Could porn have contributed to this shift in my personality?

Hey man addiction is a son of a bitch. I'd bet $1000 against a penny that it had something to do with it at the very least. But especially since you're aware of it now, you can start heading down the road back.

 

You should really give Nofap a proper try. PMO does this to you. It zaps you of energy and motivation. Read some success stories. The effects are real.

 

i can relate when you said its like a chore to go out. It takes a lot of motivation to do so. I was gonna go out to my usual night spot last night which is open now and only to 9pm but i just couldnt find the energy to take a quick shower dress good shave do my hair nice and leave. I just stayed in and watched a movie until i was ready for bed

 

I feel you with the becoming extremely self-conscious about appearance..my friends tell me constantly I am a 7-8 lookswise however, trying and failing hard at Onlinedating and the unfiltered hypergamy that rules that harsh venue, a Colloseum of social darwinism really, made me lose that core belief that I am hot and good enough and especially made me to comfortable and lazy and self-absorbed/self-conscious to even approach women. This bugs me big time!

 

porn contributes but is not the root cause of the issue. the root cause of the issue is something from the inside that prevents you from living a normal life, like you once did. you have to think deep, it could be that maybe your gf broke your heart or that you didn't like your friends anymore. i know for a fact PMO will amplify the depression, but its not the cause of it by any means.

 

Porn was definitely a contributing factor but you cannot blame it for everything. I think you should blame yourself and the detach from the negative emotions that come with it. Dissect what you learn and move on.

 

I can relate so much to your story wow.

 

You know, thats exactly my story as well. I made it 90 days more than once. 105 days even. Dont give up. If what you do now isnt working, then try a different approach. During my best streaks I did a bunch of things different.

I need people around me. Having a social and busy life helped me staying on track. Going to school, working out, having friends and crushes, cold showers and meditation. Also reading a ton of success stories. I also participated in a online 12-step program with daily tasks.

You just need to do some proper research. Figure out what tools you need to succeed.

Some keywords:

- commitment

- Peer pressure

- Stay busy

- Dont focus on fighting the old but on building the new

- Read success stories

- Write a list of reasons to stay clean

My list of tools is quite short for now but it will for sure get longer soon.

 

The porn tends to dull guys.

When I did my first reboot, after I got through the withdrawls,

I really came alive.

I felt vibrant, unafraid, energetic, crazy.

It was a rush.

I'd spent a ton of years as isolated as you describe.

Most people as adults are mostly isolated.

Porn makes it worse, but also there is more isolation

as adults than during school.

There is nothing wrong with isolation, some prefer it.

I hated it after my divorce, but the more I socialized,

the more it seemed like people only wanted to talk about money.

They wanted to know what I had, or had an indirect way of trying to

find out if they could get money from me.

The more I heard the money talk, the more I got jaded.

Finally, I ditched the lot.

Then I suffered again in loneliness.

But I started to figure that if I was on my own for a while,

I'd probably get used to it.

And in this reboot, I have.

I'm isolated, but not "lonely".

In this reboot, with the pandemic fear, I learned to be ok with just being me.

I don't need anybody to affirm that.

If "me" is not good enough for "me", that's when I get lonely.

Loneliness is a symptom of a self-esteem issue.

 

Yes. Definitely.

 

The same thing happened to me.

Until I was 13, I was a happy, extroverted, motivated, friendly person. I had lots of friends and was always outside. I had hobbies and enjoyed life. I always made jokes and was famous at school. People liked me. I was full of life energy and positive.

When I was 13, I started PMO and within 2 weeks I was a completely different person. I became introverted and didn't talk much anymore. I was no longer interested in my friends or in life. It was as if the world had lost its colours. I no longer pursued my hobbies and withdrew. Since then I have been plagued with anhedonia, brain fog and social anxiety.

I also began to be extremely self-conscious and was insecure about my appearance. Same thing.. Crazy...

It's only a matter of time before dopamine is back to normal baseline levels. -> DOPAMINE BASELINE LEVEL

Can you remember how long it took for your personality to change since you started with PMO? For me it was after about 2 weeks.

 

Here's my take on it. I was a VERY outgoing child. I was always outside doing something, and I'd talk to everybody. I was in the middle of everything and always had friends over at the house.

Then, when I discovered porn at about age 11, my whole personality just got deleted. I became self-conscious, sullen, depressed, and introverted. I switched schools, but didn't make new friends except with another awkward boy who had no friends. I never talked because I had nothing to say to anyone. If any close family members asked me questions about my life, I would get emotional. I was always on a computer or game console and staying alone at home.

For the longest time I thought what happened to me was puberty, but one day I realized that is the opposite of how puberty usually goes. Usually puberty makes boys more aggressive, and impulsive.

Don't kid yourself dude, it's the porn. But the good thing is that you went through puberty before you discovered it, so you at least have a better idea of who you used to be. The whole period of growing up where boys act crazy and start fights and stuff is just missing from my life, so it's almost like I'm entering puberty right now in my thirties and going through that as an adult.

 

Does it really matter if it was porn or not that caused the change? I think the important thing now is what do you want from life TODAY. You changed for whatever reason and I don't think you like what has become of your isolated life. Start making changes to fix the isolation, get out more, make an effort to meet people, find a gf, whatever, just do something different.

Lastly, stop watching porn. It sucks and will mess up your life. No good comes from porn so make that your first change. Do not watch porn.

 

I am 27 and I did PMO from age 13-22.

I found out about NoFap when I was 20 years old and only then did I realise that PMO was the reason for the change in my personality. Before that I had no idea.

That's exactly what I had because of the photo and mirror.

Drugs and alcohol have never interested me either.

1. Did you masturbate before the age of 18?

2. When you started with PMO at 18, did it escalate? So did you start watching other categories and fetishes or was it always just "normal" porn?

 

Oh man. You're describing me. I totally agree with you.

 

Yes, it is important to know that PMO was the reason for this.