35 and Older Accountability Group

How do you manage dopamine levels? I have no idea what that means.

 

I don't know exactly. I think that it's another way of saying "controlling urges".

I've been going with the loose plan of doing something different when I feel an urge or see one which is on its way. Almost a kind of "retraining". Maybe. Ish.

 

Friday check in. Find myself considering the wrong path but I force myself to think of how I will feel if I do. Feel shit, don't get work done, etc....

 

Been on a bit of a binge this week. I think I was in denial about it. Like if I just look at porn for 10 minutes it's not a problem. Until today when it was 5 hours.

 

Well I’m back to zero. I hit rock bottom because I’ve gone back to youtube as well.
It’s funny. The way we talk about hitting rock bottom and having to start over; we all sound like were trying to quit hard core drugs or something. I guess be thankful that were not. Of all the drugs in the world to be addicted to I’ll take this one over just about any of the other ones. Listen to me talk. Yep I’m definitely in a funk. Last time I rebounded within about 24 hours. I got to be careful or I won’t rebound this time for a month.

 

Totally agree. Imagine trying to quit a drug addiction with your only help being an anonymous online forum. We are very lucky in that respect.

 

At least now I know where I stand: I thought maybe I can just masterbate (because that’s natural) and quit porn. So I jerked it yesterday with that intent. I’ll just masterbate from now on. I’ve done the same with porn before as well. You can’t just do one because they all lead back to each other. A session of masterbation even with the best intent of only doing it once every 3 days or so lead to another binge. It seems the only way out is to quit PMO flat-out all together....

So Like I said before...At least now I know there is no shortcuts and I know where I stand....it’s all or nothing.

 

I relapsed tonight. I am having trouble getting back to the NOFAP lifestyle change but I will eventually get back on track. I keep falling for the "Just a peak" type of thoughts or "let me just check this picture out" thought which leads to P. I do a good job of noticing my thoughts but I haven't been doing a good job of redirecting my attention. I've been on this NOFAP lifestyle change for a few years now and I seem to struggle during the warming months.

 

Reset again, I need to get back that mindset.

 

Sorry guys I'm leaving the first place! I had a good run and as I read someone here, you don't lose anything, but you have won the experience to get back to the top. So @Jerky congrats take care of that #1 spot I'll get back there soon enough. lol

I hope you all get there, next time I'll go for 90 non stop!

 

I have found it effective to quit P first (while keeping M) and then move on to quit both. Think of it as methadone treatment.

 

I will do the best I can for today. I haven't been checking in for a while. I have been checking in on the 90 day challenge though. I will visit here more often, as I have been neglecting my membership. Grateful to be here. Thank you all.

 

I agree. I feel like we're not just battling addiction to porn but an addiction to sex in general. Masturbating doesn't help too much with that. Our brains need to rewire and get used to living a different life. It's the concept of neuroplasticity, an amazing thing but it takes a long time.

 

Hey everyone. Checking in on a sleepy Monday morning.

 

Relapsed (or reset?!) over the weekend. Can't even say why... Was not feeling urges, had no triggers. was just a little down. M was the easiest way to make me feel better. Obviously it did not. Just the opposite.
Starting today with renewed energy.

 

I'm resetting because I peeked at a scene I remembered from the past this morning, and then watched small fragments of some related videos.

It was the result of me indulging in a fantasy yesterday for a few minutes. I was playing out a certain situation in my head that I've seen versions of in a lot of videos and that always triggered me. I didn't watch anything yesterday, but just actively thinking about it as something positive and desirable (which I think in reality this situation really wouldn't be so much) set me up to watch a video of a scene like that today.

Watching the scene didn't really turn me on though, which made me realise: not doing PMO is actually not an effort at all, in fact, it's the opposite. For me to engage in this world of fantasy and getting turned on by it, that's what requires a huge effort. Every time I put time and intention and focus in trying to get excited. And I can simply choose to not do that.

 

I love this. What an excellent way to flip the situation. It's like you've just re-framed the whole thing and, because it can now be viewed from a different angle, it has no teeth.

Nothing to add - just bravo.

 

I’m in a tail spin. I’m trying to focus on why this is important. This evening I’ll need to recommit again.