1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

just another teen tryna fix his life

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by TB4, Aug 6, 2020.

  1. TB4

    TB4 Fapstronaut

    156
    89
    28
    (Edit-this all was written in August, the scene is different now)
    So I'm about 14, been addicted since 11, was trying nofap for more than a month now-highest number of days till now had been 5, I'm an obese kinda popular kinda smart kid,i used to be the best in the school and now it's the top 10/20 in my class
    I never struggled with maintaing friendships but always felt like the females were avoiding me and just felt inferior to my friends
    Coming back to the problem
    I have a few goals-
    To stop PMO completely
    To get a better physique
    To get my motivation and clarity about life
    I've always been and still am an avid reader and i'm trying to remain that way but my lack of interest is becoming really noticeable now
    And i've experienced two things for the 2-4 day streaks I've had till now
    A) On the one day that i reached day 5 i had an extreme desire to actually do stuff and to study to workout etc and i want to have that back it's called the superpower last time i checked

    B)This girl that i used to have a crush on and am really good friends with starting messaging me and we started to talk and yesterday she asked me to let it all out ie-She noticed i was acting wierd and was diffrent now,after some pressing i finnaly did and now she says that She'll help me get through this and she's there if i ever need someone
    I want advice on-
    a)How i could manage my time since i've found myself with 6 sometimes 10 hours of screen time which is horrible for me
    B)how do i maintain my streaks at the moment im on day 2 again and I wanna know how i can defeat my urges
    C) how i can get these superpowers back since i i have almost 0 intrest in studies now but i need to start scoring more since im approaching the end of school and start of college years
    Day 3 report:Okay so today was extremely horrible,on the night of day 2 I had horrible urges and couldn't sleep at all,stayed awake till 1 am but managed to not give in,next day woke up at around 9 and started school stuff immediately (this was 1 win) then i attended the meeting with my tr and talked (thru text) to a few friends (another win) then i had some extra classes in the afternoon and that's when the urges started again these were extremely horrible and i almost relapsed many times,even searched pornstars, different keywords etc and clicked on images but closed the tab before anything could load (partly a win) then i fell asleep watching a few vids and after waking up started scrolling insta on my spare acc (big big mistake) and came across soft porn and i looked at that for a really long time and almost went to hard porn as well but closed the tab before it would load,I logged out of my spare acc and I plan to delete it,then i did a 7 min workout (another win) but i started edging in the shower after that (fail)
    I noticed a few things
    A)This felt better than mastuburating to any kind of porn ever
    B)I lasted a really long time without even feeling like cumming and gathred the courage to stop myself,now while edging i wasn't thinking of any kind of porn or anything erotic at all my mind was blank and all i felt was how good edging felt physically,a
    no porn,and no thoughts about porn whatsoever
    C)I couldn't take a cold shower,if the water was too cold i wouldn't be able to breathe and would have to get out of the shower,i have no clue how it works but it was really annoying
    And now im writing this before heading to sleep,i wouldn't count today as relapsing so tommorow's still day 4 for me (bcuz I didn't look at any hard porn and didn't feel any of the negative emotions one would normally after relapsing)
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2020
    Shadow™輝ツ likes this.
  2. On the path

    On the path Fapstronaut

    27
    37
    18
    If you've got parents that care, they might help you better than that girl can. Girls say they want to help, but they really have no idea what to do, and just give emotional support while you struggle and it really just turns them off.

    I can totally get not wanting to ask your parents for help because it's really embarrassing for you, but if I had a son, I would do anything to help. Still, the main reason to ask your parents for help is that they can do some real shit to help -- Shit that your girl can't. They can do things like take away your damn computer and phone so you have zero access to the internet for 90 days. I beat my cravings by using absolutely NO internet from April until August. No internet, get your ass outside on a bench and read. Or they can do things like get your a gym subscription so you're spending far more time out of the house and off the internet.
     
