39 y/o - I've been Addicted on PMO for 27 years now

Hello everyone

I'm 39 years old, I've been addicted to PMO for 27 years now,
I did PMO during my puberty, and excessively after my puberty 3-4 times a day, in the 90s it was different, it was through watching VCR video tapes and porn magazines, then by using the computer and then the super fast internet speed came in with that abundant porn on it.

When i was 19 i got addicted to drugs, then i met the love of my life and she was the reason for me to quit drugs and get married to her when i was 24, I'm still with her and she is very supportive and i have 3 kids.

I thought that marriage with the one I love will be the end of porn in my life, but guess what "it wasn't", my PMO continued side by side with my marriage, i never had any sexual short comings in my relation with my wife, but still having sex with her was not the most enjoyable sexual practice for me, mostly after having sex with her i go to watch porn, because i felt that that was something else and a different type of joy from the joy of having real sex.

i knew that porn is an addiction in 2016 by watching videos on you tube, and that was a shock and a discovery to me.

i have all the capabilities to be a very successful person in my work or in private business, but until today I'm still on the lowest grade of the engineers in my company and when i discovered that porn is an addiction that gives you instant gratitude which leaves you with no motivation i started understanding why I'm a failure in my practical life, and the private business that i once started and spent in it most of my money (then) failed also, as i really didn't have the motive to make it succeed, i remember when i used to sit alone in my new private office that i opened PMOing all day for days and not accomplishing anything for months until i closed it and back to my lowest grade of engineers in my company.

I tried to quit porn (without getting to know so much about the science behind that addiction) and it was not easy and I failed, then i started to listen to some videos on you tube to know some information about the NoFap (but not very detailed) then i started quitting seriously about 5 times and my maximum streak was 19 days until now.

Now i decided to participate in the NoFap community and reading more about the details of that addiction (not only listening), and i hope that i will find here the help that i need to quit that addiction and to taste life in the normal way that everybody else around me are tasting it and enjoying it and enjoying accomplishing things in it, I'm 39 year now and if don't do it now I'm worried that it will be too late for me, only now and i can be back on my feet and be a successful person, later it would be too late.

if you read so far: "thank you" and please wish me luck and success this time.

 

Thanks mate, i really need your support and all the others here too,
I feel that sharing with with others is bringing me a complete different prospective about this addiction and it makes conquering it achievable, I wish you too all the best bro and yes we will triumph over this addiction.

 

I'm starting Day 11 now, and I'm facing strong urges but I'm sticking strong to this and will not let it go, you too stay strong, and update me with your ongoing streak.

 

Yes I will, nice to see you again my friend