The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Very good brother. Keep it going!!!

you enter the ferry. Congratulations

 

well, don´t stay idle letting those contents enter your brain, that´s very dangerous. skip it or fast foward the scenes, it´s the best move.

 

yes brother, that´the right mindset. never give up!!

 

Keep going brother. We´re with you!!! And learn, write it down if you must, but learn. don´t miss this opportunity to grow . Let´s go brother!!!

 

Awesome brother. Rise!!!!

 

Very good brother. You crossed the Bruinen. Keep going!!!!

 

Awesome brother. Keep going, wise Gandalf the Grey!!!!

 

You´re entering the rocky maze of Emny Muil, where many lose the track. Be careful here brother, watch your step.

 

Excellent sis, keep fighting!!!!

 

One more day of walking brave Fellowship

Have a great Sunday!!! Love you all!!!!

Here´s JK with one more important message. Pay attention brothers and sisters, this is crucial.

"The most dangerous stage of your porn addiction"

Hey Winner!


Do you often find yourself thinking that your most recent slip or relapse was "random"?


That you just experienced a strong sexual urge out of "nowhere" and ended up watching porn again?


That’s a common misconception among men trying to end their behavior with porn and masturbation.


In reality, that seemingly random moment when you slipped wasn't the most dangerous stage of your behavior.


Your behavior with porn is part of a "cycle". There are a series of steps you need to get through before you arrive at the moment of a slip.


The most dangerous of these stages is the "dormant" stage.


This stage is the toughest to recognize because it lasts anywhere from weeks to month or even years!


Yes. Your addiction can actually lay dormant for YEARS.


A worrying thought indeed.


These longer periods fool you because you function quite well during these times.

You close more sales, get more clients, become more focused on projects, have an active sexual life with your wife, date more women, if you are single, improve your physique and fitness, and many more “normal” events which on the surface show no indication of an addiction.

These longer periods are also an opportunity for more compulsive behaviors to develop.

• An unhealthy addiction to work- especially if you take on an ambitious project in your career or start/ expand a business.

• A compulsive focus on exercise. You’re inspired to transform your physique and get on a strict gym and diet regimen. Outside of your work, this dedication to physical transformation consumes you.

• A dependence on alcohol or a new drug or prescription medication which allows you to be less inhibited, more focused, less depressed or some other effect that allows you to function quite well.

• A new relationship with an exciting, intoxicating woman filled with intimacy, sex and endless possibilities. You are determined to do everything in your power to make this your perfect relationship.

• A recently discovered belief system- religious, motivational, or otherwise which transforms your view of the world temporarily. You dive into it because it makes you feel different/makes more sense to you than anything which you’ve ever experienced.

However, dormancy does NOT equal rebooting. It doesn’t mean that your brain is rewiring and your behavior with porn is a thing of the past.

Far from it.

During the dormant stage, you may still watch porn or masturbate…on occasion. There is no binge, no lasting guilt and your busy life keeps you occupied.

The dormant stage buys you a few weeks, months or years of relative peace of mind and progress in your life.

But you will eventually relapse. This is just a stage of your addiction. Not the transformational life even which you mistake it for.

Over the past 9 years as a recovery coach and mentor, I’ve seen it over and over again. Here are a few common scenarios.
Which do you identify with or which have you experienced?

1) After months of enjoying the “honeymoon” phase of your new relationship, you have your first serious argument. Your feel good emotions turn sour. Or you find out that that the incredible, sexy, loving and committed woman who is so into you is still secretly hooking up with her ex.

2) Despite being married or engaged, you find that your vows mean jack shit to your biology. The sexual novelty and passion between you and your partner wanes. One day you find yourself fantasizing about some woman at work when just a few months ago, you only had eyes for your bride. Uncertain of how to rekindle intimacy in your relationship and figuring that “its better than cheating”, you masturbate to porn. A few days later, you’ve relapsed.

3) A former “fuck buddy” hits you up and snaps you out of the bliss of your new relationship. While your current partner is definitely “wife material”, this woman who reached out again was a freak in the sheets. You’d never marry her, but damn…it sure would be nice to have get a taste of that sexy body once more. “Maybe I can see her on the side?”, you wonder. You begin to justify its by comparing her to your current partner who isn’t as sexually adventurous or as exciting. Aroused by reminiscing on your past sexual encounters, you relapse.

You haven’t developed any skills to manage these negative emotion, so you fall back on your most dependable behavior- porn and masturbation.

4) The same applies to business and career. You experience you first negative revenue month, you find out that your business partner has been reporting your numbers wrong, the IRS hits you with a bill you can’t afford to cover, someone else is promoted over you.
The optimistic expenses you made over the past few months suddenly seem like frivolous, immature financial decisions. Filled with uncertainty and regret, you masturbate and watch porn…then continue to do so daily since its the only thing which takes the “edge” off your unfortunate and overwhelming financial situation.


5) In fitness, you hit a plateau and can’t make any more gains. Your gym closes due to coronavirus, you have an injury and your doctors tells you to pause your work out. Your abs disappear as you find out that your motivation for home workouts is zero and your diet falls apart. You begin to lose muscle mass and every time you look in the mirror you’re disgusted by what stares back at you. Your reflection becomes a reminder of your shortcomings.


6) You find out the new religious group you are a part of is filled with a bunch of hypocrites, the new motivational business group you are part of is actually a pyramid scheme, or the business/lifestyle guru you were following turns out to be a glorified conman. You are terribly disappointed, betrayed and ashamed of being “taken”. Not knowing how to express these feelings, and to embarrassed to let anyone know that you were fooled, these emotions eventually morph into anger and resentment which you medicate with porn and masturbation.


7) An unresolved traumatic event from the past is triggered. Past physical, sexual or emotional abuse. Despite your new distractions in life, despite the dormant stage, these scars remain. You experience a sudden state of “hyper arousal” brought on by your past trauma. This arousal period lasts for much longer than you are comfortable with. Upset at the recurrence of your trauma and surprised by the intensity of your arousal, you relapse.


8) After months of being at home with your wife and family, you suddenly have the opportunity to have some “alone time” on a business trip. Unsuspecting, you go on the trip and find yourself triggered when you are alone in your hotel room after a day of meetings/ your conference. You’re normal routine is thrown off. No kids to focus on, no wife to interact with…just time.
You turn on the hotel room/Airbnb TV, channel surf for a while, until you come across a triggering channel which you’d never watch at home. You skip past it because its “shocking” to you for a brief moment. But despite how many other channels you surf, your mind keeps bringing you back to that ONE channel. Before you know it, you’re watching it and fantasizing. Within a few minutes, you are masturbating to porn.


I would go on, but chances are, if you read to this point, you can identify with once of the scenarios above.

The solution is simple (but not easy).

Develop multiple coping strategies which are designed to deal with any of the situations which lead to a relapse. Make them a natural part of your lifestyle…strategies which are deployed AUTOMATICALLY when you are triggered.

If not, during the dormant stage, you’ll remain vulnerable to triggers, weeks, months or years after you have convinced yourself that you’ve recovered.

Your brother in this struggle,
J.K " Don't get fooled by the dormant stage" Emezi