    Roady likes this.
  3. The White Fang

    The White Fang Fapstronaut

    28
    71
    13
    Hi,
    M
    aybe this could help,
    now for the first problem regarding screen time,try to find out where you are currently in the aspect of phone usage(i.e.
    how many hours do you spend on it,you have mentioned it in your post but double check it again..)
    Then, if you are using your mobile then the possible time suckers would be social media apps<take a break from them if it is so>,Secondly try to use greyscale on your mobile<search what it is and how to enable it on the internet)
    thirdly use the pomodoro technique for studying which is 25 minutes of studying and 5 minutes of break.... this is helpful if you are trying to get back on track in the matter of studying.{i would recommend FOREST app for the above technique.}
    For defeating urges u can Meditate, Excersise[THERE ARE APPS ON THE PLAY STORE OR THE IOS STORE OR JUST SIMPLY FOLLOW THROUGH A YOU TUBE WORKOUT VIDEO FOR BEGINNERS] ,and even do cold showers[one helpful tip:if your dick hardens or some urge appears and you cant battle it and also cant take a cold shower then pour some water on it or wash the entire lower area of your body with cold water.]





    HOPE THIS HELPED
    ANY QUERIES, DONT HESITATE TO ASK
    With Regards,
    Kakashi
     
  4. TB4

    TB4 Fapstronaut

    156
    89
    28
    firstly thanks for the advice, Hoping that the Pomodoro technique helps, Most of my screen time is either in gaming/learning python/useful stuff/school stuff and scrolling through memes, I can out the last one but to what extent do I limit my gaming? What amount of time's reasonable? Also, I watch some anime and or movies but that isn't as serious, secondly, any specific workout you might wanna recommend, I feel overwhelmed by the sheer variety of stuff I could do and end up doing nothing, I don't shower that much just once every alternate day but your advice will work out I'm sure about that
    lastly the most important question-You say you're Kakashi but your username's The white fang, Kakashi's dad, Who are you in actuality? xD
     
  5. TB4

    TB4 Fapstronaut

    156
    89
    28
    That's exactly what I would've been doing if it weren't for COVID,and apart from the internet, i don't really have anything to do since everything's closed and I did go to the gym before this happened but I would've never been allowed to do weights or anything except cardio so that disappointed me a bit
    so what can I do without going outside?
    About the advice situation- one day my parents caught me and that's partly why I started but i don't really have the best relationship with them, and it's far easier to just talk with friends, and you're absolutely correct when you say she doesn't know what she's doing but it gives me relief at least knowing there's someone I can text/call anytime to get my mind off the urges and I won't have to make up random stuff I can be completely honest
     
  6. The White Fang

    The White Fang Fapstronaut

    28
    71
    13
    hi,
    limit your gaming to atleast one hour, i am sure you are not getting any added benefits mentally or physically while playing games.
    watching anime and movies are fine but be selective, if it contains triggers then you are likely to relapse.
    also, i do not have any specific workout to recommend but if you are starting out to workout you can try the 7 min workout on youtube, it is good for beginners.[I also felt overwhelmed by the sheer amount of workouts on youtube, just pick one and stick to it, or you can ask advice on the NOFAP FITNESS THREAD as i believe there are many members who will be able to solve your dilemma]

    oh the answer to the last question is ...............



    FOCUS ON YOUR MISSION,
    DONT STRAY FROM YOUR NINJA WAY
     
  7. TB4

    TB4 Fapstronaut

    156
    89
    28
    I do actually mastuburate wayyyyy too much 4/5 times a day was normal for me so im hoping theseuthese superpowers actually work
    I dont fell any of the negative emotions that I've seen other people feel,I never hate myself after relapsing i just get mad that im jacking off to porn instead of a real person (I know there's still atleast 7 years till my marriage)
    Is this a bad thing or am i really lucky?
     
