Would you date a girl who could...

Being sexually attracted to a woman is different than falling in love with one.

 

This is one I struggle with too. I have talked to men over the years who I’m fairly sure weren’t porn addicts that struggled with this situation as well, the desire to have a woman with a good heart and good looks.

I’m 52, single, never married, and no girlfriend. (Age in my profile is wrong). And I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d much rather have an average looking woman with a good heart than a woman that’s super attractive with bad character.

I’ve known lots of men that dated lots of very attractive women but ended up marrying a woman not so attractive but with a great heart. And I’ve known men that were married to very attractive woman but divorced and ended up with a woman not as attractive but with a good heart.

Not saying that happens all the time but I’ve seen it a lot.

What does that tell me? Stop worrying so much about her looks and concentrate on her character.

I went to a New Years party this past December 31 and there were several women there. One was a cute redhead that I was very attracted to. Another was a heavy set lady who I wasn’t so attracted to. I’ve since found out that the woman with the far superior character is the heavy set woman. She has a heart of gold while the redhead is an over sensitive super liberal femi-nazi. It was a good reminder to me not to get so caught up with looks.

 

I've been attracted to plenty of stereotypically ugly girls and plenty of stereotypically attractive girls. Maybe I can't speak for everyone, but I don't really get to choose who I fall in love with. My brain picks whoever it feels like and I have no choice but to say "well shit, alright I guess".

 

In my opinion you can date a girl like that and have a lot of fun with her, but never settle down with her in any kind of relationship.
As you described, only settle for a woman that is "Cook food really well, was amazingly smart and talented, independent, driven, and a great advisor" and IS aesthetically pleasing for you. Never settle for less than what you want. Never!

 

Not at all. That's just your fear talking, there are a lot of woman out there as good as her or even better.

And that's why you are not with her already so... you already know she is not the one. You are trying to convince yourself she is.. but deep inside you know she is not. Trust your guts on this one, move on.

At the end of the day is your choice, settle for someone that is not everything you want and have a mediocre wife, or give yourself the chance to know an amazing woman in the future.

 

100% right! attraction is not a choice. When you are attracted to a girl, you just can't handle it. She can be as ugly as it gets, but if you are attracted to her is not going to matter. And there are preaty ladies that all people find attractive but for some reason you don't. And no matter how much your friends told you she is hot, you are just no attracted.

 

I honestly would not or never had a problem being sexually attracted to average looking women. Especially if she has a great character.

 

a girl who knows what she wants in life and who's working on her goals. A goal-oriented person, so to speak. Knows how to cook, too. Good with conversing and has average looks, at least. I am describing my ex, lol.

 

Like it or not, attraction is an integral part of a relationship. Otherwise there's no reason you couldn't just marry your best friend regardless of gender.

Altho there is such a thing as unrealistic standards that will just leave you lonely forever, if you're not Brad Pitt in his prime, that is...