110 days - how my life has changed

Hi everyone.
I'm in NOFAP mode since 110 days and my life has changed radically.
I started when one day I met a fantastic girl (my girlfriend) and at the end of a very beautiful day spent together, she came in my place and we tried to make love... but I couldn't perform.
I was shocked, depressed and severally worried. I was not doing sex from 7 endless years and I met an amazing woman, and now I cannot perform? Risking to lose her forever??? Unacceptable. My life needed a change.

I started to read. Simply "performance anxiety"? Yes, can be but... I knew that something was not ok, because I was not having morning erections, because I was used to masturbate on porn, mostly not having full erections. Sometimes failing to come masturbating. Like the day before I met this wonderful woman. I was trying to come masturbating on some crappy and disgusting videoclip of some eastern girl urinating, and I couldn't have an orgasm. I was feeling incredibly bad, humiliated and a shadow of a man.

My sexual past doesn't help: I had sex three times (without orgasm) in my all twenties (first time I was 25) , and it was my first time in my thirties.

I discovered NOFAP and I studied all the phenomena (PIED, DE, deathgrip etc), read countless stories, logs, success stories. I applied the advice given here. I've been honest with this girl that I was dating, and she became my number one supporter. She never had this problem with any other man so she was surprised that I couldn't have erections at all the first times we met... Then I started to have again but were so inconsistent. It was frustrating to say the least: if she was not ready I was going to lose the erection and maybe have it back one hour later. I could not change position because my penis was becoming soft during the intercourse. I could not come at all. She was also frustrated but she never stopped to support me.

Eventually things went better and better. Last weekend I came three times and have consistent erections all the time. The sensitivity is much better. In general I can improve a lot more, but there are no doubts that I have to be consistently NOFAP!

So this is what I did:
- I never watched porn at all again. Not even for a second.
- I indulged in some porn substitute a bunch of times, wrong move... but they have much less effect then when I was constantly fapping.
- Sometimes when during sex I couldn't have an orgasm, I masturbated to finish the job. I did it with my girlfriend, though. One week I was missing my girlfriend so much that I edged thinking of her. These relapses probably set me a little back, but at least were consistent in my purpose of having sexual pleasure only putting her as a target. She's my everything.

Failure was not an option. I had some bad moment but I could overcome them because my motivation was so big. It was enough to think of her to have enough strength to resist the urges.

NOFAP didn't change only the way my dick was working. It changed my brain. I was often staring at girls with nice legs or nice butt, to then go home and masturbate (with porn obviously). I was seeing women as objects. Now I see them as women and I see that my reaction to attractive women is very different. I see more details: the hairs, the makeup, the way they walk, theirs smile, the taste in choosing their outfit. I no longer stare but smile, and I started to notice women smiling at me. I feel better and more confident. I'm much less lazy and I don't spend valuable time in very unimportant things. I'm living an healthier life and I'm learning every day new things. I am more adult.

My NOFAP journey has just begun, 110 days ago.

I hope that this thread can be useful to you guys t0 have some extra motivation, the same way as it has been very useful to me to read your success stories. Keep strong men, stay away from porn, live your life. Love.

 

Thank you man! You definitely have to keep going The worst period is the first one, when you arrive at 75 days it will quickly become 90, 100, 120, 200 I think you will soon write a success story

Thanks! I'm (like everyone else here) very familiar with flatlines. I had flatlines when I was with my girlfriend. Sometimes you improve and then you have 1-2 weeks of flatline that set you back and leave you and your girlfriend frustrated. But then after the flatlines are finished you have big improvements! It is like a tunnel. It is dark, but in the end you see the light and when you're outside there is a lovely sunny clear sky that waits for you. Keep going! You will eventually feel much better and more confident about yourself, and that it will be the moment that women start to notice you. Focus on your biggest interests and try to discover something new. Girls (the very good ones) love this Good luck!

 

Thank you guys!
@NewStart2015h , it is for every one different. My principal fetish were legs. upskirt and teenagers, and in this perspective youtube can be even worse than porn (where you can easily find material loaded by very young teenager themselves to use to your own pleasure - hotties dancing in a miniskirt playing dumb sexy moves? outstandingly sad). I masturbated on this many time, and I was feeling like a fucking sick pervert, considering that also never in my life I for a single second considered to have sex with so young ladies - excluded when I had their age. Fortunately I never went through pornography of this type (I could not imagine anything more disgusting, oh yes there is something, but this is pretty huge too).
After I don't remember how many days.. 30? 40? I realized that I completely lost this fetish and I cannot understand anymore how could I find it arousing. They now appear like they really are. Not complete women, doing stupid things to appear sexy, followed by an incredible amount of perverts that can't wait to fap on it (and I was one of them). I don't see them as sexy anymore. The relief I feel about this is incredible, I was seriously worried about myself.
So this was one of my porn substitute I indulged a little bit, to then find it not arousing anymore (with the greatest of my happiness). The other were dancers and athletes in sexy outfits, much more innocent but still something I decided to eliminate. Why?
Well, not only it is a trigger, but it contributes on the objectification of the woman.
And whilst I don't consider having sexual desire for another person betraying, I decided to consider fapping using other people than my girlfriend betraying. Having this type of relapse for me is not an option. The sex with my girlfriend is becoming more and more wonderful and I don't want to spoil everything.
The last reason is that it is not only a trigger, but it can also set you back even if less than actual porn.

 

Thank you very much for your support guys! I hope you can all succeed too!
I'm still in the process and I'm still having very important improvements.

 

I answered to this already:

"Thank you guys!
@@NewStart2015h , it is for every one different. My principal fetish were legs. upskirt and teenagers, and in this perspective youtube can be even worse than porn (where you can easily find material loaded by very young teenager themselves to use to your own pleasure - hotties dancing in a miniskirt playing dumb sexy moves? outstandingly sad). I masturbated on this many time, and I was feeling like a fucking sick pervert, considering that also never in my life I for a single second considered to have sex with so young ladies - excluded when I had their age. Fortunately I never went through pornography of this type (I could not imagine anything more disgusting, oh yes there is something, but this is pretty huge too).
After I don't remember how many days.. 30? 40? I realized that I completely lost this fetish and I cannot understand anymore how could I find it arousing. They now appear like they really are. Not complete women, doing stupid things to appear sexy, followed by an incredible amount of perverts that can't wait to fap on it (and I was one of them). I don't see them as sexy anymore. The relief I feel about this is incredible, I was seriously worried about myself.
So this was one of my porn substitute I indulged a little bit, to then find it not arousing anymore (with the greatest of my happiness). The other were dancers and athletes in sexy outfits, much more innocent but still something I decided to eliminate. Why?
Well, not only it is a trigger, but it contributes on the objectification of the woman.
And whilst I don't consider having sexual desire for another person betraying, I decided to consider fapping using other people than my girlfriend betraying. Having this type of relapse for me is not an option. The sex with my girlfriend is becoming more and more wonderful and I don't want to spoil everything.
The last reason is that it is not only a trigger, but it can also set you back even if less than actual porn."