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Why do some people keep reinforcing that porn is not bad?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ahighertruth, Jul 28, 2020.

  1. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    Porn is bad in any respect. It's only about the outside, not about real connection. It shows that sex is about performing not about love. It gives the impression it's okay to focus on the body only, not on the spirit. It's against our true nature, it's against everything that makes us human.
    Masturbation can be done very mindfully, connecting with the energy in the whole body. It can heal old wounds. If done with a soft touch and in a gentle way, it is a loving experience.
    Addiction is a pathway problem, as the YBOP videos show. Abstaining from PMO is just a temporary measure to clear the old pathways that were formed by the combination of watching P, hard M to achieve O. Clearing these pathways we can start living without P and with any sexual activity that is connecting and loving with ourselves, our bodies and our loved ones.
    For me MO may be part of that sexual activity, but only as a free choice, not as a compulsive part of my past. If it makes me truly happy, I know I'm at the right track. That is the difference with the old habit.
     
  2. mouton1998

    mouton1998 Fapstronaut

    Mine is a personal opinion, so you are free to accept it, reject it and discuss it.

    Many people who make articles, blogs and other media related to porn take for granted something that, for NoFap users is not, that is the question of self-control over their sexual impulses.

    Almost all of the people external to NoFap don't realize how difficult it is, for NoFap users like us, to keep a balanced relationship between time spent on porn and time spent on all other daily activities: they don't know what it means to have to fight against edging, not they know what it's like to see their life drained in front of a screen because of the lack of control over PMO. They don't know, because they simply don't have all these problems that we NoFap users face every day.
    In my opinion, it is the question of self-control that leads them to diminish this community; moreover the fact that there are some slightly outdated concepts of neroscience, some pseudo-scientific theories and some incels and patently misogynist users certainly does not help to improve the presentation of NoFap for external web users.

    One more thing: the "porn addiction", as we call, is still largely unexplored for now there are no universal criteria and unanimously accepted by the world community of psychologists to describe it, just as there is not even enough 100% certain evidence to prove its existence (understood as real addiction). In my opinion it is only a matter of time: in a few years the conception that even online porn can be pathological and linked to a drug will become a reality also in the scientific world; TV, newspapers and all other mass media will start talking about it and most porn consumers will reverse their opinion on their habits.

    Sorry for my bad English.
     
    Hardwork11 likes this.
  3. I'm just giving my opinion on the matter. Put simply, we feel like it's easier to watch porn than to not watch porn once addicted. So, instead of taking an effort to quit, it's a lot easier to just say that porn is OK. If something like NoFap comes along and makes a point saying that porn is bad, it's easier for the porn addict to say "NoFap is a hoax" than to actually quit. When they get information about the bad effects of porn, they dismiss it because they don't want to accept what they're doing is bad for them. Why porn addiction isn't taken seriously enough is because, unlike drugs, porn won't kill you. It can make you miserable but it won't give you bronchitis. Unfortunately, today porn is normal and that's what's ingrained in the minds of millions. Facts cannot always start a revolution. If porn ever will be considered to be bad like cocaine, it won't be anytime soon. It's hard to change everyone's opinions. NoFap isn't taken seriously by many because a lot of people (some even on this website) see NoFap as 'just a challenge.' Social media has popularized No Nut November. While it may be good not to nut for a month, social media has also popularized Destroy Dick December. Simply put people just don't want to change just as the alcoholic doesn't want to stop drinking.
     
  4. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    There are billions of dollars invested each year just to keep you dumb and clueless.
     
  5. So rebooting and quitting for good are different. I really should have read that stuff more carefully. So even NoFap is calling itself a challenge. That just makes things worse.
    I agree with you. I guess I'm not rebooting after all. I'm quitting for life.
     
  6. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    I'm glad to hear an expert talk about his expert knowledge. Congrats on your expertise.
     
    OhWhenThe likes this.
  7. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    Well, just in case you're interested, his videos are based on an enormous amount of research literature. You can read about it on his site www.yourbrainonporn.com. The knowledge is coming from his wife who is a scientist specialized in this field.
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2020
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  8. mr.incognito

    mr.incognito Fapstronaut

    Porn is bad because it's fake. It is a simulated experience that is substituted for the real thing.
    For straight males sex is primarily about the outside, because the primary consideration for us is that our partner is female. Sex only becomes a problem when it is an addictive behaviour, but most men can't become addicted to real sex because we can't attract enough females, but we would have if we had been put into the position to attain it i.e. money, power, and fame.

    This statement does not apply to straight males. It's actually terrible advice for us. But if you are asexual or something else then that's your thing I guess.
     
  9. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    Why not? It's content is convincing to me and fits with my experience.
     
    TheForsakeen likes this.
  10. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    Just because you say you debunked it, doesn't mean that you actually did. My experience is completely in line with the YBOP video and I'm not into Hocus-Pocus either.
     
    Searcher78 and Psalm27:1my light like this.
  11. Searcher78

    Searcher78 Fapstronaut

    "it's against everything that makes us human."
    Seriously??? :D You know that sex can also be fun without love, right? :)
    But apparently when you only focus on the body during sex you are not a human anymore. :rolleyes:
    Interesting statement. ;)
     
    TheForsakeen likes this.
  12. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    Sex without love is empty. And with love I don't mean within a marriage, I mean with a spiritual connection towards the partner. This is what makes us human since we ARE spirit and love is the spirit's very essence.
     
    engelman and Deleted Account like this.
  13. Searcher78

    Searcher78 Fapstronaut

    Then empty sex can definitely be pretty awesome. ;)
    Also whatever qualifies us as humans is clearly not necessary for enjoying sex. Have you ever seen bonobos? :)
     
  14. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    There's a very subtle difference between the joyful feeling of connecting versus separating sex. I'd qualify it as the difference between peacefulness versus restlessness or being present versus needing to achieve.
     
    Searcher78 and Psalm27:1my light like this.
  15. Searcher78

    Searcher78 Fapstronaut

    Let's agree on that:
    - For many people sex with love is preferable to sex without love.
    - But there are also (normal, good) people who have positive experiences with sex even when no love is involved.
    I think those statements should not be very controversial. :)
     
    mr.incognito likes this.
  16. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    This is not about good or bad people have preference for sex with love or without love. This is about experiencing love and peace when we are connected in sex and experiencing fear or restlessness when we are not connected. We might think we have a positive experience in loveless sex, but in fact we'll discover sooner or later this is an illusion. This is what I've discovered in my life and being at this forum is part of the learning process towards releasing my old illusions.
     
  17. thinking_differently

    thinking_differently Fapstronaut

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    Awesome! I like it.

    Yeah! One should adhere to what works best for that person.

    If a person has the ability to think for oneself, and can appropriately judge the situation, to hell with the “expert’s opinion”!
     
    idonthaveaname likes this.
  18. thinking_differently

    thinking_differently Fapstronaut

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    @ahighertruth
    If you may, answer
    1.Why don’t politicians impose strict restrictions on Corruption?
    2.Why is smoking not banned altogether?
    3.Why do many doctors refuse to provide detailed answers to a patient’s query?

    Now Answer:
    Why do people on the internet keep reinforcing Porn is not bad?
     
    idonthaveaname likes this.
  19. Answer to title- Comfort.
     
  20. People say a lot of shit that they do not truly believe.
    Hey, if I could watch porn with no problem - I would. I know it. But I can't. And neither can a lot of us.
    So, who cares what the world supposedly thinks? Who cares what the general opinion is? Who has time to worry about it?
    Put the energy into fixing yourself, not worrying about what you cannot change.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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