  8. TB4

    TB4 Fapstronaut

    156
    89
    28
    Just 1 hour that feels too less,but I guess i could cut out all my solo gaming and only play with my friends,I guess that could work
    I will ask for advice on the other forum as you suggest since i still feel overwhelmed (i actually walked for some time today felt good)
    And i will watch out for triggers in movies/animes thanks for the advice
    And lastly-"Hai hokage sama"
     
  9. TB4

    TB4 Fapstronaut

    156
    89
    28
    Day 3 report:Okay so today was extremely horrible,on the night of day 2 I had horrible urges and couldn't sleep at all,stayed awake till 1 am but managed to not give in,next day woke up at around 9 and started school stuff immediately (this was 1 win) then i attended the meeting with my tr and talked (thru text) to a few friends (another win) then i had some extra classes in the afternoon and that's when the urges started again these were extremely horrible and i almost relapsed many time,even searched pornstars, different keywords etc and clicked on images but closed the tab before anything could load (partly a win) then i fell asleep watching a few vids and after waking up started scrolling insta on my spare acc (big big mistake) and came across soft porn and i looked at that for a really long time and almost went to hard porn as well but closed the tab before it would load,I logged out of my spare acc and I plan to delete it,then i did a 7 min workout (another win) but i started edging in the shower after that (fail)
    I noticed a few things
    A)This felt better than mastuburating to any kind of porn ever
    B)I lasted a really long time without even feeling like cumming and gathred the courage to stop myself,now while edging i wasn't thinking of any kind of porn or anything erotic at all my mind was blank and all i felt was how good edging felt, physically again no porn,and no thoughts about porn whatsoever
    C)I couldn't take a cold shower,if the water was too cold i wouldn't be able to breathe and would have to get out of the shower,i have no clue how it works but it was really annoying
    And now im writing this before heading to sleep,i wouldn't count today as relapsing so tommorow's still day 4 for me (bcuz I didn't look at any hard porn and didn't feel any of the negative emotions after relapsing
     
  10. Quitterrr

    Quitterrr Fapstronaut

    192
    346
    63
    Your sorry is exactly like mine, but I got addicted at 12, my highest streak was 5 too, until one time I watched a video on YouTube that said the following:
    "You can't stop because YOU LOVE WHAT YOURE DOING" you like pmo, you like the feeling, you like it, you became addicted to it, you need to hate it, see the effects it did on you, where they positive? Hell no, besides after I saw the video, my highest streak was 12 days, then I tried again, and now I'm on day 162 and counting, also u need an accountability partner, just talking to someone about ur struggle will receive some pain, if you're interested in me being your partner, start a conversation with me and I'll send u my phone number so we can talk on WhatsApp, but it's ur choice :)
     
  11. TB4

    TB4 Fapstronaut

    156
    89
    28
    That's some amazing advice, if you could, could I get the link to the video?
    Also, the girl that I mentioned (we're not dating, just close friends) She's my accountability partner, She seems to understand what it's like and Knows me well enough to help me, So thanks for the offer but I decline
     
    Shadow™輝ツ and Quitterrr like this.
  12. Quitterrr

    Quitterrr Fapstronaut

    192
    346
    63
    I searched for the video thousands of times, but I couldn't find it, I'll try one more time, wish me luck
     
    Shadow™輝ツ likes this.
  13. TB4

    TB4 Fapstronaut

    156
    89
    28
    Let's go you can do it!
     
  14. Quitterrr

    Quitterrr Fapstronaut

    192
    346
    63
    I couldn't find it, I believe he deleted it as I found every other video that was surrounding his, but still I gave you the main idea of his video:
    You like your addiction, deep down you know you love your addiction, you need to hate it, see its effects on you, then you'll quit with ease (the video was talking about every addiction not a specific one)
     
  15. TB4

    TB4 Fapstronaut

    156
    89
    28
    I gotta think of how much its ruined my life,i gotta think about how i got no stamina,a tonna fat,horrible social life,and i gotta think of how badly it affected my brain power and my energy levels,sounds fun
     
