me" plea of addicts.

Sobretension · Jun 17, 2020

leddesklamp43 said: ↑

Hey man, I'm at day 10 right now. I'm also a student and have quite a lot of stress from time to time. I always thought that pmo was a great relief for that, but in fact it makes things a lot worse. Masturbating will relief stress for a very short period of time, but after that the stress levels will get worse. I believe it's the same as eating foods with high-levels of sugar: they give you an extreme energy boost but after some time you feel very down and feel the need for that sugar again and get dependent of it (you're a med student so correct me if I'm wrong lol). So you will definitely have a lot of moments on which you are very stressed and would normally do pmo to get calm again. Those are quite uneasy moments you have to put yourself through. A great way for me to deal with the stress-peaks is by working out or going for a walk. The urge to pmo on those moments is a habit that you've created over time and really the only way to escape that habit is by changing what induces the habit or, in case you can't change that, learning your brain that the trigger that used to trigger pmo now triggers something else (like working out) or learn yourself to ignore the trigger so it'll disappear.

Also, when you are very close to a relapse, taking a cold shower will most likely do the thing.

Here's something else I found on the forum which I think is extremely useful advice:
Be aware that your primitive brain makes connections between addiction and ambient environment. for example, if you always watch P and M in the bedroom, you need to change furniture there. Make sure your bedroom look different. Just make the place that you use to exercise addiction look different so that your brain does not get triggered.
I didn't change the furniture in my room, but just being aware of it that this is how the brain works has helped a lot. Knowing that when I enter my room to study my brain ignites this signal of hornyness just because I enter the room has helped me to suppress the urges.

That's most advice I can give atm. I'm just a rookie myself.
Feel free to message me in case you want to. Having someone to talk to definitely can't hurt.
Click to expand...

Thanks man. I will take into account most things that you said. I've told my father about this and he is incredibly supportive about this. I plan to do a 30 day no PMO and only have relationships with my girl. As of now, I'm not sure if i have ED (it's been 1 year since I've been intimate with someone, which is a lot of time) or PIED. For me, porn seemed to be like a faster way to get O so I don't think it is PIED, but time will allow me to tell.

And thanks for allowing me to message you if I need. It means a lot

Sobretension · Jun 17, 2020

Day 2 (I think I messed up with the tracker).
I feel lost. I've decided that I will try to cure my bad habit of prone M, even if it isn't that serious, and give up P for ever. I'm seeing my girl this weekend. I don't feel able to achieve an E, maybe that's because I'm feeling really low. Realizing that I might have PIED is keeping me back in a lot of aspects and giving me a little anxiety. Now I will listen to some music to feel better and then I will study until night.
Edit: It's crazy, because I don't feel an urge to watch P, now that I despise it. As I saw one time before that I didn't watch P for 3 weeks, my flatline can start really early.
I will get 30 days done and dusted

Sobretension · Jun 17, 2020

MercyOverpowersAnger said: ↑

Regardless of whether it is ED or PIED, your action plan should be the same. I think you're overthinking a lot and this is making you even more stressed and anxious. Think positive. You have realised theres a problem with you and you've taken action to remedy it. This is fantastic. Don't be so harsh on yourself.

Find activities which will send you to a good mood - working out, spending time with family, films etc. So, when you meet your girlfriend you're more relaxed rather than a nervous wreck lol
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Yeah I need to relax a bit lol. I'm doing exercise this night so that I can be more tired and overall sleep better. I need to stop being so harsh on myself.

Also, thanks for your words. They mean a lot

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