Life Reality check

Well, kind of strange that only now I post first time in this forum. I've been reading many stories about loneliness and I want to share mine with you.

I have been doing smart work since February and I got back to my hometown to avoid paying rent in the city. I hate my work because it is so misaligned with want I want to achieve in life and I got fooled by my actual company which promised me an heaven job and eventually gave me a shit job. But, I'm very competitive and full of ambition that I wanted to achieve promotion instead of thinking about my passion.

I do have a girlfriend and we go out just on Saturday night and sometimes on Sundays. I feel great with her but I have never said her "I love you". Doing smart work for so many months, I spend most of the time alone and I feel alone. I ask her to hang out more often but she refuses saying that she is very busy.

I love my family and I put all my energy and efforts in my job to help them to sustain their pension and get the life they deserve. But, despite my mother that is always there for me when I'm down, I do have my father telling me many times that I would have been a great mechanic while my ambition is to become CEO before my 40s.

I used to have lots of friends but travelling a lot didn't help me to maintain fulfilling releationships.

I feel in a rollercoaster of emotions many times and I wonder if I'm the only one.

I ask you a favour, give me an advice, whatever it is, I don't care, I'm full of ears and open to whatever you experience suggests. Of course feel free to answer or not.

Many thanks my friends

 

Yeah you are right, actually porn is the distraction you find eventually to get a boost in the short term. But the day after I feel shit

 

THe thing is that many times many things come together to a low point, and seems tough to get back on track on what you dream and what you want to achieve. I found also that boredom leads a lot to fapping in my case