  16. TB4

    TB4 Fapstronaut

    156
    89
    28
    December 9th, I've been in nofap for 5.7ish months now,i believe i started mid may,highest streak has been 7 days which has slips in it as well,and that was months,months ago,after relapsing countinously for months on end i tried to get back,but all i got was 2/3 day streaks, every time i get the urge I can't seem to remember why im doing nofap,why nofap is gonna help me,and even now when i think about it i just can't seem to understand why,i read a crap ton of nofap stories and know all about the benefits, but they seem so *foreign* to me, like myths, legends, stuff that you only ever hear about but they don't exist, I've been feeling super depressed,super stressed/anxious and i believe i have adhd,and maybe ocd,i plan on starting journaling, I can't seem to focus at all,all wanna excerise but can't ever bring myself to it, I'm 86kg,26ish BMI, which means borderline obese, extremely smart,used to score amazingly but after i started PMO can't even come in top 10 of the class, extremely hard to study,and I've been tryna find purpose,tryna find what i wanna do,my only hobbies are gaming,being in a band,i have many friends,but i always feel inferior to them and barely get female attention,i asked out this girl recently,said she liked me too (i highly doubt,or is that my depression/anxiety) but she doesn't wanna date now,and i just feel lost,what do i even do
     
  17. Nappy_kiddo

    Nappy_kiddo New Fapstronaut

    Okay. So, Let me tell you what I think about what your issues...

    First things first, you keep saying you were the smartest kid around the block before, and that that's not the case anymore. You also happen to say that you have a lot of friends, but friends that aren't close enough for you to talk openly to, without any constraints. Now, Do you think that there's actually a chance that, a lot of these friends you have, were/are your friends because you're smart or anything ?
    # Anyway's doesn't matter, just try and find someone you can talk to. You'll definitely favour some friends over the others, and find someone whom you can just talk to, if you're feeling lonely.. I hope you have a person now, the friend you talked about before.. #

    I'll share with you some idea's and some experiences I've had with Porn, and Masturbation, and I hope they'll be of some use to you..

    I first started pmo-ing with the curiosity of knowing what jerking of will be like, what it would feel like, and everything. Now, porn was very exciting to watch at, and still continues to be, because, I tend to look at it from time to time, as I think I'm not too serious with my reboot, and abstention. But, it's not a very good thing to do, for a variety of reasons, and let me inform you of the reasons :

    1. Porn tends to mislead us, like a lot ! Relations in real life, and generally, intercourse in real life, is not as glamorous, or as glorified as they're portrayed to be.. They can be, but, porn can lead to people setting certain standards, or have a very big misconception of how relationships work, and that's definitely not a good thing.
    2. They're things that awaken the raw sex appeal in every human, like they tend to capitalize on every human's desire and attraction towards the pleasure experienced during sex, and over hype it..
    3. Looking at porn, staring at nudes, half-nudes, peeking at erotic content, edging over any porn video, or any activity relating to sex in any manner, could make the brain produce dopamine. Now, when we're hit with dopamine, we feel a lot of pleasure, and that's something we obviously want to keep experiencing.

    Dopamine is usually produced, like when someone tends to work hard over a period of time to achieve a goal, and ends up achieving it. They've put in time and effort to succeed at some act, and the brain rewards us with feeling of pleasure, and also serotonin is released to make us feel happy, so it's natural to feel happy after achieving something you've worked hard to achieve;

    Like working out consistently to see some results, which make a person happy, and experience pleasure, because they've invested some valuable amount of time, and put in a lot of effort to work on their body.
    But, porn tends to give us pleasure, like it becomes responsible for the brain secreting dopamine, just out of us watching people perform intercourse (only because they get paid a shit ton of money to do whatever they're asked to..), without putting in any sort of effort, or spending any significant time ourselves; on anything sex related. We tend to please ourselves, when we've not put in any effort, or spent significant time, into feeling pleased by some sex related activity.

