Why would most guys not even consider giving up their technical devices to get over porn addiction?

awesome thread, and very fruitful argument, I guess as summer son puts it

different methods may or may not work for everyone. Just try different methods and decide for yourself. For me, I was able to decrease my internet usage time but i could not cut it completely. It is a significant platform for my education during the lock-down and i stay connected with my friends. I significantly decreased my aimless surfing on the internet like watching random staff on Youtube, Twitter and Instagram, where you'd probably stumble on some intriguing images. However, I tried desensitizing those stimuli by reacting differently to them and conditioned myself not to behave in reaction to seeing beautiful models or thinking about explicit staff, I read about this process on YBOP and is quite risky. it led me to relapse last year but I guess nowadays I started following activists who criticize porn as a trafficking industry and abusing people, including minors and people who have not consented to be filmed. I started seeing the real colors of this embellished human objectification, I became empathetic to the porn users as well as the models. I started seeing it as morally inappropriate and I started realizing that normal relationships with real-life partners is far better than this lonely tunnel leading to nowhere, but misery, anxiety and loneliness. whenever, I get an urge I start imagining what may happen afterwards, will I edge and keep on, then what ?, I started realizing that the pleasure is just short-term and therefore i became more rational. Whatever method you have inserted to block websites you'll be able to bypass it, we become so creative and smart to break those barriers, some may even find pleasure by escaping those challenges.

 

I'm curious why didn't using porn blockers help you? What kind did you use? I'm using an app called Detoxify for my phone and its works really well. I cant change the setting without a pin and the pin was randomly selected by the app so I don't know it. I can request to change my pin but it will take 24 hours.

 

I've done/do a lot of the things you mention. Hadn't thought of grayscaling, though, so just took a minute to adjust the brightness/contrast/colour settings on my monitor. It's a lot less bright now, even if it's not true grayscale. I can feel my eyes adjusting - thanks for the tip! Will need to DDG 'before launcher'...

 

Because porn blockers create a lot of pressure on me, also when I put a blocker on my any device, it blocks some kind of webpages like YBOP or other unrelated websites. Porn addiction is also internet addiction, it is 'arousal' addiction and that's why I put some tools that I have mentioned. I fixed my devices as boring as possible especially when I am surfing on the net which I try to use more controllable behaviour if I do.

 

My porn blocker is specifically for porn so it almost never blocks unrelated sites unless you include escort sites. Not sure what you mean by it creating a lot pressure for you but wouldn't that be a good thing?

 

What porn blocker you use brother? Once I used k9. That helped a lot. But k9 is not exist anymore

 

I use Detoxify for android.

 

I'm actually going to try this, one week no internet(or phones/tv) starting from tomorrow.

Obviously that's only short-term compared to the time needed to reboot but we'll see how it goes. It's not like I really do anything constructive online anyway tbh and I think it'll do me good to take a break.

 

Amen .

 

Well, I work with IT, so, yeah, good luck getting rid of electronic devices when you need them for work.

Plus. I don't, the problem with fapping and different from all other addictions is that you ALWAYS have the most important gear with you all the time, unless you have a detachable dick, if you do, please tell me how... Only joking really. But, well, even without eletronics, lets say you go outside and see a really really good looking woman?

But, Yeah, I totally agree, if you are not dependent from electronic devices, get rid of them.

 

some of your struggles resonate with me Roady.
i empathize with your efforts. i will remember you and other men on this site and to pray for daily deliverence and be shaped into His image.

in my practise of sobriety , i needed to practise my 'fire alarm' drill with another christian guy.
'i looked at porn today.' actually, i didn't that was only a drill.

the idea behind a fire alarm drill is to be able to say without hesitation and keeping any secret thoughts that i'm having trouble or i'm doing stuff that hurts and erodes my sobriety.

i used to do this fire alarm drill with an accountability partner in person. after 3 years, he got busy by being accepted as a deacon for a church - huge responsibilities in caring for the church.

i need someone else to do those fire alarm drills now, on a regular monthly basis.
thanks for listening Roady.

