Build a Life Not Habits

How many of you have been disciplined with your habits everyday along your nofap journey and yet you keep relapsing?

The same thing happened to me. (Check my post about how not all streak are equal.) But what I learned for that was having a life was way more powerful then having habits.


So what you can take a cold shower, or meditate everyday, or journal everyday. Guess what no one cares. And don’t get me wrong they have helped me in the past and still do help me to this day. But what’s more powerful is having a life; if I need to talk to a friend because I feel down they will pick a place and we go for a drink. Having family member you can always trust is amazing, and when I get bored of my capital city I go stay with my cousin who has a house by the lake. If I had a girlfriend I would sleep with her not my hand.


Having a life is the best antidote to a drug addiction. There is the age old experiment where a mouse was left in a box with water and cocaine dispenser. The mouse would choose the cocaine dispenser till it overdosed. But then that same mouse was placed in a mouse “Disneyland” with many other mousses. Guess what? the mouse rarely touched the cocaine dispenser.


You have to build a life worth living and you will be too busy living to want to watch porn and masturbate. Hang out with friends that make you happy, same goes for family. If you have terrible friends or family the good thing is that you get to choose your friends. If you like working out you can make friends at the gym, if you like art go to art classes or art exhibitions; that’s how I made friends while in Zambia after 2 years.

Yes I know with this whole covid-19 it’s harder but its either you make friend in real life or sink and get stuck in this endless cycle. It doesn’t stop there; you also need a hobby or two, for me it was drawing and karate.

Choose something that improves you as a person as you get better at it. And you can make friends where you practice your hobby. What about work? Is it fulfilling or enjoyable? Then do whatever you need to do to get another job or transferred inside your company.

These days you don’t need another university degree, you can go online and find certification in areas that can build your CV. Finally you need to start upgrading your life so that you feel like your moving up in life and not stuck in a cycle.


With a good social cycle, hobbies, being fit and better paying job you can become more attractive to women. Now you’re one step closer to having a girlfriend.


But most importantly being a better you.​