    Now, the dopamine hit one experiences, when watching porn, ejaculating to porn, or edging to porn (which is far more dangerous than just masturbating, or looking at porn) makes them feel very good. Like they feel so good, and this feeling is appreciated, and you're able to enjoy an activity, without having to work hard, or spend a lot of time on it. And, this is quite normal.

    Try and answer this question; There are two possible scenarios.
    One is where you work really hard, spend a lot of time to achieve your goals, and end up making a lot of money in doing that. And the other case, is where you end up getting recognition, make a lot of money and achieve all your goals, without having to work hard, or without having to flex your muscle. Basically, you achieve whatever you would achieve as in the first case, without having to do any work, or spending little to no time on it.

    Now, which scenario would you like to be in, at ?

    Almost all of us, would want to be in the second scenario, and it's quite obvious why. You're getting the same results, the same rewards in both cases, and it doesn't depend on the amount of work you do, or the time you spend on yourself; so you will definitely choose to be in the second scenario, because it's more efficient. But, the second case is highly unlikely to happen in real life. It definitely feels good, and everyone would want to be that person, but, it's most probably not gonna happen, and it's highly unrealistic. Just like porn; It's too good to be true. All the voluptuous figures, and beautiful people you see in porn, aren't gonna be the kind of people you're most definitely going to meet. But, after looking at it, you would want someone like that, and due to porn videos containing mostly of such people, one would assume that, that's how a normal person is most likely to be; but they're not ! [in most cases] It raises our expectations, and tends to make us act like a slave, by taking advantage of the fact that it helps in secretion of dopamine without much strain [and logically, it's more efficient at making oneself happy - without much effort, or much investment in him/herself] thus, making us get hooked to it.

    But, most results, or things obtained without effort, don't last, and most results, are observed only after a person invests a significant amount of time in working on something, like working out, reading a book, etc.
    Gaming, masturbation, and many such activities tend to give us pleasure, but, no real benefits out of being involved in it. They in fact, only tend to make us, want more and more of them, and this takes away a lot of time from our day; leaving us with less time to work on ourselves. Social Media is very unnecessary. You don't need to have an instagram account. You don't need to ! You'll see how much more time you have to work on yourself, and how much more relaxing, less draining, less anxious or less depressing it is, when you stop using instagram.

    Realize that results you achieve through hard work, are the only results that last long. Being smart isn't enough; you've to work hard to achieve results. Things won't always have to be easy, just because you're smart. Start working on yourself.
    You're very young. You've realized that you've got some problems, and you're trying to change yourself. You're already ahead than most other people, who fail to admit that they've got a problem. You've got a head start, and if you just happen to work on yourself, you'll be in a much, much better place in a few years down the line.

    Start reading again. It might not be as enjoyable as, say playing a game.
    But, it's more beneficial than playing a game, and isn't gonna strain your eyes as much.
    Workout. You don't have to go to the gym to workout. Read articles on working out. Try different excercises, see what works for you. Be determined to change yourself.
    Working out isn't enough in itself. You've to have a proper diet, that supplements your workout.
    Talk to new people, make new friends. Try and find good friends. Maybe they're already around you. Talk to them. Spend your time productively.
    And don't spend too much time by yourself, being idle. You're very likely to think bad of yourself, and start mourning. Go out, socialize. If that's not who you're, read some books, talk to your parents, grandparents, or do something productive, or perhaps play a game.

    Work on yourself, and get better. Wishing you very good luck on your journey.
    CHEERS ! :)
     
