Back after 5 years

Hi guys.

Well I had a really successful reboot 5 years ago (see here https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...eclaration-of-independence.35288/#post-218664) but old habits slipped back in the and I've got myself in a bad way again with anxiety and depression. I'm now 7 days nofap bad feeling rough, tired, on the edge, sweaty, shivery and while I'm not suicidal (today at least) getting hit by a bus would be a relief at the moment.

Just wanted to drop back in the again, say hi and ask for a bit of support and encouragement to get through these tough days. I know you that better times are ahead but damn it's hard at the moment! Reading what I wrote after 90 days nofap in that link I put above gives me hope but doesn't change the fact I feel like death warmed up at the moment. What a fucking idiots for getting in this state again.

Anyway, cheers lads

 

Thanks. Would rather not be back but there you go! At least I'm doing something about it again. Hoping I can have as much much or even more success than I had last time.

It's a funny thing, you think you can handle it but man does it come back and fucking bite you hard in the ass! PMO is never a friend no matter what it whispered in your ear!

 

Thanks guys, appreciate the support. That's me at 8 days now and not really had any urges. Still feel terrible in terms of my mental health and feel like I have have mild flu, shakes, shivering, headache, tired etc but maybe not as bad as a few days ago. I tend to find I'm worse in the morning and feel a bit better in the evening.

 

Guys I feel so hopeless! Day 8 today and feel like I'll never be happy again, I'd happily fall asleep and never wake up again. Need some encouragement that this will be OK and won't take too long

 

Yeah I sort of know that's the case but am struggling at the moment to feel it. At the end of the day I just need to exist through each day at the moment and it will hopefully improve soon.

 

Been doing a bit more reading and research about withdrawal symptoms and came across this page https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/reb...oes-withdrawal-from-porn-addiction-look-like/

Some very good information on it and there is a video that is very helpful. Parts of the video just completely describe what I'm going through at the moment. It's good to hear others describe what I'm experiencing as a pretty standard part of the process. I also want to encourage other guys who have these intense withdrawals that it sounds pretty standard. Currently I am dog tired, have a headache a lot of the day and feel depressed and anxious. I vaguely remember the start of my successful reboot 5 years ago was brutal but as the brain tends to do I have to think I've kind of blocked out the worst memories.

That's another reason I'm putting things down here. So that (God forbid!) I ever get myself back into this situation I can have something to look back on and help me to know that the pain is part of the process. That is a really fundamental point I think. The pain could be viewed as a penance for the abuse that I have committed against my brain or it could be viewed as sort of like pain of a rebirth. Regardless if I, and possibly others, want to get through and to the better other side it's just a case of taking one day at a time and putting up with the withdrawals.

I'll try and write details here as days go on as to how things develop and change (improve hopefully!) and feel free to ask any questions if you'd like to know anything.

 

Thanks guys. I felt not too bad when I woke up this morning but feel terrible now. Not energy, just want to lay on the couch and dose, shakes, sweats, headache, brains fog. On day 9 at the moment, not sure how much longer I can handle this

 

Day 10 today and feeling rough this morning. Had some minor urges in bed this morning for relief but didn't, and won't, follow through on it. Anxiety is high but it's like that a lot of the time and especially in the morning at the moment. Really want to feel a little better, this is so tiring. I'm going away with my kids to see my sister for a few days tomorrow so hopefully a change of scene and other people about will lift me. Still feel like I'm coming off crack though!

 

How long did you feel like that for? Not sure how much longer I can handle it!

 

Thanks. I'm hoping it doesn't last too much longer for me. I felt a bit more positive earlier this morning but I'm feeling like crap again!

 

Sorry my head is all over the place so apologies for missing your questions! Sex and erections were fine after reboot. In fact I've never had any sort of ED, that's not why I did nofap, I did it because I was depressed and wondering if it had any bearing on that and it seemed it did.

The reason I'm asking questions even though I've been through it is because it was over 5 years ago and I'm struggling to remember the time frame and what I felt like.