Hi everybody. I'm new.

Greetings all,

I am new here. I hope you and yours have been safe during this pandemic.

I will try not to make this post long. I have never discussed this with anybody in my life ever so it is great to have found this forum.

I used to be horribly addicted to pornography. I always sensed it was a weapon, deep down inside. Breaking free from it has been awesome.

I haven't looked at pornography in years. My favourite stuff was watching the pictures and videos of girls by themselves (e.g. MET-ART type stuff). When I was having a hard time getting actual girlfriends I absolutely hated watching other guys get laid so I didn't watch that kind of stuff.

I used a fleshlight to get me away from the porn and it helped. It's a fake pussy (obviously) but at least you can touch it, unlike a pussy on a screen.

Something that drove me crazy with porn was knowing that it was all an illusion, knowing that I was getting off on a moment that had already passed, getting off, literally, on the past. This used to anger me thinking about fappin' to other people living their lives, e.g. getting laid; this anger helped me to stop watching it.

Anyway, I am afraid of porn now so staying away isn't hard for me anymore (for a few years now). I get the odd temptation to go and look at those sites sometimes but I quickly remember how porn and "erotic art" completely deadened my senses. Now, just a girl wearing tight jeans or a bikini will (can) make me really hard but before, when I was trapped in porn, nothing in the real world would excite me.

But the fleshlight makes fappin' way better which isn't good either. And so now, to get away from that, I have decided it's time to go Hard Mode, or to at least begin training for it. I am hoping that Hard Mode fixes my PE (which isn't always there but...) as I have read that reducing the amount of releases per week helps to eliminate PE.

Perhaps I have said too much. I hope you are all well.

 

Thank you very much.