  18. TB4

    TB4 Fapstronaut

    156
    89
    28
    I can summarize my replies in a few parts-
    A) i do have quite a few friends,all the male ones are not gonna understand anything about why im doing nofap cuz they themselves indulge in PMO frequently and they won't understand the concept of nofap,all my female friends are a females so they won't understand either,i tried with the friend i mentioned before but she just didn't have any clue and tried giving me some advice,it became annoying after a while so i made sure not to ever bring nofap up again,i have many friends and im inspired by almost all of them,i try to learn from each one and i don't know if its a co-incidence or my subconscious but all my friends are better than me in one way or another in a specific area where im weak,for example many of my friends are good at studying,others are good at sports etc, almost as if i chose them to learn from them,and no my friends didn't choose to be with me just cuz im smart, cuz most of them are smarter than me now,or atleast score more than me cuz there isn't an efficient way to measure smartness
    B)i fully understand the trap of porn,all it's problems and just how much it messes up your brain,but being so young its extremely hard to have total control over my life because im forced to do certain things which i hate ie-school and everything related to it,and am tottaly depended on my parents for basiclly everything,i feel as if i know everything about a poison,how deadly it is and yet im drinking it,no matter how i much i try to stop the pleasure of porn overcomes me and i end up relapsing,its annoying,my trigger is stress,which mostly comes from school, which comes from my boards next year,which can solved by studying but i can't study cuz of stress and I'm postive i have adhd so its an infinite loop which can only be broken once i graduate school, next year,so I can't do anything about the source of my stress,i suck at managing it and it causes me to relapse to feel better,i know it and i hate it and yet i can't do much
    C)being so young and being one step ahead of others for me isn't a privalage,its a necessity,i wanna be a business man and be mad rich, because my dreams aren't cheap,and for that I can't be average, although at most times i feel as if im below average but that's probably my depressed/anxious mind, I've already been developing quite a decent skillset for myself,i can play 2 instruments,i can read a lot (i picked that habit back up) im good at making plans,summarizing information, reciting it to others and leading that pack, good with technology, plan to learn how to code, i can speak 5 Languages fluently, somewhat know french, can read 9 languages, incredibly good at problem solving, good at convincing (i think),a lot of knowledge of psychology,foods and diet,and still educating myself on how excerises work, I'm genetically blessed with 6 feet of height (still growing), don't have a nice physique yet but I'm working on it, and also blessed with a somewhat deep voice,and this skillset is only gonna grow
    D)cons- addicted to technology,porn,crave others opinions, depressed,anxious,adhd,maybe ocd (yet to check),borderline obese,not as social as I'd like,(try to go to every plan im invited to and been joining ad many groups as possible) mostly because being 14 we don't really make that many plans in the first place anyhow,decent grades, extremely hard to study, extremely hormonal and stupid as soon as i get a crush, Addicted to gaming and scrolling insta,so on so forth,you get the idea.
    Sincerely,
    Just another teen tryna fix his life
     
  19. TB4

    TB4 Fapstronaut

    156
    89
    28
    Today is March 14th, on january 29th i broke my 9 day streak, (highest yet) and I'm still stupidly depressed about that, currently on day 5 and the hormones are driving me crazy,i started nofap roughly before turning 14 and gifted myself a lot as my birthday gift, I'll be fifteen in 2 months and will guy the 1 year nofap mark, didn't make a lot of progress, but hey still better than pmoing thrice a day all the time, my skillset hasn't improved much except I'm studying more now, depression has been at its peek,dont know if its typical teenaging or not but i don't like my parents now,i tried to convince them to take me to an adhd test but they straight up refused, I've gained 5 kilos since December and i currently weigh 91kg which is horrible and i wanna change that but its so difficult and I don't know what im gonna do,and I've been as suicidal as ever and the only reason im not dead yet is because my religion forbids it,and im scared of the afterlife,been reading a lot of philosophy and not much to say about it except it keeps my mind thinking,i love it,i don't know what to do with my life, I've got goals but my depression is killing me,quite literally
     
  20. TB4

    TB4 Fapstronaut

    156
    89
    28
    Day 6-urges are horribly annoying, a 4/10 on the difficulty scale but just doesn't seem to go away,kinda annoying but i'll deal with it, I've been talking to a lot of girls,and I've made a ton of female friends and let me tell you they're a blessing and apart from that im doing relatively fine with school, studying although i did copy all my exams, but even then its better than not studying
     

Share This Page