 

As much we would like to believe the contrary, "our willpower is limited"("The willpower instinct" - Kelly McGonigal). I really wish we were that rational and virtuous as to give up our vices since we consider them harmful, but certain external factors (fatigue, sadness, frustration etc.) that appear from other day-to-day sources do not allow us to do such. If you're trying to quit sugar and you suddenly get angry or extremely tired, you are much more likely to grab a snack than in the morning after the coffee effects hits in.

It is then suggested to make "getting the sugar" as difficult as possible, so if you're trying to quit, there should be no sugar around that you could easily consume. This sounds like common sense, yet we often fail to apply the exact same principle in different domains in our lives.

Yes, giving up electronic devices or (very heavily) restricting them would be great, since whenever urges hit it would be too difficult for you to get to porn and in the meantime you will reconsider your decisions. However giving them may not be optional since we need them for work/socializing/scheduling etc. and heavy restrictions can still be avoided like obstacles ( because of the hundreds of porn sites out there). I recommend you try to do something in this aspect, but it is a lot more complicated than throwing all the sugar in the bin.

 

I really wish Detoxify existed for desktops and laptops.

 

I mean, I learned about fasting, ketosis, a lot of best exercises to do at home with the pandemic, I use devices to invest in the market AND learned about nofap with a device... The same device that ruined almost ruined my with games.

They are just tools these gadgets, blame your use of them, not the tools themselves. I think they do wonders for learning for instance.

 

I was hoping I would come up on something like this in the forums, I messed up after a long time. I always used to use an old ipod touch to look up P but today I destroyed it and I'm genuinely curious as to what kind of blockers I can use for the phone... or the computer. I always used to imagine destroying that device because it was used for nefarious purposes. I would have thought I'd feel awful for smashing it up but I feel so relieved. I'm done being sorry every time I relapse, I'm going to be better and take twice as many cold showers or whatever other precautions it may take!

 

you're doing the right thing to get well ! Stay at it.
i've been there and i'm on the journey of sobriety for my own wellness, to keep my marriage with my beautiful wife and enjoy the life with my 2 kids. This is what's worth fighting for !

 

Fight the fight. The porn industry would have our souls, like the cigarette co's in the 60s who claimed smoking was healthy for you. Choose today to be sober. Stay the course. We want to be saved men, free from bondage, alive to wellness again. We want our lives back, normalcy. Porn has robbed us of years, opportunities, money. It has damaged relationships. Be free, stay free. Care about your choice, we can heal our minds and bodies. It's working, keep on going. Resources: Your Brain on Porn

 

Its been 4 years now without smartphone. It was the only way i realized i could get of porn's grip. However life can be tough without a smartphone. To live without communications m3dium lik whatsapp google maps is very tough,and almost eerything hapens over internet today. So it can be quite challenging. Recenly i was thinking of getting a sartphone, but now i am like No. I dont need one.

 

Self respect huh. Good luck with that.

 

1. My employment is predicated upon me being able to respond to text messages instantly. I don't think many of you remember how hard it is to write a text on a flip phone, but I'll say this paragraph would have taken me 15+ minutes, and if it was something that needed to get sent to my employer, he would call me in a rage before I finished it for ignoring him.

2. When my porn usige was heaviest it still acounted for 0.125% of my overall technology use by minute. Giving up the 99.875% for the 0.125% would be a difficult value exchange for me. I spend most of my time talking to my Church, my grandma, my parents, my employer, not watching porn. It helps me feel connected, ESPECIALLY with the Covid-19 lockdown breaking all contact with my friends and family. If I wasn't able to contact them on Facebook, they would never contact me, leaving me nearly utterly alone.

3. I use my tech devices to watch my Church services as we were driven out of our worship spaces. While I have a personal foundation in Christ, I find that I do need my Church as well to help me maintain my faith, and keep me from slipping. While I could do this walk alone, I admit my faith gets shaken if I spend too much time alone.

4. A smartphone is like a grocery store, you can buy the food to make you obese, you can buy enough alcohol to kill you outright. You can buy food that will maintain an ideal weight and health. I'm obese and don't blame the grocery store for my obesity. I know I could hang in the produce isle, but I prefer beef and baguettes and milk.